Fence Building (need advise w/ a pushy neighbor)

Ruger1022 · #1 08-20-2010, 04:18 PM

Long story short...

My neighbor came to me yesterday with a bill from a local home store for $2500 and want me to pay half, and his buddy is giving him a deal for the holes with a bobcat at $8 a hole. I dont mind paying up, but I moved into the house a month ago and I havn't even got my grading cert, **** I havn't even unpacked all the boxes in the house.
He is putting real pressure on me and my wife (who is 6mnts prego) and its really starting to burn me up a little. I had to confront him yesterday about not discussing this with the wife and directly speak with me about any plans,.. ( I am sure he could see my fustration). An hour later he shows up with a couple of whisky drinks in his hand. I figure he wants to talk and sort this out, then he starts going on about if and when I am going to help build the fence. I asked him outright why he is in such a hurry....response; he is sick of walking his dog in the mud, he figures that he needs a fence to lay the grass.

Now I am caught in the I don't want to be the azzhole neighbor, but at the same time I am not a push over.

As I am typing the wife called said he got a load of top soil and he is starting to put the holes in??

What would you do to keep the peace?
Thx
guys

CaberTosser · #2 08-20-2010, 04:31 PM

If he wanted you to go halfers on the fence, he should have consulted you prior to starting. If you wanted in on it, then you would also have some say in it's design and costs. It's a pretty ignorant assumption to just start and expect you to ante in without consultation. I'd tell him to pound dirt.

On my fence between my north neighbor, I just built and paid for it myself. I would not have said "no" if she wanted to share the cost, but there was a fence there that I removed, and the big fact that she was battling cancer at the time; I didn't want to bug her with something comparably trivial. So I have put my money where my mouth is in the exact same situation.

boss.rooster · #3 08-20-2010, 04:34 PM

Funny. First off you need to phone the county or town and ask them what your legal obligations are. I am guessing since hes puttin sod grass down your in town?? Call and ask someone. If your legal obligation is zero, say sure your down with whatever he wants and cheer him on as he is putting the fence in. Just tell him to send ya the bill once hes done. Then when he gives you the bill, give him the news your not playing for anything! When someone pushes dont fall over, push back! Make him think your his friend then stick him with the bill!

The key to all of this is find out your legal obligations first. Hes the one who wants the fence so tell him to put it in. He has the dog, so he proly needs a fence more than you. Unless you have one as well....then your proly hooped.

Have fun fighting with the neighbour the rest of your life.

Ryry4 · #4 08-20-2010, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaberTosser

If he wanted you to go halfers on the fence, he should have consulted you prior to starting. If you wanted in on it, then you would also have some say in it's design and costs. It's a pretty ignorant assumption to just start and expect you to ante in without consultation. I'd tell him to pound dirt.

X2. He should of talked to you before proceeding if he wanted you to pitch in. This should be an expensive learning experience for him.

DarkAisling · #5 08-20-2010, 04:35 PM

You do realize that you have no legal obligation to pay for a fence, right?

In my old house I paid for 50% of the fence along one side of the property. I did not pay anything for the fence along the other side of the property.

I had advised the pushy neighbour who wanted the fence built "yesterday" that the fence was not in my present budget. It was a year or two before I would commit to building a fence. I made it clear that if he went ahead and built the fence before I had the funds he was doing it on his own. He also, as a result, would have full control over the appearance of the fence.

I also advised him that the fence had to be entirely and completely on his yard to avoid encrouchment and liability issues. I work in a legal survey office. I will not budge on this point. Someone can argue with me all they want. I will NEVER budge on this point.

He was not happy, but he went ahead and built the fence.

Pushy neighbour never spoke to me again.

Neighbour #2 waited until I had the money to build the fence, and I paid for 1/2 along the common property boundary. Neighbour #2 was also advised about my stipulations regarding fence placement.

The fence along the two sides of the property is not the same, but I'm not responsible for it in anyway, so that suits me just fine.

Ruger1022 · #6 08-20-2010, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryry4

X2. He should of talked to you before proceeding if he wanted you to pitch in. This should be an expensive learning experience for him.

Well thats the thing he had mentioned it, even showed me a few diffrent styles. I did not agree to anything(I DID say that one is nice), I guess he assumed I gave the OK. Now there is a mad rush to get it up, again its a new build and I still need the builder to come in and fix the grade in the yard. I can tell the neighbors on the other side maybe a little fustrated with him aswell. He is a nice guy but very intrusive and controlling mentality I believe. I know I am not obligated to pay but I dont want it to be awkward for the next 20+ years!!...

