Go Back   Alberta Outdoorsmen Forum > Main Category > General Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #91  
Old 06-23-2017, 10:24 AM
walking buffalo's Avatar
walking buffalo walking buffalo is online now
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10,208
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 58thecat View Post
Your right it's not comfortable, it's not understandable, there are no answers, only questions...why?


While reading the thread I multi-quoted a half dozen posts to highlight answers and important revelations required for understanding.

I removed them for now as they truly deserve to be addressed independently so as to give each one the attention deserved.


This has been an incredible and potentially life saving thread.

Closing it would help no one other than those who desire to remain ignorant of the problem.
__________________
Alberta Fish and Wildlife Outdoor Recreation Policy -

"to identify very rare, scarce or special forms of fish and wildlife outdoor recreation opportunities and to ensure that access to these opportunities continues to be available to all Albertans."
Reply With Quote
  #92  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:16 PM
Norwest Alta Norwest Alta is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,666
Default

I do understand were bb was coming from and to a point agree with him. If a person comes to a point mentally and physically that they don't want to carry on who are we to say they must. Maybe if it wasn't such a taboo subject they thought of suicide might be understood more. It seems to occur in all walks of life and people are imo embarrassed to talk about their perceived problems.
Reply With Quote
  #93  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:25 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Norwest Alta View Post
I do understand were bb was coming from and to a point agree with him. If a person comes to a point mentally and physically that they don't want to carry on who are we to say they must. Maybe if it wasn't such a taboo subject they thought of suicide might be understood more. It seems to occur in all walks of life and people are imo embarrassed to talk about their perceived problems.
He always struck me as a decent fellow, but laughing and mocking on a thread such as this is inappropriate. He was warned and continued. We also don't know what was said behind the scenes. We don't run this forum. Why is anyone surprised?
Reply With Quote
  #94  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:27 PM
raised by wolves raised by wolves is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,277
Default

I am torn on the matter. I feel we need to support those under stress, whether it is a mental illness or overwhelming life issues.

But, I understand the act of taking control and ending things on one's own terms. A buddy of mine had a terminal diagnosis and his body was slowly shutting down. Lots of pain and suffering. Although it hurt his family, I respected his decision.

From my own experience after a major injury, I contemplated ending things. It was tough. Brutally chronic, physical pain and the possibility of never walking again. I had a plan, but kept going because of my wife.
Reply With Quote
  #95  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:31 PM
Norwest Alta Norwest Alta is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,666
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sns2 View Post
He always struck me as a decent fellow, but laughing and mocking on a thread such as this is inappropriate. He was warned and continued. We also don't know what was said behind the scenes. We don't run this forum. Why is anyone surprised?
I must of read different posts or interpreted it different. I do know that he is very real in his thoughts on suicide.
Reply With Quote
  #96  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:34 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

You must have. He was openly mocking Kurt, and drawing analogied between suicide and shooting a fawn

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #97  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:36 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

Again, he was warned and continued. This is not our forum, and we don't know exactly what happened. We only see one part.

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #98  
Old 06-23-2017, 12:37 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

I am not for a second saying he was a bad egg. I chatted with him via pm that morning, but he took it way too far. The thread was about how to deal with a grieving boy who lost his dad. Arguments in this thread were offside. I am glad it was changed to suspension.

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk

Last edited by sns2; 06-23-2017 at 12:47 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #99  
Old 06-23-2017, 01:03 PM
Kurt505 Kurt505 is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Communist state
Posts: 13,245
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Norwest Alta View Post
I do understand were bb was coming from and to a point agree with him. If a person comes to a point mentally and physically that they don't want to carry on who are we to say they must. Maybe if it wasn't such a taboo subject they thought of suicide might be understood more. It seems to occur in all walks of life and people are imo embarrassed to talk about their perceived problems.
Like sns2 said, I don't think his views on the subject should not be a part of the conversation, but the way he put it, wether he was joking or not, will definitely have a negative impact on someone that is going through a rough time in their life. He might be tough and grizzled but there are people reading this thread right now that aren't. Some of his comments were overboard.

I just saw on the news about a week or two ago where a girl in the states has been found guilty and is now waiting on a sentence of up to 20yrs for egging her boyfriend on over the phone when he said he was going to kill himself, then didn't call for help when she knew he did. A 20yr old boy that was love sick.

When I was 19 my girlfriend committed suicide while she was drunk. Less then a year later my friends younger brother committed suicide because of a girl.

