Things you do NOT want to hear at your own funeral

[Ken07AOVette]

I watched an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys, where they had a living funeral for GrandDad. Of course only the immediate family knew he had not passed.
I thought of these after watching it, add your own


Imagine hearing stuff like:

'And he never did find out the children were not his'

'We are all amazed and astounded at what he actually made of his life, considering his disability"

'Mary told me just the week before Jack's accident she had found true love, just didn't know how to tell Jack, and then the truck blew up mysteriously'

'we wanted to tell him about the 11 million dollars hidden in the basement, but were waiting until his next birthday'

[SeanH]

I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"

[Fredo]

Originally Posted by SeanH

I fear I will hear
"And I sold all his guns for what he told me he paid for them"

Good one I'll probably come back as a ghost to haunt the new owner tho, I'd be so ****ed off*!

[omega50]

You know how they send you home with cake from a wedding!

How about sending the mourners home with a small vial of your ashes with a personalized note. "Thanks for attending on my special day"

[Redfrog]

"Finally"

[HunterDave]

At weddings, old people are always telling young people, "You're next."

Young people should say the same thing to old people at funerals.

[ali#1]

"Too bad we found the cure the day after he died"

[220swifty]

He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.

[The Fisherman Guy]

**I'm pretty sure you won't hear anything at your own funeral

[bb356]

Originally Posted by 220swifty

He smells better now than he ever did when he was living.

[HunterDave]

Let's make a pinata out of him!

[BlackHeart]

"I came to make sure he's really dead!"

"There were times when he could be nice to be around."

"It's too bad his life insurance policy had just been cancelled after he had paid into it for 19.5 years"

[Sporty]

I've told my loved ones that I don't want anything to do with Amazing Grace at my funeral or I'd be back to haunt them ;p

I simply don't want phony people at my funeral pretending to grieve. If they weren't part of my life while I'm alive, I don't want them pretending to care I'm gone when I die.