CaberTosser · #7 08-20-2010, 04:50 PM

Shelly's bang on. If buddy is building without you consent or approval, keep the whole fence on his side of the property line, this way you yard is that wee bit bigger, and HIS fence does not encroach on your real estate. With the fence I put in I did consult with my neighbor and got permission to centre it on the property line. I figured as I footed the cost and the labor, that was not too much to ask.

rugatika · #8 08-20-2010, 04:51 PM

I'd pay the 1250 and give him a hand. Sounds like a good neighbour (if maybe a little ambitious and pushy). If I was planning on staying there I'd rather be out 1250 and have a good neighbour and a good fence. There's legal obligation and then there's right. If you can't afford it right now...tell him you got other expenses but would be happy to help out if he delays it or can wait for payment.

Ruger1022 · #9 08-20-2010, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rugatika

I'd pay the 1250 and give him a hand. Sounds like a good neighbour (if maybe a little ambitious and pushy). If I was planning on staying there I'd rather be out 1250 and have a good neighbour and a good fence. There's legal obligation and then there's right. If you can't afford it right now...tell him you got other expenses but would be happy to help out if he delays it or can wait for payment.

Its not a money issue, The fence would be 75' to 100' long and I would rather wait a winter to let it settle. If it were a small fence fine, but the ground needs to settle, or in two years we will be ripping the friggin thing out and putting a new one in all at our cost...

CaberTosser · #10 08-20-2010, 04:57 PM

Rugitka also has a decent point, and adding in your admission that the "that one's nice" statement could have been interpreted as implied consent and approval that you might have given this guy the impression that you were in on it. With assertive people you have to leave no room for misinterpretation. Harvey Milquetoast will get walked over.

greylynx · #11 08-20-2010, 05:00 PM

I hate to say this, but make sure any fence that is built is not giving your neighbor a few extra yards at the expense of your property.

Check your land boundry and make sure your not getting screwed.

This can create problems in the future.

Ruger1022 · #12 08-20-2010, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaberTosser

Rugitka also has a decent point, and adding in your admission that the "that one's nice" statement could have been interpreted as implied consent and approval that you might have given this guy the impression that you were in on it. With assertive people you have to leave no room for misinterpretation. Harvey Milquetoast will get walked over.

Yea really, I guess I have to quit being the nice guy....If it were me wanting to build the fence it would have to more that "thats a nice one"...This is where I have trouble understanding peoples mentalities..?? I have to leave work in 20 mins to go home and get fired up about this again....makes me want to stay inside lock the doors and not answer the doorbells!!

Ruger1022 · #13 08-20-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greylynx

I hate to say this, but make sure any fence that is built is not giving your neighbor a few extra yards at the expense of your property.

Check your land boundry and make sure your not getting screwed.

This can create problems in the future.

I found the property pins, and I am pulling out my trusty measuring tape I guess..I also have a full city property report in my possession...whew

bagwan · #14 08-20-2010, 05:31 PM

Fences also have to conform to local by-laws etc. If this is on raw developement, mud or not it, would be advisable to wait. Rome wasn't built in a day. Time heals wounds and you sound like you're there long term. Good luck.

Fisherpeak · #15 08-20-2010, 05:32 PM

Screw him.He never consulted you on what kind of fence or whether you wanted to help out.I just finished 160 feet of 6 ft. tall 1x6 with treated and cemented posts.Took me 3 weekends and cost about 1200$I never asked the guy next door for a penny or a hand,needed doing so I did it.I even put the good side out.They love the new fence but they can kiss my butt cause they did not offer one lick of help,but they drank beer on the deck and watched.I hate being beholden to any one.
Your next door guy has a lot of gall.Tell him to **** off.

Fisherpeak · #16 08-20-2010, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bagwan

Fences also have to conform to local by-laws etc. If this is on raw developement, mud or not it, would be advisable to wait. Rome wasn't built in a day. Time heals wounds and you sound like you're there long term. Good luck.

Actually ........time wounds all heels

Got Juice? · #17 08-20-2010, 05:36 PM

He's fencing his boundary, he pays for it. Period. Unless, you being a good neighbor also wants the same thing as your neighbor. A dividing fence. In which case, you should pay half.

