Things I Learned From Movies

stuckincity · #1 08-30-2021, 03:02 PM

I'm amazed at how naïve I've always been about the Real World - according to hollywood.

Things I learned from them:

- the average woman is stronger, tougher, faster, smarter, more stoic, and more resourceful than all men

- a blonde/nerd/fat guy/non-white is always the first victim of a monster/serial killer/murderer etc

- the next victims are always a couple having sex in a private or isolated location

- when people are searching a dark spooky place for a monster/serial killer/murderer, they always split up and search separately instead of staying in a group

-outer space is very noisy, and has a Up and Down

- spacecraft are steered like airplanes

- the creepy “nice guy” always wins the woman in the end with his creepy tactics (we call it stalking or harassment, or both)

- a 20-foot long shark can swim in 4 feet of water and never be spotted

- a 40-ton shark can pull a 4000-ton submarine backwards

- a megalodon won’t get sick or die if it swallows gasoline, rubber, fiberglass, wood etc

- an M-16 with a 20-round magazine can fire continuously on full-auto for 10 or 15 minutes without reloading

- when a hero is rushing to the rescue, he always finds a parking space right in front of his destination, any time, any where

- a 400-foot long preying mantis can easily hide in a large city

- the same car will always instantly start over and over again until a monster is approaching, then it won’t start at all

- when a crippled plane is going down and about to crash, it sounds like a Stuka dive-bomber

- when good guys are using the bad guys’ password-protected computers, they just have to type “bypass” instead of the password, and they’ll get in

- an Evil Overlord will always stop and explain himself to the hero, instead of killing him outright when he has him helpless, and gives him a chance to escape

- the hero and/or heroin can outrun an explosion

- Mt. Fuji can be seen from every window in Japan

- also – Big Ben can be seen from every window in London

-when aliens invade Earth, they understand and speak perfect English even though they never seen or heard of Earth before

and a whole bunch of other sh....uh.......stuff.

mediumrare · #2 08-30-2021, 03:20 PM

U put the weed in the coconut and light that s&!t up!

jungleboy · #3 08-30-2021, 03:50 PM

Don’t forget,
a 6 shooter revolver can be fired a minimum of twelve times between reloads
You can always hit your target in one shot after you jump and roll on the ground first
Handguns are perfectly capable of a 100yrd kill shot 60% of the time every time

You can punch anyone of the Cartwright boys in the face repeatedly and it will not phase them , whack em on the back when they aren’t looking and they drop like a stone

Car tires squeal on take off whether they are in the mud , pavement or gravel.

If you don’t have a droll quip to make after defeating the bad guy , you’re doing it wrong

You do not have to be gainfully employed to have a very nice apartment in NYC

If you are gainfully employed you never have to be at work and can spend 90% your time at the local coffee shop or diner

Normal women wake up in the morning with perfect hair and makeup and fresh breath every day.

The weather can change from bright and sunny to nasty rainy and stormy in an instant when the baddies are hiding in the bushes

oilngas · #4 08-30-2021, 03:58 PM

All raptors "cry" like a Red Tail hawk.

bat119 · #5 08-30-2021, 04:09 PM

Don't laugh most of our firearm laws are based on Hollywood movies,

The "silencer" always makes the same Pfft Pifft sound in every movie.

CMichaud · #6 08-30-2021, 04:09 PM

The Riddle of Steel

Moosetalker · #7 08-30-2021, 04:20 PM

No one in control of writing organizing or depicting on whatever show or even a few notable commercials.

They depict everything as if they never expect someone who actually has seen, heard, watched, or done that. To watch the same shows as people who have no clue. There are a few but they are mostly the Exception not the Rule

They really need to stand back and ask an actual knowledgeable person The Question. As in does this smack of Reality ? or Fantasy ?.

Its as if they not realize or care how off-putting it is when a deer or some other native ungulate makes a sound like a mule or even squeal like a rabbit in distress.

For me it can totally spoil what I would otherwise consider an enjoyable show

Biggest pet peeve is when they disable the baddy or one of the baddy's and leave the Gun, Rifle, Knife, Bat whatever within hands reach or just leave it instead of PICKING it up.

stuckincity · #8 08-30-2021, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jungleboy

Don’t forget,
a 6 shooter revolver can be fired a minimum of twelve times between reloads.

