Silliest question a non-hunter or angler ever ask you?

[hal53]

Originally Posted by alacringa

It probably is, though by the time I was 13, I'd fallen through the ice enough times to know that it wasn't all frozen.

LOL, true...but u are teaching in Calgary...

[Heron]

I am a fly fisherman. My dear mother-in law who is brilliant in most aspects of her life asked me. "So how do you tie the flys to the hooks?"

[Unregistered user]

Did you catch any deer today?

[Fish along]

I was asked by an adult one time , how do you do you cook your rabbits with that fur on there ? I say well it burns right off over the camp fire lol.

[Whiskey Wish]

Many years ago I was given a female summer student to help me with some pipeline work I was doing. No amount of protesting on my part did any good because she was one of the higher up managements daughters.

She announced the first day that she was a vegan and that meat eating was wrong so I just decided to grit my teeth and tolerate her for two months and not get involved in any discussions. It made for some very boring days at work but fortunately most of it was outdoors in the bush walking pipelines so any day spent in the bush is better than a day at the office.

We saw a fair amount of animals over the course of the summer and one day a nice bull moose walked across the pipeline in front of us. Perhaps it was my staring at the bull that gave me away as a "bad man hunter" but she looked at me and said:

"How would you like it if they had guns and could shoot back at you?"

I told her that would indeed be a game changer. Then I looked at her and said:

"Do you think if they had guns they would stop and ask which one of us was a hunter before they shot at us?"

I'm thinking that perhaps "daddy" wasn't too happy with her either because my boss told me she complained bitterly to her father about having to work with "neanderthals" and having "blisters on her blisters" from walking all day in the bush but he refused to transer her and I had to suffer out the entire 2 1/2 months.

Ahhhh...fond memories of being gainfully employed.
Regards,
Dave.

[gitrdun]

A couple for me as I like to yank gulable people's chain:

A co-worker once asked me what I was hunting for this year.

Me: I've got an austrich tag, for the Porcupine Hills.

He: Wow, I didn't know there were austriches in Alberta.

Me: Sure, we had an exchange program with South Africa, traded them some elk for austriches. Now, they have multiplied and doing well in the Porcupines.

He: What kind of gun do use for that?

Me: Can't use a gun, you gotta run them down and clobber them over the head.

He: Man, that's disgusting.

So, he went on to relay this story to his dad who was executive with DU. His dad's reply: Son, you're a moron!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were going for ice cream in the Crownest Pass. One of my daughter's high school girlfriend tagged along. Driving on Hwy 22 south, we came upon a family of moose, cow and twin calves. This is how the conversation with the girlfriend and I went:

Her: Oh my! look at the moose over there.

Me: Where did you learn to speak English?

Her: What do you mean?

Me: The plural for moose is "meese". You know! mouse, mice, goose, geese.

Her: ooops, sorry.

A few days later after attending school, she came over to visit. The first word out of her mouth to me were "you bastard".

[gitrdun]

Here's another good one:

Years ago, I used to live near Carseland. My younger brother and his friend decided that they would join me for a weekend of migratory bird hunting. So off we went to a tributary of the bow river with the canoe in tow. As we sat in our blind, in the distance we could hear the ducks coming. I instructed my brother and his friend to jump in the canoe and quickly make it to a little island just a short distance away. They ran and jumped in the canoe.

Quickly get across that water and hide the canoe I instructed.

They jumped in. One at each end of the canoe......facing each other. I yelled, hurry up you clowns, but one of you has to turn and face the other way. An argument between them started as to who was in fact facing backwards. This went on for much longer than my patience could endure as the flock was getting nearer.

I yelled at them that they had better make a snappy decision as I surely was going to blow this darned canoe outta the water.

[stuckincity]

I STILL like this.

[Matt L.]

Originally Posted by stuckincity

I STILL like this.

Definitely a classic!

[FishingMOM]

You eat fish from the Detroit?
have you seen any fish with 3 eyes?
How many fish have you caught with 2 tails?