Look, last year I spent over 10K in fencing. Because my neighbors cows got onto my property and made one hell of a mess of my underground sprinklers.

Even as a 'good neighbor, he politely pointed out that the BC Ranch act states that you have to 'fence to keep out' pastured animals that are not your own.

Well f me....i had no idea. So I put up the fence, and dug a 9' tank trap at the gate on my property that links his crown grazing right land to his property.

Next thing you know, I get the phone call of what an A hole I am for doing that. My response was simply 'you told me to pound sand when your cattle broke fence into my place and DESTROYED MY YARD and UNDERGROUND so now you can trek your cattle 15 miles of hard travel to your grazing land.'

Well wouldn't you know it. It only took a year for him to come to the house and drop off a cheque for 1/2 the fence and ask my permission to encroach on my land as a crossing 3x per year.

I filled in my '''drainage ditch aka 9' tank trap'' back in an let him pass.

Sometimes it's the little things in life.... I still had to pay for the damage to my land (still working to replace all of it) but at least I had some satisfaction in the matter.

And I consider your problem in the same vein as mine. Ask yourself 'What would Jesus do' and then tell him EXACTLY what you think. And IF you could afford to contribute, you would, but at the present time, with a new house and a pregnant wife, he's on his own. (or offer to help, and a few hundred if you can spare it) if he spurns that offer, well, he can do that old sex'n'travel thing.

Fisherpeak · #18 08-20-2010, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryry4

X2. He should of talked to you before proceeding if he wanted you to pitch in. This should be an expensive learning experience for him.

X2,that is why I just built my fence.Never asked for a penny.Neede done.Got her did.

Duramaximos · #19 08-20-2010, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkAisling

You do realize that you have no legal obligation to pay for a fence, right?

In my old house I paid for 50% of the fence along one side of the property. I did not pay anything for the fence along the other side of the property.

I had advised the pushy neighbour who wanted the fence built "yesterday" that the fence was not in my present budget. It was a year or two before I would commit to building a fence. I made it clear that if he went ahead and built the fence before I had the funds he was doing it on his own. He also, as a result, would have full control over the appearance of the fence.

I also advised him that the fence had to be entirely and completely on his yard to avoid encrouchment and liability issues. I work in a legal survey office. I will not budge on this point. Someone can argue with me all they want. I will NEVER budge on this point.

He was not happy, but he went ahead and built the fence.

Pushy neighbour never spoke to me again.

Neighbour #2 waited until I had the money to build the fence, and I paid for 1/2 along the common property boundary. Neighbour #2 was also advised about my stipulations regarding fence placement.

The fence along the two sides of the property is not the same, but I'm not responsible for it in anyway, so that suits me just fine.

Interesting...just a word advise based on my experience.

I don't have any issues with someone not contributing to the costs of a common fence. What I do take issue with is someone pushing to have the fence put entirely on the opposite side of their property line.

I had a neighbor once who pulled this exact same thing on me.
I explained to him that if I put the fence entirely on my side of the line I wouldn't even have enough space to roll a wheel barrow or a lawn mower! He smuggly told me to stuff it. So I proceeded to build the fence entirely on my side of the line. Not being one to take **** from anyone I went to a nearby firestation and asked if they would donate to me several random gallons of paint that had been turned in.... I go home and start painting the opposite side of MY fence several shades of green, pink, brown, blue, and yellow.

You should have seen his face. Several weeks pass and I notice the neighbor painted over my "colorful" fence. ...several unplesantries ensued. I when ahead and repainted MY "colorful" fence and warned him not to touch MY fence again. Several years pass and he finally built a new fence on his side of the property line.

My advise, keep it civil and don't get ridiculous just for the sake of being "right". You will appreciate a good relationship with your neighbors in the long run although it might be difficult to see it now.

Got Juice? · #20 08-20-2010, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duramaximos

Interesting...just a word advise based on my experience.

I don't have any issues with someone not contributing to the costs of a common fence. What I do take issue with is someone pushing to have the fence put entirely on the opposite side of their property line.

I had a neighbor once who pulled this exact same thing on me.
I explained to him that if I put the fence entirely on my side of the line I wouldn't even have enough space to roll a wheel barrow or a lawn mower! He smuggly told me to stuff it. So I proceeded to build the fence entirely on my side of the line. Not being one to take **** from anyone I went to a nearby firestation and asked if they would donate to me several random gallons of paint that had been turned in.... I go home and start painting the opposite side of MY fence several shades of green, pink, brown, blue, and yellow.

