Tears

[bloopbloob]

I know I'm being a big baby. But I very recently took a week off for several work deaths I felt some responsibility for. Took today off, laying here unable to sleep, over a suicide. Just surrounded by death and disaster. Too much...

[6.5 shooter]

You can't control the actions of others..

[Zip]

its okay to feel the way you do for all your going through...my advice is too take a few more days, then get back up and going again..I know it sucks to feel that way, but don't let it get ya down for to long...the road back is a very long one.
Stay strong
Zip

[huntinstuff]

It feels like you’re surrounded, but you aren’t.

It feels like it’s too much. But it’s nothing you can’t handle if you take time.

The ratio of good to bad isn’t even comparable. Good far exceeds bad. Always has.

You need time, people and fresh air. All are in abundance waiting for you.

[JD848]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

It feels like you’re surrounded, but you aren’t.

It feels like it’s too much. But it’s nothing you can’t handle if you take time.

The ratio of good to bad isn’t even comparable. Good far exceeds bad. Always has.

You need time, people and fresh air. All are in abundance waiting for you.

X1000 .This is such a good post by Huntinstuff,he is right on the money on every word he wrote.

Stay strong and wish you the best.

JD

[Jamie]

Go talk to someone. It will help. Reaching out here is actually a great sign you are open to it.

Good luck.

[amosfella]

Dude, it's ok to feel what you're feeling. Pain, anger, sorrow, etc... Something that helped me was to hand write a letter telling each person what I felt, wished I had done, etc., and after I was done, burn it as a way of sending it to them. Tears were on the pages, etc.

Heck, for me, I made a special pen to do the writing, that was destroyed when I was done writing those letters. But that's just me.

YMMV

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

It feels like you’re surrounded, but you aren’t.

It feels like it’s too much. But it’s nothing you can’t handle if you take time.

The ratio of good to bad isn’t even comparable. Good far exceeds bad. Always has.

You need time, people and fresh air. All are in abundance waiting for you.

Yup.....plus as you get older your more in tune with death and how valuable life is......so get up....get going....and take living in!

[RZR]

You need to get some help!

[trophybook]

You need to go downtown to the shelters and spend a day with those people and you will be humbled and realize that you don't have it that bad.

[bloopbloob]

Appreciate SOME of the replies. Thank you. Just finding myself suddenly surrounded by misery and death, and moving into a dark place in my mind. I am very much an introvert. I share here to just get it out sometimes. Some of you seem to understand the need for that.

[Albertadiver]

Originally Posted by bloopbloob

Appreciate SOME of the replies. Thank you. Just finding myself suddenly surrounded by misery and death, and moving into a dark place in my mind. I am very much an introvert. I share here to just get it out sometimes. Some of you seem to understand the need for that.

We all experience ebb and flow of moods, and at times things can get pretty dark when we have a lot of pressure or things we are faced with. Glad that you're able to get a bit off your chest so-to-speak. Additional help is available if you feel that is something that would help you.

Try to take a walk in the sun, do something simple that can help you find some calm and see something positive.

[HunterDave]

Carrying around traumatic incidents/memories is like carrying a heavy rucksack. You stow them away in the ruck until it gets too heavy for you to carry on your own. Taking a week off might allow you too rest up a bit but the ruck won't get any lighter. With each incident/memory it just adds to the weight of the ruck. I think that you are at the point where you need help to take issues out of the ruck and lighten the load. Life is so much better when you do.

Fortunately, Edmonton has some great programs to help with this sort of thing. There are a lot of people that are coping with similar issues. I encourage you to take the next step towards healing and look into what is available. Talk to your Doctor about what is going on.

If you can't find anything about these type of programs PM me and I'll find out about them from some Veteran buddies that I know.

[bessiedog]

Yea... dat dark place. It sucks man.

If you want a serious change up.... take little kids fishin or hikin inta the bush.

They are full of life man and they’ll fill you up too.

Or hang out with a doggo for a while. These are very practical serious fixes.

We’re all temps here... do everything you can actively to not spend time thinkin bout it.

Hang in there bub.

[spazzy]

feelings of guilt and the what ifs are a natural process of grieving . just understand that no matter what you did or didn't do the actions of others are ultimately out of your control . I dont think there is a single soul that would look negatively upon you for seeking out grief counselling, and the majority including my self encourage it . as someone who has been through this i say hang in there and go talk to someone I didnt think i needed either but man i sure did .

[Knotter]

I hope you consider accessing the employee assistance program for your company. They are usually at no cost to you and more accessible than other resources. I hope today is better for you and that you find some solace in the woods or next to a stream.

[Deb]

Being an introvert and dealing with grief presents its own set of seemingly impossible hurdles. It's difficult to share your emotions with someone else, yet so easy to think yourself into a deep, dark funk.

You're wise to take some time to process your losses. Be kind to yourself and know that it's okay to grieve in your own way.

Other posters suggested getting some help and, if you're stuck in your grief for much longer, I'd agree, even if it's calling a helpline or joining an online group. For sure, professional help might give you a hand up if things continue to look bleak.

We're here to listen. Know that more than just a few of us have walked the same path.

[Jamie]

Hey Bloop.. Thought I would check in today and see how your feeling.

[Twisted Canuck]

What Huntinstuff and Bessie said is about as good as it gets, I can't add any more wisdom and kindness than that. Other than to say, I've been there as well, and glad I had friends to help get me through it. Good you could post it here, and get some sympathetic ears. It does get better.

[vcmm]

Bloop, Your feelings are normal. Think of the thing in life that makes you the most happy. Reach out and grab what ever it is. Could be your dog,partner,family member. Heck even your favourite you spot. You know the one where you can go and the rest of the world doesn't matter. Look inside yourself you know in your heart what you need to do. We are all here for you and rooting for ya.

[bloopbloob]

Thanks for all the replies. I just think I needed to get it out. It's been 5 deaths in less than a year. Younger people, all under 40. I feel responsible for a couple, and wonder if I could have prevented a few. I'm not one for doctors or dentists or psychiatrists. Like said, very introverted. Keep to myself. Wife had to cut her ex down from a rope. Not a topic I want to bring up with her, as she struggles with the memories as well. I have AOF and I make posts.... Thanks all.

[Knotter]

We’re not the best at this stuff but we’re better than nothing. Hopefully you can work through it in you own quiet way. The more reserved and questioning guys are often the smartest people in the group so don’t be self critical of being an introvert. If we listened more to introverts we might learn something.

I hope you have a better day today and you find something in these threads to get you by. Maybe someone will start a “which pack is better for sheep hunting” thread” and provide some entertainment.

-Knot