These kids weren't looking at a lifetime of sorrow, It wasn't a case of "oh well, they wanted to die so good riddance for all involved". Not all cases are the same, and when someone is in a rough state, in my opinion those kind of comments can make the difference. I'm sure there are some here that would know for sure.

So I have had to deal with suicide in the past, I have experienced what the grieving parent has had to go through, now I am trying to figure out what the best way to deal with a grieving child.

Last edited by Kurt505; 06-23-2017 at 01:11 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #100  
Old 06-23-2017, 01:23 PM
sgill808 sgill808 is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,449
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt505 View Post
Like sns2 said, I don't think his views on the subject should not be a part of the conversation, but the way he put it, wether he was joking or not, will definitely have a negative impact on someone that is going through a rough time in their life. He might be tough and grizzled but there are people reading this thread right now that aren't. Some of his comments were overboard.

I just saw on the news about a week or two ago where a girl in the states has been found guilty and is now waiting on a sentence of up to 20yrs for egging her boyfriend on over the phone when he said he was going to kill himself, then didn't call for help when she knew he did. A 20yr old boy that was love sick.

When I was 19 my girlfriend committed suicide while she was drunk. Less then a year later my friends younger brother committed suicide because of a girl.

These kids weren't looking at a lifetime of sorrow, It wasn't a case of "oh well, they wanted to die so good riddance for all involved". Not all cases are the same, and when someone is in a rough state, in my opinion those kind of comments can make the difference. I'm sure there are some here that would know for sure.

So I have had to deal with suicide in the past, I have experienced what the grieving parent has had to go through, now I am trying to figure out what the best way to deal with a grieving child.
Listen to him. Let him know your there for whatever direction the conversation may go. I remember listening to a grade 4 student talk about suicide, he was reluctant to talk to me because others had not taken him seriously. After spending time with him and hearing his side of things, he was open to allowing others into the situation and we were able to put a safety plan in place. He is going into high school in the fall .

As for anyone thinking of suicide, there is always someone out there who will listen. Here is the phone number for the Distress Center in Calgary 403-266-4357, they are available 24 hours a day.

Here is a link to other important services for those that may need them: https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Pages/Em...e-Numbers.aspx
Reply With Quote
  #101  
Old 06-23-2017, 03:53 PM
waterninja waterninja is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: edmonton
Posts: 11,434
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sns2 View Post
I am not for a second saying he was a bad egg. I chatted with him via pm that morning, but he took it way too far. The thread was about how to deal with a grieving boy who lost his dad. Arguments in this thread were offside. I am glad it was changed to suspension.

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
I don't often agree with this poster, but I do agree with this post.
Reply With Quote
  #102  
Old 06-23-2017, 04:06 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

Mods, can I please edit my post? I don't want the above to become any kind of trend

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #103  
Old 06-23-2017, 05:05 PM
hal53's Avatar
hal53 hal53 is offline
Gone Hunting
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Lougheed,Ab.
Posts: 12,736
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sns2 View Post
Mods, can I please edit my post? I don't want the above to become any kind of trend

Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
__________________
The future ain't what it used to be - Yogi Berra
Reply With Quote
  #104  
Old 06-23-2017, 08:43 PM
birdee's Avatar
birdee birdee is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: edmonton
Posts: 668
Default

i hope the boy is seeing a counselor it may save him and definatly help him.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center found that children who are under 18 when their parents commit suicide are three times as likely as children with living parents to later commit suicide themselves.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/when-a-...atrists-advice
__________________
the more people i meet the better i like my dog
Reply With Quote
  #105  
Old 06-23-2017, 09:01 PM
Norwest Alta Norwest Alta is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,666
Default

I won't or can't speak for bb.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and figure the son is gonna have a lot of questions. Some of which can be answered most of which can't. He might even feel blame. Counselling would be beneficial. In kurts case maybe being a adult friend that he could talk to would help this young fella deal with the flood of emotions he's more than likely going through. I don't think there is a true right answer on what to do but sitting on couch ignoring it won't help him at all.
Reply With Quote
  #106  
Old 06-23-2017, 09:18 PM
Kurt505 Kurt505 is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Communist state
Posts: 13,245
Default

A bit of an update on the situation. My son has been out BMX'ing with him pretty much everyday this week, there is a group of 4-6 of them that always ride together. Tonight they are going to the movies. I had to pick my son up the other night because he was on the other end of the city with them, so when I got close I just kind of covertly parked and watched them ride for a bit. They were smiling and laughing, and genuinely having a good time. It was nice to see, even though I'm sure it's not like that all the time.