You should have seen his face. Several weeks pass and I notice the neighbor painted over my "colorful" fence. ...several unplesantries ensued. I when ahead and repainted MY "colorful" fence and warned him not to touch MY fence again. Several years pass and he finally built a new fence on his side of the property line.

My advise, keep it civil and don't get ridiculous just for the sake of being "right". You will appreciate a good relationship with your neighbors in the long run although it might be difficult to see it now.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Got pics? We'd love to see that fence!!!!!

nick0danger · #21 08-20-2010, 06:25 PM

My Neighbor just painted his side of my fence, too bad that i had to replace several boards cause they looked like crap, i guess he will have to paint again, as for me the look a treated lumber is just fine for me.

Ruger1022 · #22 08-20-2010, 06:31 PM

Well I just arrived home and sure enough there are holes drilled in my yard. I am ready to tell this guy where to go real quick..My yard is uneven and not even graded.

PS I just seen a story on homestead on the TV, kiss homestead goodby..

Ken07AOVette · #23 08-20-2010, 06:35 PM

He drilled holes on your property? YOUR taxes will be affected.

TELL HIM TO !!!
For a fee I will do it for you.

(a beer)

Ya, it was one of those days for me too.

Sneeze · #24 08-20-2010, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rugatika

I'd pay the 1250 and give him a hand. Sounds like a good neighbour (if maybe a little ambitious and pushy). If I was planning on staying there I'd rather be out 1250 and have a good neighbour and a good fence. There's legal obligation and then there's right. If you can't afford it right now...tell him you got other expenses but would be happy to help out if he delays it or can wait for payment.

X2. If its out of your budget tell him that you will help him build the fence for sure, but you won't be able to pay your half until .... date. I am sure he would be cool floating you for a year while you save up enough to pay him back.

walking buffalo · #25 08-20-2010, 07:32 PM

Ruger1022,

What is the fence design like, finished on both sides or framing on one side, finished boards on the other?

Many community bylaws state that the finished side must face out of the property. His fence, good side faces your property.

Check your local by-laws.

Goater · #26 08-20-2010, 07:35 PM

When we did our fences the one neighbour told us flat out out
"I'm not paying for any fencing and I'm not going to help build any it"
and then he asked
"But can you put a gate in so my kids don't have to walk around the block to play"

what a goof!!!!
Ruger1022 ---You better clue the guy in real fast!!!!

project240 · #27 08-20-2010, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duramaximos

Interesting...just a word advise based on my experience.

I don't have any issues with someone not contributing to the costs of a common fence. What I do take issue with is someone pushing to have the fence put entirely on the opposite side of their property line.

I had a neighbor once who pulled this exact same thing on me.
I explained to him that if I put the fence entirely on my side of the line I wouldn't even have enough space to roll a wheel barrow or a lawn mower! He smuggly told me to stuff it. So I proceeded to build the fence entirely on my side of the line. Not being one to take **** from anyone I went to a nearby firestation and asked if they would donate to me several random gallons of paint that had been turned in.... I go home and start painting the opposite side of MY fence several shades of green, pink, brown, blue, and yellow.

You should have seen his face. Several weeks pass and I notice the neighbor painted over my "colorful" fence. ...several unplesantries ensued. I when ahead and repainted MY "colorful" fence and warned him not to touch MY fence again. Several years pass and he finally built a new fence on his side of the property line.

My advise, keep it civil and don't get ridiculous just for the sake of being "right". You will appreciate a good relationship with your neighbors in the long run although it might be difficult to see it now.

Haha. Too funny. I'd also love to see those pics.

Ken07AOVette · #28 08-20-2010, 08:05 PM

It was actually smart and sneaky of him to put the fence on your property, it will show as an improvement and raise your taxes. Darkaisling will confirm that.

ram crazy · #29 08-20-2010, 08:37 PM

When I put up my new fence a couple years ago I asked the neighbour if he would pay for half the fence and he said that we didn't need a fence, so I just made sure it was on my property and he had no say on what I did. If you can't afford it just tell him no!! If the fence is on your property and he wants to pay for it great then power to him and legally he couldn't do nothing about it after it's up and you could do whatever you wanted to the fence.

Reeves1 · #30 08-20-2010, 08:53 PM

Could be worse.......you could have had Tree Guy for a neighbor !

Within six months you would have developed a nervous tick when in your back yard