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01-24-2020, 05:04 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,134
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The old man told me when I was a young buck not to stab anyone in the back until they stab you first. A rule I’ve always lived by.
My parents didn’t teach me this one but the other thing I live by is: Treat me good and I’ll treat you better! Treat me bad and I’ll treat you worse.
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01-24-2020, 05:43 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Deadmonton
Posts: 1,342
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Mom "Cleanliness is next to godliness, if you can't be godly for god's sake be clean"
Dad "That looks like and accident lookin for place to happen"
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01-25-2020, 12:21 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Alberta
Posts: 639
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She's Tighter than a 2x4
Tuff tighty said the kitty but the milk still warm
Your just like your father......... 
Your Useless as tits on a boar,
she was built like a brick house
Take a chill pill
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01-25-2020, 05:50 AM
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: SJ, NB
Posts: 410
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My mom ....... "Small things amuse small minds."
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"The majority is never right."
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01-25-2020, 06:29 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lloydminster
Posts: 4,489
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette
Too good.
My dad when I asked about girls was 1 word, 1 very stern look.
DON'T.
and that ended that conversation lol
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Sort of sounds like my Dad, he said son if you just bend it in half and keep the spittn end out you'll OK
__________________
The problem we have today is that the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living.
We were all born ignorant but one must work very hard to remain that way.
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01-25-2020, 07:24 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 1,385
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Put that in your pipe and smoke it (this wasn't a drug reference)
Another one and i would love to know the origin of it but from years ago and I heard someone on this forum say it not so long ago is "dollars to donuts "
With horses " one white foot,buy me,two white feet try me,three white feet,be on the sly,four white feet,pass him on by"
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01-25-2020, 07:45 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Alberta
Posts: 635
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When a kid just assumed something would happen, mom would say “You thought? Thought stuck a feather in the ground and thought he’d grow a chicken!”
And getting teenagers out of bed she’d yell “Wake up you lazy loon! You’ll never catch a fish with your eyes shut!”
And her best one “Hard work never hurt anyone”.
She’s a farmer’s daughter born in 31 and still has her sharp wit 
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01-25-2020, 08:00 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Calgary-Red Deer area
Posts: 3,253
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You can wish in one hand and sh!t in the other and see which one fills up faster.
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I'm not really a licensed bodyman or heavy duty mechanic. I just play one at work.
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01-25-2020, 10:19 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Westerose
Posts: 4,061
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My grandfather when commenting on a meal "It'll make a turd."
ARG
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In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sjemac
It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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01-25-2020, 10:27 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,071
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Au revoir, Gopher
My grandfather when commenting on a meal "It'll make a turd."
ARG
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Haha got me again lol'd
oh I bet he was popular on those days after someone spent all morning cooking
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought..... 
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01-25-2020, 10:42 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 412
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These 2 come from me, saying them to my kids.
"Don't do stupid things."
And
"Don't do a Half-Assed Job."
It's working so well that even my kids tell me "thats a half-assed job, dad!" when I don't finish a project the first day. haha
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01-26-2020, 06:16 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Saskatoon
Posts: 1,592
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"Everyone is crazy, but me and thee, and I am not so sure about thee."
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