It's still pretty fresh but I plan on asking him if he wants to go out fishing or out to the cabin for a weekend of riding the atv's. If I can get us on a weekend we're it's just him my son and myself, it might be a good step in getting him to open up about it.

Thanks for all the advise guys.
Reply With Quote
  #107  
Old 06-23-2017, 09:22 PM
roper1 roper1 is online now
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Strathmore
Posts: 5,573
Default

Good on you for trying to help Kurt!
Reply With Quote
  #108  
Old 06-23-2017, 10:04 PM
Talking moose's Avatar
Talking moose Talking moose is online now
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: McBride/Prince George
Posts: 14,521
Default

I think a good fishing trip or atving around the cabin would be good for the lad.
Reply With Quote
  #109  
Old 06-23-2017, 10:49 PM
JD848 JD848 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,844
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Talking moose View Post
I think a good fishing trip or atving around the cabin would be good for the lad.
x2 And I just read this and KURT it takes a lot of heart to come on here to talk about this topic and I think your a 100 percent stand up guy and admire your courage for doing so.TAKE CARE

RON
Reply With Quote
  #110  
Old 06-24-2017, 12:47 AM
Fur Fur is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 592
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by waterninja View Post
I don't often agree with this poster, but I do agree with this post.
Another thaw in relations!
Reply With Quote
  #111  
Old 06-24-2017, 12:57 AM
Talking moose's Avatar
Talking moose Talking moose is online now
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: McBride/Prince George
Posts: 14,521
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fur View Post
Another thaw in relations!
Go to the antique registration thread.... lol
Reply With Quote
  #112  
Old 06-24-2017, 01:18 AM
waterninja waterninja is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: edmonton
Posts: 11,434
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fur View Post
Another thaw in relations!
It's like rolling a boulder uphill.

Moose is a positive influence

not

AH
Reply With Quote
  #113  
Old 06-24-2017, 06:29 AM
Fur Fur is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 592
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by waterninja View Post
It's like rolling a boulder uphill.

Moose is a positive influence

not

AH
Lol. Sn2 and yourself have agreed on two threads this year, going for a record year! Ill keep my eyes open for the next thaw! And as Moose said it probably wont be in the antique car thread lol.
Reply With Quote
  #114  
Old 06-24-2017, 08:06 AM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fur View Post
lol. Sn2 and yourself have agreed on two threads this year, going for a record year! Ill keep my eyes open for the next thaw! And as moose said it probably wont be in the antique car thread lol.
lol
Reply With Quote
  #115  
Old 06-24-2017, 09:03 AM
58thecat's Avatar
58thecat 58thecat is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: At the end of the Thirsty Beaver Trail, Pinsky lake, Alberta.
Posts: 24,502
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by walking buffalo View Post
While reading the thread I multi-quoted a half dozen posts to highlight answers and important revelations required for understanding.

I removed them for now as they truly deserve to be addressed independently so as to give each one the attention deserved.


This has been an incredible and potentially life saving thread.

Closing it would help no one other than those who desire to remain ignorant of the problem.
Only mentioned to close it as it seemed to be going south like many threads...and I believe no one wants to remain ignorant but sometimes it get mixed up with arrogance which seems to always overtake the other.
__________________

Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 06-24-2017, 09:05 AM
58thecat's Avatar
58thecat 58thecat is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: At the end of the Thirsty Beaver Trail, Pinsky lake, Alberta.
Posts: 24,502
Thumbs up Spot on

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt505 View Post
A bit of an update on the situation. My son has been out BMX'ing with him pretty much everyday this week, there is a group of 4-6 of them that always ride together. Tonight they are going to the movies. I had to pick my son up the other night because he was on the other end of the city with them, so when I got close I just kind of covertly parked and watched them ride for a bit. They were smiling and laughing, and genuinely having a good time. It was nice to see, even though I'm sure it's not like that all the time.

It's still pretty fresh but I plan on asking him if he wants to go out fishing or out to the cabin for a weekend of riding the atv's. If I can get us on a weekend we're it's just him my son and myself, it might be a good step in getting him to open up about it.

