Seasonal depression

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by 1899b

if it’s regular depression you may be dealing with i urge you to get your testosterone levels checked. Also get a dose of ultraviolet lights (tanning bed) every once in awhile. The lack of light during our winters can be a real killer...[

x2

x2

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by MrMister12

Wow, thank you all so much for the support. I must be pretty broken, I’m a bit choked up by all the positive feedback lol thank you.

I work on a cattle:grain farm, been doing this for 15 years now. Love the job, and the family I work with. Not always a fan of the hours.

Hobbies are anything outside, hiking, fishing, quadding, hunting, shooting, archery...inside stuff I reload, tie flys

Matt you just went through the hardest part, telling someone you want help. Getting it should be a little easier. Feeling choked up is a great sign, you can accept the fact that good people care.

As much as I hate social media for it's manure I also appreciate it for the wealth of information it can offer, and the chance to meet like-minded people. You just have to weed through the bs to find the right ones.

Ask here and on other sites (facebook, etc) if anyone wants to go ice fishing. Teach how to tie flies. Offer to help people with reloading. Ask in the Archery forum if anyone wants to meet up at one of the city shops to go target shooting and tuning. Share some knowledge, make some friends.

[bloopbloob]

Originally Posted by MrMister12

Wow, thank you all so much for the support. I must be pretty broken, I’m a bit choked up by all the positive feedback lol thank you.

I work on a cattle:grain farm, been doing this for 15 years now. Love the job, and the family I work with. Not always a fan of the hours.

Hobbies are anything outside, hiking, fishing, quadding, hunting, shooting, archery...inside stuff I reload, tie flys

You're not broken. You reached out, and people care.
I've had plenty of dark days, I know what it's like on a very personal level. I don't like people in general, but it's engrained in our human needs to have social interaction. I can count my trusted circle of friends on one hand, and probably still have the middle finger left to flip. Working on a farm will make it tough to expand your circle. Might sound stupid, but maybe find a part time job somewhere. Maybe somewhere you would never think of working. Not for the money, but for the interaction and contacts you will make. Make a friend, who introduces you to their group of friends and it just grows...

[MrDave]

Got that problem too. Plus anxiety on top. The biggest problem seems to be how to meet people. Wife and I are isolated in a town of 7800. We are both children of alcoholic parents, raised in a world of drunkenness. So meeting people who want to go drinking isn't our gig.
I told my doctor I was feeling depressed and he told Mr to call the 1-800 number. That was his response, so don't expect much. I called and got quizzed by some lady. She wants to get to know me better.
Now I've been sent to see a clinic an hour and a half away because its WCB sponsored. Life is fun.

I bought a puppy and that helps, but not recommended. I suppose there isn't any outdoors group around, unless its the old boys club type. Maybe start looking at something like that.

When was your last vacation? Time to go take a break.

[huntinstuff]

Im thinking at 35 you should never be at home until its bedtime

Out. Anywhere.

Be aware of your surroundings

Women will look. Some smile. Nothing wrong with you breaking ice. Be a professional ice breaker. Whether its the girl serving you a coffee or a lady who just looks nice. Compliments are easy to give. Do it.

Being nice is attractive. Kindness goes a long way. It wont be long before it all clicks

[alacringa]

I get you. I live permanently with depression, but the winter months (when I get to work in the dark and go home in the dark and it's freezing frickin cold half the time) are especially difficult. My meds take the edge off, but it's always there, especially when I don't get out. I'm a little bit older than you and also single. Not sure if it fits in with your socialization description, but I'm also extremely introverted so not really into doing "group things" (I'm usually hiding in the corner at parties).
I find my dog helps a lot (not that I recommend getting a dog). If he doesn't get his hour-long walk in the evening, he's going to be a monkey in the house. He's the main thing I live for - I love seeing him happy.
One of my biggest problems has been self-medication with alcohol (a depressant), which has not been helpful, so avoid that at all costs. If you're already doing it, take steps to stop.
Counselling works for some folks. It didn't do much for me, but might be worth giving it a shot. Talk with your doctor. They can run some tests, and give you some recommendations and/or a prescription if necessary. Best of luck with this.

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Im thinking at 35 you should never be at home until its bedtime

Out. Anywhere.

Be aware of your surroundings

Women will look. Some smile. Nothing wrong with you breaking ice. Be a professional ice breaker. Whether its the girl serving you a coffee or a lady who just looks nice. Compliments are easy to give. Do it.

Being nice is attractive. Kindness goes a long way. It wont be long before it all clicks

Heed these very intelligent well thought out words. They come from a very smart man.

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

Heed these very intelligent well thought out words. They come from a very smart man.

LOL

The guy who has more female friends than guy friends. IM CURSED!!!!!