[brie21]

this one happened today while skinning my deer from this weekend. neighbours kids invited themselves over and were asking all sorts of questions,
them: what is that?
me: a deer
them: what do you do with that?
me: i eat it, you know, like steak and roast
them: where is the chicken in it?



friend of mine was leaving for a wedding in Ireland and the original person they had to house sit and make sure cat and dog were happy wasnt able to watch them as planned. we arranged for me to watch the place during the week and buddy to do so on the weekend. since buddy wasnt too trustworthy, my friend who i watch the house for asked that if there was any indication buddy didnt show up for his part (dog potty in the house) if I could not go hunting the next weekend........


one year at halloween we have the normal kids getting candy and all. the door to the street is at the living room where the deer heads and bear rug up on the wall as they always have been. so when the one kid asks "what kind of house IS this?" the correct answer was not "a really old one"

[gilbertslake]

One more than one occasion when wearing stocking foot waders with wading boots I have been asked the question "don't your feet get wet?"
My usual response is either "only when I'm in the water, but the water has to be up to my waist" or "not if I tie the laces tight enough"

[brownbomber]

I saw hilarity. Was getting a oil change in Bonnyville next to the srd yard. A teen girl and her dad were also there. We were milling about by the coffee pot waiting on our vehicles. The girl looks out the window into the srd yard and declares "how do they expect to catch any bears when they warn them". Prominently displayed on the bear traps were all sorts of warnings/cautions etc. The guy pauses for 30 seconds or so and slowly says "you don't think bears can read do you". Hilarious

[Stinky Buffalo]

Originally Posted by Lefty-Canuck

Co-worker..."what did you do this weekend?"

Me..."I went deer hunting"

Co-worker..." Did you catch any?"

Me..."yah I caught two but they were too small so I threw them back, then I killed two different ones because they were in the slot size"

Co-worker..."slot size?....is that measured nose to tail?"

Me..."No ear to ear....you know how hard it is to measure a deer nose to tail...they will kick you!"

Co-worker..."yah that makes sense...."

LC

Sheesh, and here I have been pinching the tail all these years...

[stuckincity]

Originally Posted by brownbomber

I saw hilarity. Was getting a oil change in Bonnyville next to the srd yard. A teen girl and her dad were also there. We were milling about by the coffee pot waiting on our vehicles. The girl looks out the window into the srd yard and declares "how do they expect to catch any bears when they warn them". Prominently displayed on the bear traps were all sorts of warnings/cautions etc. The guy pauses for 30 seconds or so and slowly says "you don't think bears can read do you". Hilarious

Hope its not TOO off-topic, but does anyone remember this?

[Stop Staring at my Rack]

Great stories everyone!!!


A lady came over for coffee, looks up at the deer mounts on the wall by the dining room table.. gets a disgusted look on her face " You killed these?"
I smiled as I replied "yup" She looks at them again, "They were living, breathing animals, and you killed them? She was just horrified..
"Yes I did! Then we ate them."
She sat there looking down at the floor, she was rather pale, I thought she was going to toss her cookies and coffee, then she looked at the deer again. Then with tears in her eyes, her forehead wrinkled, her lips twisted up and she looked at me "You cruel monster!" The hate that flashed in her eyes was just amazing!!!
I guess the fact I started lauging didnt help, she grabbed her sweater slipped on her shoes and stumbled out the door, "You are just cruel!!! I cant believe anyone would have dead animals in their house!!!!"
Sure glad I didnt show her the rest of the house..

[jeffreys 21234]

so one day in laws are over for a bbq and me n wifes step dad chatting n got on topic about backstraps and I say how that's my favorite part while skinning out deer cutting them out and on the q that evening with a cold beer while mother in law pipes up you cant do that is has to be hung for a long time before your abel to eat it or you will get supper sick that's how we did cows on farm asa kid I start laughen and proceed to tell her how that is to age the meat and she proceeded to argue with me that I was wrong me n wife just busting a gut laughing

[Metalmike123]

Originally Posted by gitrdun

We were going for ice cream in the Crownest Pass. One of my daughter's high school girlfriend tagged along. Driving on Hwy 22 south, we came upon a family of moose, cow and twin calves. This is how the conversation with the girlfriend and I went:

Her: Oh my! look at the moose over there.

Me: Where did you learn to speak English?

Her: What do you mean?

Me: The plural for moose is "meese". You know! mouse, mice, goose, geese.

Her: ooops, sorry.

A few days later after attending school, she came over to visit. The first word out of her mouth to me were "you bastard".

Lol you actually made me dribble some beer on my laptop!

[bubba 96]

This happened a couple of weeks ago at badger, buddy is cleaning fish at the cleaning station, and a guy comes up and says hum nice where did ya get those, me and my smart ass mouth look at him and said 3rd combine in the field bout 40 yards up,(lake is right behind us) guy mumbled something and walked away, all I could think of was here's your sign.......lol