Has anyone ever gone through an uncontested divorce?

gunnargsd · #1 11-27-2019, 03:05 PM

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

AndrewM · #2 11-27-2019, 03:10 PM

Sooner you/they get a signed separation agreement the better. Emotions and lawyers get their hand in there and everything will change in a hurry. Even if uncontested the divorce will take time as our court system is very slow.

Mb-MBR · #3 11-27-2019, 03:20 PM

You will each have to hire your own lawyer and triple dog agree with your ex not to fall for promises from her lawyer that he can get her more out of you.... and you dont fall for your lawyer's statement that he can offer you more protection! DAMHIK

HVA7mm · #4 11-27-2019, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnargsd

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

Yes I did, about 20 years ago. We were young at the time, no kids/property and very few mutual assets. I retained a lawyer and had the paperwork drawn up, the papers were served, signed by her and it was a done deal. Elapsed time was less than a year. I think that the total cost was under $1000 for me at that time (minus all of the material stuff I left behind), so we didn't put any lawyers' kids through university. Didn't bother with drawing up a legal separation, as I was advised by my lawyer that it wasn't worth the money it was printed on.

Worked out well for both of us, as it was done before we truly resented and hated each other. She re-married about a year later, i did the same 5 years after that. Would still probably be able to have a good conversation if we bumped into one another.

AndrewM · #5 11-27-2019, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HVA7mm

Didn't bother with drawing up a legal separation, as I was advised by my lawyer that it wasn't worth the money it was printed on.

More hurdles you can put in the way of them changing their mind the better. Costs them a pile of money if they decide to fight it. You can get a divorce without a separation of assets but you leave yourself wide open for 2 years after the divorce is granted.
Cannot get a divorce until you have been separated for a year. A lot can change in a year.

Talking moose · #6 11-27-2019, 04:10 PM

I did 15 years ago. Sold everything did the 50/50 signed divorce papers and we both sailed off into the sunset. That being said I knew her from childhood, we both from the same small town, and our families know each other. One screwing the other over wasn’t in the books.

KegRiver · #7 11-27-2019, 05:13 PM

I chose not to contest my divorce. I believe I did the right thing, for the kids sake. But for me it meant years of misery.

It turned out that without a court settlement, I had no recourse when CPS took every last dime I was earning and left me and my son destitute one Christmas.

They also took my only means of making a living and then demanded payment if full even though I was unemployed, couldn't be employed thanks to them and was only $200 and two weeks behind.
If not for generous relatives I would have been sent to jail, not because I refused to pay but because I had no means of earning a living for me and my son, much less making payments for a child had not contact with, and not by my choice.

Yes, I took one and she took one, but I was the only one that had to pay child maintenance, because I had not contested the divorce.

The bottom line, I still believe that when children are involved a no contest divorce is the only reasonable option if at all possible. But it'll cost you big time.

Whatever your friend does, go to court, plead no contest if he wishes and he should be okay.
But never never never agree on anything outside of court. CPS will bleed him to death if there are kids involved.

Even if there are no kids involved, never underestimate the power of radial feminism in government.
Protect yourself, get a real judges signature on your divorce papers.

Without it, the radical feminists will believe everything your X says and back her every move while labeling everything you say, a lie and blocking your every move, and they have the same authority as a court.

CPS is misnamed. It should be called rabid feminism incorporated.

Talking moose · #8 11-27-2019, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KegRiver

I chose not to contest my divorce. I believe I did the right thing, for the kids sake. But for me it meant years of misery.

It turned out that without a court settlement, I had no recourse when CPS took every last dime I was earning and left me and my son destitute one Christmas.

They also took my only means of making a living and then demanded payment if full even though I was unemployed, couldn't be employed thanks to them and was only $200 and two weeks behind.
If not for generous relatives I would have been sent to jail, not because I refused to pay but because I had no means of earning a living for me and my son, much less making payments for a child had not contact with, and not by my choice.

Yes, I took one and she took one, but I was the only one that had to pay child maintenance, because I had not contested the divorce.

The bottom line, I still believe that when children are involved a no contest divorce is the only reasonable option if at all possible. But it'll cost you big time.

Whatever your friend does, go to court, plead no contest if he wishes and he should be okay.
But never never never agree on anything outside of court. CPS will bleed him to death if there are kids involved.

Even if there are no kids involved, never underestimate the power of radial feminism in government.
Protect yourself, get a real judges signature on your divorce papers.

Without it, the radical feminists will believe everything your X says and back her every move while labeling everything you say, a lie and blocking your every move, and they have the same authority as a court.

CPS is misnamed. It should be called rabid feminism incorporated.

Like I said, we had a kid involved, verbal agreement on child support and never heard a peep from the government.
But she’s a pretty cool woman and friend.
I wouldn’t advise it but my circumstances were different than most.

3blade · #9 11-27-2019, 08:15 PM

First up: protect yourself - guns, money (all of it, out of any domestic bank) gear, any keepsakes you don’t want to part with in a safe place she can’t access and doesn’t know about. The royal gestapo loves stealing guns from guys going through a divorce.

Change locks on the house and vehicle, make sure it’s parked inside.

