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Old 01-13-2014, 09:18 PM
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Ken07AOVette Ken07AOVette is offline
 
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Talking Things you do NOT want to hear at your own funeral

I watched an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys, where they had a living funeral for GrandDad. Of course only the immediate family knew he had not passed.
I thought of these after watching it, add your own


Imagine hearing stuff like:

'And he never did find out the children were not his'

'We are all amazed and astounded at what he actually made of his life, considering his disability"

'Mary told me just the week before Jack's accident she had found true love, just didn't know how to tell Jack, and then the truck blew up mysteriously'

'we wanted to tell him about the 11 million dollars hidden in the basement, but were waiting until his next birthday'
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:32 PM
SeanH SeanH is offline
 
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I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:35 PM
HunterDave HunterDave is offline
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At weddings, old people are always telling young people, "You're next."

Young people should say the same thing to old people at funerals.
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Old 01-13-2014, 10:22 PM
ali#1 ali#1 is offline
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"Too bad we found the cure the day after he died"
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Old 01-13-2014, 11:40 PM
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He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.
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Old 01-13-2014, 11:42 PM
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**I'm pretty sure you won't hear anything at your own funeral
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Old 01-13-2014, 11:49 PM
bb356 bb356 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 220swifty View Post
He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.
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Old 01-14-2014, 12:07 AM
HunterDave HunterDave is offline
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Let's make a pinata out of him!
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Old 01-14-2014, 12:07 AM
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"I came to make sure he's really dead!"

"There were times when he could be nice to be around."

"It's too bad his life insurance policy had just been cancelled after he had paid into it for 19.5 years"
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Old 01-14-2014, 12:44 AM
Dr. Phil A Dr. Phil A is offline
 
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At my funeral i want to hear...

Hey look he is moving....
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Old 01-14-2014, 12:53 AM
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Would not want to hear..
" Thanks to the 10-12 of you for coming "

TBark
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Old 01-14-2014, 01:52 AM
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Red Bullets Red Bullets is offline
 
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At my funeral I wouldn't want to hear..

"Damn, we forgot the shovels!"

Or

"Look dear... they forgot to take the Costco price tag off of the casket."

Last edited by Red Bullets; 01-14-2014 at 01:59 AM.
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  #13  
Old 01-14-2014, 05:13 AM
oldgutpile oldgutpile is offline
 
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Default garage sale

My wife planning a garage sale for some of my collections.
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Old 01-14-2014, 07:09 AM
gpgriz gpgriz is offline
 
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Default *crickets...*

Similar to TBark...

I wouldn't want to hear 'silence' because no one cared to bother to show up.

Jeez! You'd think they'd atleast show up for the afterparty...
Roast pig, beer keg, baked beans, potato salad...
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Old 01-14-2014, 07:12 AM
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will there be the chicken dance at the wake
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:46 AM
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...my wife saying, "NEXT!"
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  #17  
Old 01-14-2014, 10:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeanH View Post
I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"
Good one I'll probably come back as a ghost to haunt the new owner tho, I'd be so ****ed off*!
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Old 01-14-2014, 11:08 AM
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You know how they send you home with cake from a wedding!

How about sending the mourners home with a small vial of your ashes with a personalized note. "Thanks for attending on my special day"
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Last edited by omega50; 01-14-2014 at 11:14 AM.
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  #19  
Old 01-14-2014, 11:40 AM
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"Finally"
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Old 01-15-2014, 08:16 AM
Sporty Sporty is offline
 
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I've told my loved ones that I don't want anything to do with Amazing Grace at my funeral or I'd be back to haunt them ;p

I simply don't want phony people at my funeral pretending to grieve. If they weren't part of my life while I'm alive, I don't want them pretending to care I'm gone when I die.
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