Ive been educated fairly well by them. I listen. Sometimes I wish I was alone on a different planet, but mostly they are the best thing ever.......

One thing is for sure. Kindness, confidence, honesty and courage go further than looks and money.

Women always call me ugly, UNTIL they find out how much money I have......then they call me ugly AND broke!!!!!!

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

LOL

The guy who has more female friends than guy friends. IM CURSED!!!!!

Ive been educated fairly well by them. I listen. Sometimes I wish I was alone on a different planet, but mostly they are the best thing ever.......

One thing is for sure. Kindness, confidence, honesty and courage go further than looks and money.

Women always call me ugly, UNTIL they find out how much money I have......then they call me ugly AND broke!!!!!!

yeah, and are out of shape and bald..... c'mon now. Stop it. (write that damn book, just remember, very first copy to me, signed.)

[walking buffalo]

Hi Matt,


Lots of understanding from those who have been communicating with you.

I get what you're saying, and have a hunch that this is MUCH worse than you are admitting.


With caring, I'm going to call you out.

Straight up, feeling and acting like this for so long is not "seasonal" or "normal" depression,
This is Chronic Depression.
The deep funk is hardwired.
Very tough to live with, and very tough to change.



For tonight, Unless you are busy with something good, ignore the previous comment to get off-line
Stay here and join the conversation on other threads.
Start a thread on something you like.



Tomorrow is a chance for a brand new beginning, if you want it, and will do what it takes.

Answer your messages.

[brohymn2]

Sent a pm

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by walking buffalo

Hi Matt,


Lots of understanding from those who have been communicating with you.

I get what you're saying, and have a hunch that this is MUCH worse than you are admitting.


With caring, I'm going to call you out.

Straight up, feeling and acting like this for so long is not "seasonal" or "normal" depression,
This is Chronic Depression.
The deep funk is hardwired.
Very tough to live with, and very tough to change.



For tonight, Unless you are busy with something good, ignore the previous comment to get off-line
Stay here and join the conversation on other threads.
Start a thread on something you like.



Tomorrow is a chance for a brand new beginning, if you want it, and will do what it takes.

Answer your messages.

I hear the sound of a nail getting hit perfectly on the head

[huntinstuff]

Matt

This isn’t anything you can’t fix. You sound like an outdoorsy guy. Sounds like you’re a hard worker who knows his stuff. Very good quality to have. What else do you like to do? What else would you LIKE to do?

What Im getting at is your world sounds like it needs to expand. You’re good at what you do, but there HAS to be more, right? There is.

New interests and experiences. Take a look at upcoming Edmonton events. Concerts. Plays. Dance/social gatherings. Pick 3 that put you out of your comfort zone. Attend. Be open minded. Be a little social. Stay late.

I’m sitting here on NYE with 6 friends. They are ALL providing input for you. It’s what we are doing right now because frankly, you’re worth it. Don’t know you, but that’s irrelevant. You posted and it hit a nerve. So we and everyone here is making effort to help. Now it’s your turn
I’m just the typist. The ladies are giving the ideas. I think they’re onto something.

It won’t happen overnight, but it damn well will happen.

And apparently “Happy” for men by Clinique is alluring.......whatever the hell that means

Lisa says “ get out there, anywhere, and be noticed. Staying at home sucks”

[MrMister12]

Thanks everyone. I was pretty unsure about posting about this, but you all have really made my day, even year a whole lot better.

I don’t drink, quit 15 years ago....maybe that’s the cause

I hope everyone is having a good New Year’s Eve! Be safe!

[walking buffalo]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

I hear the sound of a nail getting hit perfectly on the head

Still hit my thumb pretty often.

Worth the risk either way.

Originally Posted by MrMister12

Thanks everyone. I was pretty unsure about posting about this, but you all have really made my day, even year a whole lot better.

I don’t drink, quit 15 years ago....maybe that’s the cause

I hope everyone is having a good New Year’s Eve! Be safe!

Happy New Year Matt!

[ETOWNCANUCK]

This last week for the Holidays has had me feeling pretty low. Christmas as it is the majority of the time, is just another day. After work on Christmas Eve I sat in my truck when I got home and cried. It became overwhelming, the loneliness.
I have had worser Christmases and been way off worse in life in the past but I would just suck it up and move on with whatever was occurring at any stage in my life. Too the point that it has become all too familiar.

Two years ago now I went to my doctor and asked for help. I asked to be put on Anti-depressants and went and saw a therapist once a month,and every month since then. It has helped tremendously and I have overcome many obstacles. I learned about Cognitive Behaviour and changing things that are negative.
And it took time. And a lot of effort. But I knew that I could no longer live like that and that something needed to be done, before I fell so far that I couldn’t make it back. I have hit rock bottom before and it really sucked. So when I saw similarities happening again I knew I needed help.

