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Old 01-22-2020, 09:16 AM
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Default Things that spouses say

We have things that parents say covered in another thread, so I thought I would start one for spouses.

Mrs ARG and I are watching TV, completely out of the blue she says, "I'm really pleased with how my poodles turned out." I'm thinking, "Poodles? What poodles?" Awkward silence as I try to think of a response.

ARG
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Quote:
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It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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Old 01-22-2020, 09:33 AM
pitw pitw is offline
 
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"It's in the box under"

I don't know if I ever found it
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Old 01-22-2020, 09:35 AM
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Wife--"Are you even listening to me?"
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Old 01-22-2020, 09:38 AM
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Her, out of nowhere “Talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk...talk talk?”

Me, looking up from 6 different maps and harvest data, planning the next hunt - “huh?”

Her:
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Old 01-22-2020, 09:42 AM
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I once said to my wife one time as she was driving ..... "Honey, you know if they put all those potholes in a straight line, you wouldn't have to swerve to hit them."
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Old 01-22-2020, 09:42 AM
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If you get a shower first


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Old 01-22-2020, 10:10 AM
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I hear "I love you anyways.." frequently
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Old 01-22-2020, 10:11 AM
35 whelen 35 whelen is offline
 
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I'm quite lucky my wife's always says when are you going back to work or when are you going fishing

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Old 01-22-2020, 10:12 AM
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Urban Expressions Wheel & Tire Inc
Bay #6, 1303 44th ave NE
Calgary AB, T2E6L5
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Leviticus 23: 4-18: "he that scopeth a lever, or thou allow a scope to lie with a lever as it would lie with a bolt action, shall have created an abomination and shall perish in the fires of Hell forever and ever.....plus GST" - huntinstuff April 07/23
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Old 01-22-2020, 10:20 AM
35 whelen 35 whelen is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tirebob View Post
Classic

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  #11  
Old 01-22-2020, 10:22 AM
Bigwoodsman Bigwoodsman is offline
 
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Why are you using that towel!

BW
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Old 01-22-2020, 10:24 AM
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That things broken again

thing?
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Old 01-22-2020, 10:28 AM
Desert Eagle Desert Eagle is offline
 
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My truck is making a funny sound or acting weird,

Oh okay when did it start,

Oh, last week I think...
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  #14  
Old 01-22-2020, 10:40 AM
Map Maker Map Maker is offline
 
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“ I don’t care if I’m right or wrong, I just want you to agree with me “
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  #15  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:05 AM
glen moa glen moa is offline
 
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Do me.
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  #16  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:18 AM
OL_JR OL_JR is offline
 
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"It's not a race ya know..."
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  #17  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:20 AM
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Do yourself.

Why is it so hot in here?

5 minutes.

Race you to the bedroom.

Wear a sweater if you are cold.

Hands off my boobs. (that's real embarrasing in the theatre lol)

Did you turn the goddamn heat up?
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #18  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:38 AM
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“Something really stinks in here...”
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  #19  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:48 AM
Bigwoodsman Bigwoodsman is offline
 
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All I do around here is clean!

BW
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  #20  
Old 01-22-2020, 12:06 PM
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waldedw waldedw is offline
 
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Wife always say " you never listen to me......" at least that's what I think she said
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Old 01-22-2020, 12:39 PM
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BlackHeart BlackHeart is offline
 
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Her:"Why can't you be more sensitive!?!?" ?(for the 100th time)

Me: "OK"....then do a wimpering whining Woody Allen impression.

Her: "Ugghh...get away from me, you're creeping me out."

Me: "Which would you like?"

Her: "Hmmmp"
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  #22  
Old 01-22-2020, 12:51 PM
Mistagin Mistagin is offline
 
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My wife - often! "Hun, my car needs gas." (She passes at least 2 gas stations on her way back and forth from work.)
Me, "How low is it?"
She, "I don't know. The red light came on a few days ago."
Me, ""
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  #23  
Old 01-22-2020, 01:52 PM
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You're just being You Again.

Grizz
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  #24  
Old 01-22-2020, 02:54 PM
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58thecat 58thecat is offline
 
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Talking

pull my finger...

If your getting up...get me a beer.

Dam I like when you vacuum under the couch on all fours
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Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
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  #25  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 58thecat View Post
pull my finger...

If your getting up...get me a beer.

Dam I like when you vacuum under the couch on all fours
Your spouse says those to you?

I thought you were a guy!
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.


Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #26  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:08 PM
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colvert colvert is offline
 
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Are you deaf??
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  #27  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:16 PM
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Red Bullets Red Bullets is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 58thecat View Post
pull my finger...

If your getting up...get me a beer.

Dam I like when you vacuum under the couch on all fours

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette View Post
Your spouse says those to you?

I thought you were a guy!

His wife is the one with the beard.
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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  #28  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:16 PM
Ronji Ronji is offline
 
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Default Things my wife says to me

You never heard a word I said.
You stink, did you not shower on your last 8 day hunting trip?
You overcooked my steak. I wanted it rare.
WHEN are you going hunting, fishing, again?
Did you **** yourself?
DID something crawl up your ass and die?
You drive like an old man in a mini van.
Tell me why you need another gun? You have 3 safes full of them.
Don’t come home with out a moose!
Can you put gas in my car? And by the way it could use a wash.
Your having another beer? I think you have had way too many.
Do not come near me unless that grey **** gets removed from your face.

She is one of a kind and I love her dearly.
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  #29  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:20 PM
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Red Bullets Red Bullets is offline
 
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When I told my ex I was going fishing one day she retorted back... "You just want to go have fun!"
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
___________________________________________
It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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  #30  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:44 PM
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huntinstuff huntinstuff is offline
 
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"Have you seen my Visa?" (Yup....lots)

"Just chill!"

"I think its rum time for you"

"I'll be back Thursday. Try to behave"

"That quad!!! Get a new one for gods sake. Its embarassing"

"You dead?"
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