Then you can talk about lawyers and paperwork

sweld · #10 11-29-2019, 08:27 PM

When I got divorced round 2000 my lawyer was just charging the crap out of me but nothing was going anywhere. Anyways I took her to taxation. It’s where a independent lawyer views the case and questions them about there charges all that stuff. She was charging me 2 bux a page for faxes he knocked it down to 25 cents. In the end she sent me a bill for 5000 dollars. The independent lawyer quashed that and I walked away. But still had to hire a new lawyer. About a year later I heard she filed for bankruptcy

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Rastus · #11 11-30-2019, 07:53 AM

I DID!!!!! As possible a uncontested divorce as possible. All of a sudden the lawyer I had was the T's are not crossed, therefore it went back to her lawyer, who crossed the T's, and then the i where not doted, cain't have that. And then the papers would go back. I paid and she contested it and got some of her money back. My lawyer went on to be a high financal criminal lawyer, her's went to be a alright guy, OH WELL!!!! at least he could spell. Don't let the lawyer screw you around the way mine did.

303carbine · #12 11-30-2019, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnargsd

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

Don't get married, no contest.

thumper · #13 11-30-2019, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnargsd

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

My divorce was just like that. The lawyers got ready for a fight, my wife and I left the room, made an amiable agreement, went back in and we both told our lawyers what to do. Both lawyers told each of us that we were making a big mistake, but we stuck to our guns and never regretted it. Quick, clean, fair and relatively inexpensive.

We've remained friends, initially I helped her out a little financially in educational courses to get her on her feet again and over the years we both have provided encouragement to each other and stay in touch - directly and through old mutual friends. We split almost 40 years ago and still respect each other and stay in touch. At one time, we loved each other very much, in some ways, we still do.

bobtodrick · #14 11-30-2019, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thumper

My divorce was just like that. The lawyers got ready for a fight, my wife and I left the room, made an amiable agreement, went back in and we both told our lawyers what to do. Both lawyers told each of us that we were making a big mistake, but we stuck to our guns and never regretted it. Quick, clean, fair and relatively inexpensive.

We've remained friends, initially I helped her out a little financially in educational courses to get her on her feet again and over the years we both have provided encouragement to each other and stay in touch - directly and through old mutual friends. We split almost 40 years ago and still respect each other and stay in touch. At one time, we loved each other very much, in some ways, we still do.

Perfect.
Same with me...sometimes we just make better friends than couples.

CptnBlues63 · #15 12-02-2019, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gunnargsd

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

My divorce 25 yr's or so back was uncontested. She had already given me custody of my son just before he turned two (more like dumped him on me so she could run wild and free.......lol........whatever, I was very happy about it and raised him all alone for most of a decade) and we had been living separate for a year or so.

I didn't take anything when I left except my clothes and car. I left her in AB and moved to Vancouver. She moved back to SK shortly after that and year later when I returned to SK I told her she was going to file (you had to be living in province for a year to file) on the grounds of irreconcilable differences or I would in a year on the ground of adultery. She filed. It went through with no hassle. It's worth noting I didn't ask for child support or anything from her and since we'd already divided physical assets. It was swift and painless.

omega50 · #16 12-02-2019, 12:14 PM

Like many before me I initially intended to have an amicable split to save time and expense and pain. But as we worked our agreement, her friends became Arm Chair Lawyers and started pushing her to ask for more and telling her was getting ripped off. I made the mistake of trying to be the nice guy and leaving while her and the kids continued to live in the house which I had already paid off.
So, I had the additional burden of finding a place to live at my expense-she moved in room mates-a friend and a sister and started charging them rent to live in the house I had bought and paid for. So she was generating about 2k a month in additional income and not reporting it and keeping that fact from me.

So after 5 years of this bull poop and her rejecting every offer, I sued for occupancy rent, which was the impetus for her to finally settle.

Do it right the first time.
Get a nasty lawyer and hit her hard.

Stinky Buffalo · #17 06-04-2020, 08:42 AM

Have a good friend who is going through a collaborative divorce.

All is good and fine until one party starts to get weird about it. In this case, I quite sure that she is getting bad advice from some of her friends. I think in this case she was led to beleive that she would make out a lot better than she will once the separation of assets is complete.

W921 · #18 10-07-2020, 07:18 AM

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

Tfng · #19 10-07-2020, 07:30 AM

W921 it sounds like you should lean on and talk to friend. I’ve recently separated myself.

Otherwise accept it and start making a new plan. You don’t really want to be with her now anyway do you?

AndrewM · #20 10-07-2020, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W921

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

I am so sorry to hear this. Remember the most important people in your life need you now more than ever: your children. Be there for them. Be there together and you will get through it. Depending on your income you may be able to get legal aid. Also if she left the children you would be entitled to child support as well pending your children's age. Take it one day at a time and try to avoid looking at the everything together as it will be overwhelming. You will get through this and you will eventually look back on it as the best thing that ever happened to you.

AndrewM · #21 10-07-2020, 07:38 AM

Legally you can start a separation agreement. She could deliver you the divorce papers at any time but you need to be legally separated for a year and have child custody and finances settled before you can file for divorce. Until then you really don't have to do much if you cannot get a hold of her. Finances aren't that difficult. You write down all your assets and all your debt and split it in the middle. Inheritances and anything prior to the marriage isn't included.

Dynamic · #22 10-07-2020, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by W921

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

Sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how tough that would be. But as tough as it is remember there will be a time when you come out the other side. Feel the pain now and realize it is genuine and real but don't stay in that place too long. It will come in waves but remain strong and think about the future.

When your feeling up to it and can stay focused start finding a lawyer. I don't remember my retaining fee but it sure wasn't 5k. Even before consulting a lawyer just create a very simple hand written page and create of list of stuff you need to do. Child support, bank accounts, RRSP's, shared assets.........figure out exactly where you are now and where you need to be and the end of it. Get in the drivers seat of this situation because waiting for a letter in a year will hurt all over again. Think of it as ripping off a Band-Aid now so you can start to build a better future.

One more tip, document everything! Especially if she just got up and left you and the kids. Document and keep organized and focused! Hoping for the best for you.