That alone has been a hard row to hoe, but I have done it. It has taken many years and a lot of hard work to come back from that, not without a few set backs though.

I have had to learn to take care of myself, that it was ok to prioritize things for myself.
I wasn’t comfortable in my own home let alone my own skin.

This past year I really put a lot of effort into a lot of things. I changed almost everything I could. Every stitch of clothing, painted my place different colours , overhauled other areas, lost weight, grew out a beard, I get plenty of sleep and I keep doing things different from when I used to do them.

I worked on my mind, body and soul and it has helped me to be a better version of myself, I don’t recognize the ‘man in the mirror’ (not just because of the beard.) Smoking a little bit of weed has helped to calm my mind, help me to be more productive and to overall feel better about myself and my life.

So why was I crying on Christmas Eve?
It reminded me that I have come along way, but still have further to go.
So after my pity party, I decided that I would not let another Christmas come and go and be the same thing again in 2019.

That’s my goal amongst other ones for 2019. Keep getting better, keep changing, keep moving out of my comfort zone, a little bit at a time.
Because I am in control of my own life and I can not let the negativity destroy me.

One can overcome depression. It requires admitting to yourself that you need help and actually seeking it out.
If you are not getting from your doctor what you think you need, then find another one.
If Big Pharm doesn’t sound good, then try the other Big Farm and smoke a little.

Oh and don’t care what anyone else says. Do what you think will help your life. And when you find what works, keep doing it.
Anyone that doesn’t support you in your efforts are not worth your time or effort and that negativity needs to go.

Get a dog if you can, pet therapy is great. And when you have a happy pup to greet you everyday, and shows you unconditional love because you are his person and will comfort you when you are down, really helps.

Nothing happens overnight, but the things worth doing take time and effort and usually come with a bit of hard work, but the rewards are great.

One day at a time, it’s your life and it’s all about you. You will be offered and have been offered many good ideas to help. But it all comes down to what you accept and do with it.
No one can help you if you are not prepared to help your self.

Good luck and all the best in 2019.

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by Flatlandliver

It’s good advise but it’s temporary and won’t address deep seated issues. Way better then hitting a bottle or the casino for sure but it sounds to me like our young friend could benefit from quality professional care.

Gotta start somewhere and if issues continue reach out and talk, seek advice.

Great advice from ETOWNCANUCK.

Best of luck.

[Ken07AOVette]

Etown and everyone else that is having trouble I hope you / we have a great 2019 and beyond for many decades. We all need some little victories.

[Sporty]

I suffer from seasonal depression as well. Rather than take meds, I take vitamin D, Vitamin B12 (the sublingual as it absorbs quicker) and I have a SAD light that I turn on within the first hour of waking for 20 to 30 minutes. I typically use it when I'm having my morning coffee and reading the news. My doctor was the one who recommended the light, she also says that everyone in North America should supplement with Vitamin D year round. Once I started using the lamp, 2 years ago, the seasonal depression has been much easier to manage. As others suggested, exercise or some other type of hobbies might help. I got into painting and it's amazing how an hour of painting can really lift my mood.

Happy New Year and good luck. Lots of great advise and support here!

[Sundancefisher]

Originally Posted by MrMister12

Thanks everyone. I was pretty unsure about posting about this, but you all have really made my day, even year a whole lot better.

I don’t drink, quit 15 years ago....maybe that’s the cause

I hope everyone is having a good New Year’s Eve! Be safe!

You stay safe!

You are not alone in feeling depressed. Many experience depression at some point in their life and often don't realize it. Some have more chronic or major depression. You are not different and it is not your fault.

Now that you feel comfortable to talk about it you can take further proactive steps. Be part of the solution. Be open to change but not gullible.

Be honest with your doctor. If you have a health care plan with psychological coverage get an assessment. Doctor may want you to see a psychiatrist. The more people you talk to the more you will understand your condition.

Look after your health...eat right, stay clean, get exercise and get outside.

When it comes to relationships... Work on the above first and foremost. Be nice, laid back and level headed and don't try to make/force something happen by trying too hard. There is the right person for everyone out there and often love is found when not expecting it.

Support on AOF is super great for you however no one can diagnose you over the internet.

Stay good in 2019!

Sun

[wildbill]

Originally Posted by MrMister12

Thanks everyone. I was pretty unsure about posting about this, but you all have really made my day, even year a whole lot better.

I don’t drink, quit 15 years ago....maybe that’s the cause

I hope everyone is having a good New Year’s Eve! Be safe!

