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02-27-2020, 04:37 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,071
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If I hear my name being screamed and find her pointing at a wall floor or corner somewhere at something she doesn't want to kill, she shouts BLUE JOB! BLUE JOB!!!
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought..... 
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02-27-2020, 05:00 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Airdrie
Posts: 2,510
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Been with the wife for 10 yrs and married for 20 and to this day she always says “do you want me to get you beer while I’m out”🤦🤦
After 30 yrs ya think she’d know..
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02-27-2020, 06:10 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 9,606
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I hear " a nice home cooked meal" a lot
Wtf does that mean?
The restaurant has a nice oven/stove/ chef.
So home cooked is healthier? Hardly babe. I grew up with Germans. Everything dough and fried. Id let you ask them for yourself babe, but theyre all DEAD
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02-27-2020, 07:53 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Canmore
Posts: 4,748
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubba 96
Been with the wife for 10 yrs and married for 20 and to this day she always says “do you want me to get you beer while I’m out”🤦🤦
After 30 yrs ya think she’d know..
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Well if you've been married to her for 20 years, but only been with her for 10, she must go out for long periods of time - no wonder she thinks you might get thirsty!
__________________
The world is changed by your action, not by your opinion.
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02-27-2020, 07:58 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Edmonton area
Posts: 1,467
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sillyak
Mine does the "where should we eat" thing.
Mine also hates phoning mechanics, dentists, optometrists or anything like that. Her car was in the shop this week and she wanted an update on when it would be finished, so she phones me at work in the middle of something super important and asks me to phone the shop for an update on HER car.
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Hell, mine won't even order pizza!
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Wherever you go, there you are
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02-27-2020, 08:45 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 9,606
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justfishin73
Hell, mine won't even order pizza!
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Omg my partner is the opposite
I couldnt tell you how much a power bill, water bill, electricity bill is, never made a Dr appointment
I just show up with a discernable heartbeat.
She does all those things so that I can focus on Global Warming, World Peace, and potential asteroid strikes
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02-27-2020, 10:02 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ft. McMurray
Posts: 38,567
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The words I feared most that I have with my wife
Me: " I'm going ( hunting, to the range, etc.)
Her " Whatever"
Me: What's bugging you?"
Her"" NOTHING!" 
Cat
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Anytime I figure I've got this long range thing figured out, I just strap into the sling and irons and remind myself that I don't! 
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02-27-2020, 10:05 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ft. McMurray
Posts: 38,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fisher Gord
Fine, do what you want!!
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Instant regret when you do! 
Cat
__________________
Anytime I figure I've got this long range thing figured out, I just strap into the sling and irons and remind myself that I don't!
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02-27-2020, 10:08 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Camrose
Posts: 2,359
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F%$_@¥÷¥$ you aJs7@*#÷&#,## hzmzksu,t@&@&#*÷*# ahdj7÷£-*;^%&$.
I think it translates to: I just need a minute to collect myself and have a reasonable discussion about issues that may come to light. SAID NO WOMAN EVER!
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02-27-2020, 10:11 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Camrose
Posts: 2,359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catnthehat
The words I feared most that I have with my wife
Me: " I'm going ( hunting, to the range, etc.)
Her " Whatever"
Me: What's bugging you?"
Her"" NOTHING!"
Cat |
'
Yuuuup!. The 'nothing' response is as good as a death sentence.
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02-27-2020, 10:51 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,863
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Quote:
Originally Posted by huntinstuff
Omg my partner is the opposite
I couldnt tell you how much a power bill, water bill, electricity bill is, never made a Dr appointment
I just show up with a discernable heartbeat.
She does all those things so that I can focus on Global Warming, World Peace, and potential asteroid strikes
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You way over focused and over stressing your self way to much, take it easy life is to short.
JD
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02-28-2020, 07:35 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Airdrie
Posts: 2,510
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thumper
Well if you've been married to her for 20 years, but only been with her for 10, she must go out for long periods of time - no wonder she thinks you might get thirsty!
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We were together for 10yrs before we got married,
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02-28-2020, 08:05 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Westerose
Posts: 4,055
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bloopbloob
F%$_@¥÷¥$ you aJs7@*#÷&#,## hzmzksu,t@&@&#*÷*# ahdj7÷£-*;^%&$.
I think it translates to: I just need a minute to collect myself and have a reasonable discussion about issues that may come to light. SAID NO WOMAN EVER!
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I saw a sign outside the local community centre. It said "ESL for Women". I just about died laughing. I always suspected they spoke a different language and there was the proof. 
ARG
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In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sjemac
It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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02-28-2020, 11:04 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 23
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Her, "Do you want to clean the stove please?"
Me, "No not really."
Her, "I told you 2 weeks ago about..."
Me, "Was I looking at you?"
her, "Yes"
me, "Did I respond to you?"
her, "Yes"
me, "Did I have my headphones on?"
her, "  "
Our Son, "Dad wasn't there when you and grandma were talking about it."
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The manager that hired me at my current job said, "Don't worry! We won't throw you to the wolves." 
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02-28-2020, 11:35 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: WMU 402
Posts: 515
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Between 0530-0600:
"Hey hun does your morning alarm need to go off 5 times because you hit snooze?" "Yes, that's how I wake up"
Between 0645-0700:
Next morning she has the day off, I get out of bed. "You pulled the covers off me and woke me up!!"
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02-28-2020, 04:07 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 107
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Wife comes out of the garage with a broom. I ask where's she's flying off too.