Thanks for all the advise guys.
Spot on.
__________________

Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
Reply With Quote
  #117  
Old 06-24-2017, 11:26 AM
Bigwoodsman Bigwoodsman is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 8,269
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt505 View Post
A bit of an update on the situation. My son has been out BMX'ing with him pretty much everyday this week, there is a group of 4-6 of them that always ride together. Tonight they are going to the movies. I had to pick my son up the other night because he was on the other end of the city with them, so when I got close I just kind of covertly parked and watched them ride for a bit. They were smiling and laughing, and genuinely having a good time. It was nice to see, even though I'm sure it's not like that all the time.

It's still pretty fresh but I plan on asking him if he wants to go out fishing or out to the cabin for a weekend of riding the atv's. If I can get us on a weekend we're it's just him my son and myself, it might be a good step in getting him to open up about it.

Thanks for all the advise guys.
Well done sir!

BW
Reply With Quote
  #118  
Old 06-24-2017, 03:55 PM
landowner landowner is offline
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 975
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt505 View Post
A bit of an update on the situation. My son has been out BMX'ing with him pretty much everyday this week, there is a group of 4-6 of them that always ride together. Tonight they are going to the movies. I had to pick my son up the other night because he was on the other end of the city with them, so when I got close I just kind of covertly parked and watched them ride for a bit. They were smiling and laughing, and genuinely having a good time. It was nice to see, even though I'm sure it's not like that all the time.

It's still pretty fresh but I plan on asking him if he wants to go out fishing or out to the cabin for a weekend of riding the atv's. If I can get us on a weekend we're it's just him my son and myself, it might be a good step in getting him to open up about it.

Thanks for all the advise guys.
He may not want to open up about it, but that's alright, just knowing that there is someone who will listen when they are ready is comforting
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 06-24-2017, 05:43 PM
MrDave MrDave is offline
Suspended User
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Innisfail
Posts: 1,073
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurt505 View Post
A bit of an update on the situation. My son has been out BMX'ing with him pretty much everyday this week, there is a group of 4-6 of them that always ride together. Tonight they are going to the movies. I had to pick my son up the other night because he was on the other end of the city with them, so when I got close I just kind of covertly parked and watched them ride for a bit. They were smiling and laughing, and genuinely having a good time. It was nice to see, even though I'm sure it's not like that all the time.

It's still pretty fresh but I plan on asking him if he wants to go out fishing or out to the cabin for a weekend of riding the atv's. If I can get us on a weekend we're it's just him my son and myself, it might be a good step in getting him to open up about it.

Thanks for all the advise guys.
The young fellow will laugh and have fun, but the crashes that follow are the killers. When it see to get too happy, the memories swarm back. Hard. After too many ups and downs, you start to wait for the downs. When they show up again, your not surprised. Then when the bad days pile up into weeks, the good days disappear. Eventually you don't want to struggle.
Remember the funniest guy on the screen. Always making others laugh so no one noticed he was sad. If we didn't expect Robi Williams to give up....
My best suggestion is to enter your cell number into his phone for the young man. It's not right now when he will need help, it's the holidays, the Facebook reminders, strange things that happen to trigger memories.
He can make it through this, but it's tough. He will not be able to get through it without community.
Just be read for the explosion. If it happens, he will need even more help up. I started drink heavily, by the time I was 13. If it's ok for the adults to drink away their problems, why not try.
Unfortunately now the stuff around to self medicate is killing the kids too easily.

Just remember what that hug did for Jamie
Reply With Quote
  #120  
Old 06-24-2017, 05:49 PM
sns2's Avatar
sns2 sns2 is offline
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: My House
Posts: 13,446
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrDave View Post
The young fellow will laugh and have fun, but the crashes that follow are the killers. When it see to get too happy, the memories swarm back. Hard. After too many ups and downs, you start to wait for the downs. When they show up again, your not surprised. Then when the bad days pile up into weeks, the good days disappear. Eventually you don't want to struggle.
Remember the funniest guy on the screen. Always making others laugh so no one noticed he was sad. If we didn't expect Robi Williams to give up....
My best suggestion is to enter your cell number into his phone for the young man. It's not right now when he will need help, it's the holidays, the Facebook reminders, strange things that happen to trigger memories.
He can make it through this, but it's tough. He will not be able to get through it without community.
Just be read for the explosion. If it happens, he will need even more help up. I started drink heavily, by the time I was 13. If it's ok for the adults to drink away their problems, why not try.
Unfortunately now the stuff around to self medicate is killing the kids too easily.

Just remember what that hug did for Jamie
Very good post.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:57 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.