In "Old West" tv shows, they just reloaded during the commercials.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jungleboy

Normal women wake up in the morning with perfect hair and makeup and fresh breath every day.

And pre-historic cave-women had shaved legs and armpits.

jungleboy · #9 08-30-2021, 04:58 PM

Ever watch the Murdoch mysteries from woke Canadian TV where in the early 1900s a woman is the chief coroner to the city of Toronto and after she moves up she is replaced by a black woman
Cool fantasy but never in a million yrs.
Waiting for them to rewrite history and give us a woman as the first PM of Canada

Lornce · #10 08-30-2021, 05:10 PM

In a sword fight you clang blades together for about a half hour before trying to stab anyone. Also they never go dull or get nicks.
Guys punch each other in the face back and forth until someone gets bored and knocks the other guy out.
Fully automatic arms are useless against a guy with a pistol.
Space lasers sound like ordinary guns.
Star wars star troopers can't hit the broad side of a barn.
Although Hero's have unlimited ammunition you never see them carry extra clips or bulk ammo.
If you shoot any car it will explode.

Savage Bacon · #11 08-30-2021, 08:04 PM

You can fire handguns, shotguns, AK-47s, ARs, and anything else really, from inside a car. And have no hearing issues whatsoever.

Beeman · #12 08-30-2021, 08:19 PM

An empty gun will go click click click if you keep pulling the trigger.

zims23 · #13 08-30-2021, 08:28 PM

You can drive with a vehicle in park. A lot of driving scenes have the vehicle still in park.

bat119 · #14 08-30-2021, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beeman

An empty gun will go click click click if you keep pulling the trigger.

Then you throw it

Trochu · #15 08-30-2021, 08:42 PM

-After having sex, cover yourself with a blanket in the morning so your partner doesn't see you naked;

-A car door, wooden desk, almost anything really, will stop a bullet;

-In the event of a nuclear blast, hide behind a tree;

-If there are ten of you, and you're attacking someone, be sure to attack one at a time;

-Don't take a hostage, the on-duty officer will almost certainly be able to shoot you in the head, no matter the distance, firearm, or place;

-People care more about a dog dying than other people;and,

-If you're trying to kill someone, and have a gun with them tied up in front of you, you should leave the area and tell your underlings to do it.

Director: He shot him, missed, and hit his son.
Producer: Oh no, then what happen?
Director: He knelt on the ground, cradling his son in his arms as he died.
Producer: Oh, so now that he's stationary, in a prone position on the ground, the professional assassin makes a follow up shot and kills him?
Director: Absolutely not, he missed and immediately left the area.
Producer: Why?
Director: Because the movie isn't over.
Producer: Fair enough.

tri777 · #16 08-30-2021, 08:42 PM

- By simply painting fences, waxing a few cars, you to can win the top trophy at your local Karate tournament
against any black belt.

- If 2 Doberman dogs are attacking you, just bang their two heads together..true lies indeed.

RandyBoBandy · #17 08-30-2021, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Savage Bacon

You can fire handguns, shotguns, AK-47s, ARs, and anything else really, from inside a car. And have no hearing issues whatsoever.

YUP

antmai · #18 08-30-2021, 08:51 PM

Discharging firearms in rooms is hardly a concern for hearing or verbal communication.

Handgun slides always come home in the next scene.

Copper and lead spark.

Almost every vehicle blows up when shot.

All fires have perfectly clear 'smoke'.

24shooter · #19 08-30-2021, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stuckincity

I'm amazed at how naïve I've always been about the Real World - according to hollywood.

