|
01-13-2014, 09:18 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,072
|
|
Things you do NOT want to hear at your own funeral
I watched an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys, where they had a living funeral for GrandDad. Of course only the immediate family knew he had not passed.
I thought of these after watching it, add your own
Imagine hearing stuff like:
'And he never did find out the children were not his'
'We are all amazed and astounded at what he actually made of his life, considering his disability"
'Mary told me just the week before Jack's accident she had found true love, just didn't know how to tell Jack, and then the truck blew up mysteriously'
'we wanted to tell him about the 11 million dollars hidden in the basement, but were waiting until his next birthday'
|
01-13-2014, 09:32 PM
|
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 69
|
|
I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"
|
01-13-2014, 09:35 PM
|
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Copperhead Road, Morinville
Posts: 19,290
|
|
At weddings, old people are always telling young people, "You're next."
Young people should say the same thing to old people at funerals.
|
01-13-2014, 10:22 PM
|
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 3,378
|
|
"Too bad we found the cure the day after he died"
|
01-13-2014, 11:40 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Red Deer
Posts: 4,998
|
|
He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.
__________________
I'm not saying I'm the man, but it's been said.
|
01-13-2014, 11:42 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Calgary
Posts: 3,859
|
|
**I'm pretty sure you won't hear anything at your own funeral
|
01-13-2014, 11:49 PM
|
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Rycroft
Posts: 21,548
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by 220swifty
He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.
|
|
01-14-2014, 12:07 AM
|
Banned
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Copperhead Road, Morinville
Posts: 19,290
|
|
Let's make a pinata out of him!
|
01-14-2014, 12:07 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,999
|
|
"I came to make sure he's really dead!"
"There were times when he could be nice to be around."
"It's too bad his life insurance policy had just been cancelled after he had paid into it for 19.5 years"
|
01-14-2014, 12:44 AM
|
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,006
|
|
At my funeral i want to hear...
Hey look he is moving....
__________________
The problem with following the masses is that the M is silent...
In order to be a smart azz, you have to be smart otherwise you are just an azz.
You're offended.... I think it is funny and that is why I am happier than you.
|
01-14-2014, 12:53 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Fort Sask, AB
Posts: 4,910
|
|
Would not want to hear..
" Thanks to the 10-12 of you for coming "
TBark
|
01-14-2014, 01:52 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,627
|
|
At my funeral I wouldn't want to hear..
"Damn, we forgot the shovels!"
Or
"Look dear... they forgot to take the Costco price tag off of the casket."
Last edited by Red Bullets; 01-14-2014 at 01:59 AM.
|
01-14-2014, 05:13 AM
|
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Brooks
Posts: 2,242
|
|
garage sale
My wife planning a garage sale for some of my collections.
__________________
"a gun without hammers is like a spaniel without ears!"
|
01-14-2014, 07:09 AM
|
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: GP
Posts: 575
|
|
*crickets...*
Similar to TBark...
I wouldn't want to hear 'silence' because no one cared to bother to show up.
Jeez! You'd think they'd atleast show up for the afterparty...
Roast pig, beer keg, baked beans, potato salad...
__________________
A man who lives by hunting cherishes the land. He cherishes his way of life and appreciates what he gets from the land. Sam Blacksmith, 1973.
|
01-14-2014, 07:12 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: airdrie
Posts: 5,211
|
|
will there be the chicken dance at the wake
__________________
------------------------------------------------------------
LIFE IS TOUGH.....TOUGHER IF YOU'RE STUPID.-------------------“Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home”
|
01-14-2014, 10:46 AM
|
|
Moderator
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: A bit North o' Center...
Posts: 11,113
|
|
...my wife saying, "NEXT!"
|
01-14-2014, 10:59 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: On an agitated planet
Posts: 665
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeanH
I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"
|
Good one I'll probably come back as a ghost to haunt the new owner tho, I'd be so ****ed off*!
|
01-14-2014, 11:08 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,491
|
|
You know how they send you home with cake from a wedding!
How about sending the mourners home with a small vial of your ashes with a personalized note. "Thanks for attending on my special day"
__________________
You're only as good as your last haircut
Last edited by omega50; 01-14-2014 at 11:14 AM.
|
01-14-2014, 11:40 AM
|
|
Gone Hunting
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Between Bodo and a hard place
Posts: 20,168
|
|
"Finally"
__________________
I'm not lying!!! You are just experiencing it differently.
It isn't a question of who will allow me, but who will stop me.. Ayn Rand
|
01-15-2014, 08:16 AM
|
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Just North of the 55th Parallel
Posts: 1,477
|
|
I've told my loved ones that I don't want anything to do with Amazing Grace at my funeral or I'd be back to haunt them ;p
I simply don't want phony people at my funeral pretending to grieve. If they weren't part of my life while I'm alive, I don't want them pretending to care I'm gone when I die.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:16 AM.
|