Wife bought new vacuum cleaner and comments how dirty the rug was. I said you should have used the old one more often.
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02-28-2020, 07:53 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: 509
Posts: 855
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Wifes favorite sayings include.
What's new on AO.?
Do you really need another gun?
The freezer is getting low.....go hunting
Stop groping my boobs!!
Yes I know my dad warned me about you...dont remind me.
Soooo when we go see my parents bring your tools.
Me. What tools.?
Her. The yellow ones with batterys oh and some screwdrivers.
Me. Why?
Her. Dad needs a hand.
Me.
Her. Love you
Me.
We get to her parents....her dad looks at me like Iam retarded. I say you needed help?
He says no your wife and my wife had a brain fart.
Let's go gopher shooting. 
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03-02-2020, 10:38 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: GP AB
Posts: 16,220
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My wife, yesterday: 'what is cross threaded?'
After I noticed the light fixture over the dining room table was about falling apart, ready to drop onto table. She had taken it apart to clean, and when she had trouble putting the little nut on the threaded pipe....she grabbed ny 12" pump pliers and made it go on. Absolutely mangled everything. I gotta lock up my tools now.
__________________
'Once the monkeys learn they can vote themselves a banana, they'll never climb another tree.'. Robert Heinlein
'You can accomplish a lot more with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone.' Al Capone
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03-02-2020, 11:02 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 9,606
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
My wife, yesterday: 'what is cross threaded?'
After I noticed the light fixture over the dining room table was about falling apart, ready to drop onto table. She had taken it apart to clean, and when she had trouble putting the little nut on the threaded pipe....she grabbed ny 12" pump pliers and made it go on. Absolutely mangled everything. I gotta lock up my tools now.
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Well, it's tight! Lol
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03-02-2020, 03:33 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 371
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catnthehat
The words I feared most that I have with my wife
Me: " I'm going ( hunting, to the range, etc.)
Her " Whatever"
Me: What's bugging you?"
Her"" NOTHING!"
Cat |
all three of my wives did this, Is this not normal?
Uhh wait a minute maybe its me?
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03-03-2020, 12:18 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
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Her:....But I told you!
15 min of arguing later
Her......No, wait....I told your (sister/mother/friend), sorry
FML
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03-03-2020, 06:27 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 295
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Mine used to do the "where do we eat?" thing too...
After 5 suggestions and refusals, I'll pull over and just look at her till she makes up her mind.
I figured out the solution though!!!! Now I ask her "Honey, we're going somewhere awesome for dinner tonight!!! Can you guess where???"
Whatever the first thing out of her mouth is, "Dang!! Good guess!!" and then that's where we go. Works like a charm.
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03-03-2020, 06:34 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: GP AB
Posts: 16,220
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin_r6
Mine used to do the "where do we eat?" thing too...
After 5 suggestions and refusals, I'll pull over and just look at her till she makes up her mind.
I figured out the solution though!!!! Now I ask her "Honey, we're going somewhere awesome for dinner tonight!!! Can you guess where???"
Whatever the first thing out of her mouth is, "Dang!! Good guess!!" and then that's where we go. Works like a charm.
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That sir, is brilliant. Well done. I will use that.
__________________
'Once the monkeys learn they can vote themselves a banana, they'll never climb another tree.'. Robert Heinlein
'You can accomplish a lot more with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone.' Al Capone
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03-03-2020, 07:23 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ft. McMurray
Posts: 38,567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kritz
all three of my wives did this, Is this not normal?
Uhh wait a minute maybe its me?
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You are not alone Brother those are topical female responses!
Cat
__________________
Anytime I figure I've got this long range thing figured out, I just strap into the sling and irons and remind myself that I don't!
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03-04-2020, 04:41 PM
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catnthehat
You are not alone Brother those are topical female responses!
Cat |
You got that right. All 4 of my daughters were using that trick on me before they were 10 years old, each one. And i dont think they learned it from there mother either,they are just hard wired for it.
Hope none of them ever read this
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03-04-2020, 09:28 PM
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Gone Hunting
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Between Bodo and a hard place
Posts: 20,168
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When my ex would start to get wound up over some imaginary transgression I had committed, I would just look her in the eye and say ' you know what your problem is? You need to calm down and avoid the train wreck.
It sure sped things up.
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I'm not lying!!! You are just experiencing it differently. 
It isn't a question of who will allow me, but who will stop me.. Ayn Rand
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03-04-2020, 09:54 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,071
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
That sir, is brilliant. Well done. I will use that.
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Love that one. Been on Facebook for years
__________________
Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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03-05-2020, 06:48 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 57
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But i just told you
You dont use all those guns
Why would you need 11 flishing rods
Another boat ?
Hey,,,exit only!!!
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03-05-2020, 06:50 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Edmonton area
Posts: 1,467
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catnthehat
The words I feared most that I have with my wife
Me: " I'm going ( hunting, to the range, etc.)
Her " Whatever"
Me: What's bugging you?"
Her"" NOTHING!"
Cat |
Thought it was just me!
__________________
Wherever you go, there you are
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03-05-2020, 06:53 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcwilly
Her, "Do you want to clean the stove please?"
Me, "No not really."
Her, "I told you 2 weeks ago about..."
Me, "Was I looking at you?"
her, "Yes"
me, "Did I respond to you?"
her, "Yes"
me, "Did I have my headphones on?"
her, " "
Our Son, "Dad wasn't there when you and grandma were talking about it."
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I actually laughed out loud!, so true, this is a great thread
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