Things I learned from them:

- the average woman is stronger, tougher, faster, smarter, more stoic, and more resourceful than all men

- a blonde/nerd/fat guy/non-white is always the first victim of a monster/serial killer/murderer etc

- the next victims are always a couple having sex in a private or isolated location

- when people are searching a dark spooky place for a monster/serial killer/murderer, they always split up and search separately instead of staying in a group

-outer space is very noisy, and has a Up and Down

- spacecraft are steered like airplanes

- the creepy “nice guy” always wins the woman in the end with his creepy tactics (we call it stalking or harassment, or both)

- a 20-foot long shark can swim in 4 feet of water and never be spotted

- a 40-ton shark can pull a 4000-ton submarine backwards

- a megalodon won’t get sick or die if it swallows gasoline, rubber, fiberglass, wood etc

- an M-16 with a 20-round magazine can fire continuously on full-auto for 10 or 15 minutes without reloading

- when a hero is rushing to the rescue, he always finds a parking space right in front of his destination, any time, any where

- a 400-foot long preying mantis can easily hide in a large city

- the same car will always instantly start over and over again until a monster is approaching, then it won’t start at all

- when a crippled plane is going down and about to crash, it sounds like a Stuka dive-bomber

- when good guys are using the bad guys’ password-protected computers, they just have to type “bypass” instead of the password, and they’ll get in

- an Evil Overlord will always stop and explain himself to the hero, instead of killing him outright when he has him helpless, and gives him a chance to escape

- the hero and/or heroin can outrun an explosion

- Mt. Fuji can be seen from every window in Japan

- also – Big Ben can be seen from every window in London

-when aliens invade Earth, they understand and speak perfect English even though they never seen or heard of Earth before

and a whole bunch of other sh....uh.......stuff.

sns2 · #20 08-30-2021, 09:44 PM

Your typical semi auto handgun has a capacity of… oh about 199. More if the gunfight gets serious.

The bad guys are usually pzz poor shots. The good guys are better than Annie Oakley. Always.

Frog · #21 08-30-2021, 09:58 PM

The police officers are able to have perfect groupings and even head shots on the target range but can’t hit a person standing twenty feet away.

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fishtank · #22 08-30-2021, 10:27 PM

Good guy always win in the end ... only in movies

jungleboy · #23 08-30-2021, 10:38 PM

When you are trying to apprehend a suspect at his or her home it is always best to keep the sirens and lights on when you approach so they won’t suspect anything is up

You can have a 15 minute gun battle in the the middle of downtown anywhere and the cops won’t show up until after it’s all over and the baddies are long gone.

The hero can sustain multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and will most likely survive , the villain on the other hand will likely succumb the shot in his right arm.

If you want to make police chief you need to always be at odds with your best detective and it is important to pair him up with someone he hates to bring out the best in him

6.5 shooter · #24 08-30-2021, 10:40 PM

Multiple bad guys can spray the hotel lobby with 10,000 rounds of ammo and never hit the good guys who are repeat ably shooting them between the eyes even as they scale the walls and ceiling like big black spiders.

Certain Hollywood actors can hit the same bad guys while holding TWO full auto SAW's one in each hand and change belts with their teeth... and throw HUGE knives with great accuracy ..

AI 6.5 · #25 08-31-2021, 05:20 AM

TV and movies are entertainment not training films. Nobody ever said they were meant to be accurate.

Sleddawg · #26 08-31-2021, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AI 6.5

TV and movies are entertainment not training films. Nobody ever said they were meant to be accurate.

Hey fun killer, let the guys have a little fun on this thread, most of these people want each other dead in the other kinda popular thread. Lol.

Ackleyman · #27 08-31-2021, 07:39 AM

In most the FBI / cop shows there is some real hotty with killer bod that somehow made detective at 20 years old.......she is a black belt and expert shot

elkhunter11 · #28 08-31-2021, 07:50 AM

When you floor the accelerator while driving on a dirt road, the tires squeal like on asphalt, and when a Ferrari goes over a cliff, the underside looks like a Chevrolet. When the hero fires a handgun with one hand, off of a moving vehicle, he can hit the bad guys every time, but a dozen bad guys with automatic firearms always miss the hero.

bat119 · #29 08-31-2021, 08:23 AM

If you drive a car off a 1000' cliff the motor explodes in midair followed by the gas tank on impact.

58thecat · #30 08-31-2021, 08:55 AM

Funny thing is that many in society take movies as actual can happen and has happen facts…..

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