I too feel your pain, what is the nature of your sobriety?
If yer in the program, I strongly suggest doing the 12 steps, I had struggled all of my life with depression, and have always been a recluse, I kind of just don’t like people, in a certain way, or maybe I just hate fake people, I know I’ve got family that thinks they are superior to everyone, don’t waste my time with them.
There are people who portray being happy all the time too (just like social media, it had happened way before then too, fake happy, fake people.)
I played sports heavy in high school, pumped iron like crazy, very physically active, but, it always had a grip on me, to be surrounded by friends and family didn’t matter, seemed to make it worse, then having an old school dad who “didn’t talk about those sorts of things” just sort of made it impossible for me to deal with.
So age 15, I start experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and went fer a good 13 years hard, then smartened up and had a huge void in my life left by my addictions.
That was my lowest point in my intire life, a year almost to the day of my sobriety, I had mentally reran every mistake I had done over and over, for me, I truly am my worst enemy, no one can mentally beat me up worse than I can.
Now, what actually worked for me were steps 4 and 5.
I found writing down step 4 was the first step to saving my life, (regardless if someone is in a 12 step program I strongly suggest theses steps to anyone struggling with depression) write it down, get it out of your head, be honest, then step 5 you admit the nature of your wrongs, choose wisely the person you share this information with, I can honestly say it felt like a different world when I finished doing it, a true awakening.
What I learned was, I ain’t that bad a person, maybe a bit of jerk, but that ain’t never gonna change.
This time of year, puts people in the bottom of the valley, for sure, it was\is the worst time of year for me.
A bit of a background, I’ve been dealing with depression since I was five, and was forced to see shrinks and therapists, pretty much my whole life up until about 12 years ago. Did the medication, but all that really did for me personally was numb my problem, and really hinder another area of my life ().
For me I have to be mentally prepared for the worst, it works for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, not every day is perfect, but, she gets real, I am prepared.
Part of it was not having a wife and kids, but, now I’ve got them, and guess what? I wish I was single again! I love them to death, but dang, I sure do love being on the river by myself.
One last thing, if you’ve got tenants inside you’re head,it’s time to evict them!
Hope that helps, got a million things I could say on this subject, hope it ain’t too confusing, and, happy New Year!

[Blastoff]

Matt shoot me a pm in mid May or early June, I live at a lake 1.5 hrs east of you, we can spend a weekend sitting around the fire pit, kayaking, ride bush trails on Mtn bike, lots of outdoor activity to do, got some good neighbors and I have a spare room. Cheers

[Jayhad]

Google Exercise depression and read the info.

I know several people with depression, all have tried meds, most rely on exercise and say it's much more effective.

[sns2]

Thank you to all who have contributed. This is a regularly occurring topic on AO. Might make it a sticky. Lord knows it is more important than 30-06 vs 270

OP, you have been given great advice, and no one has been stupid and told you to pull up your own bootstraps. That burns me because that kind of advice only worsens things.

I have been there myself, and as a high school teacher, am surrounded by young people who wrestle with this.

So in summary...

1) Go see your doctor. If yours is no good then go to a walk in medicentre and tell what you have told us.

2) Do not be afraid of medication. This ain't the 70s. Sure some anti-depressants have side effects, but many do not have any at all. I speak from experience. If you have a lack of seratonin in your body, all the other advice you've been given won't do anything and you will still feel terrible.

3) Counselors can help greatly to identify unhealthy patterns, bring understanding, and give skillful advice. Plus it is good to talk to someone who understands all you are feeling.

4) Get out there socially no matter how introverted you are. We were not built to live in isolation.

5) Physical activity is key and it is free. And I am not talking about being a weightlifter or running a marathon, though I tip my hat to those who are. Just be active. Sweat is a great medicine and it's free.

6) Stay away from booze. Booze makes things worse not better. That's fact.

7) Some have mentioned pot. I have read that it has been successful in helping depression, though I would go see a doctor about this first.

8) Find a woman. Any woman will do. May help you sweat a bit too. LOL.

9) Hobbies. I know for a fact there are guys in your area that would gladly have you join them. Tell the forum where you live.

10) Vitamins and light therapy help greatly with seasonal depression, but I would bet my house you've got full on garden variety depression.

11) Read for understanding. Ravyak mentioned a great book. Get it and read it.

12) Do not even think of trying only one. A holistic treatment plan is by far the most effective. Cherry picking advice will leave you in the exact same spot.

13) Put more creedence in advice from people who have lived it. Armchair critics are a pain in the arse.

I wish you the best.

[omega50]

One therapist 20 years ago asked me whether or not I felt that depression was simply rage internalized.
Food for thought
Finding an outlet might be helpful

[huntinstuff]

Originally Posted by omega50

One therapist 20 years ago asked me whether or not I felt that depression was simply rage internalized.
Food for thought
Finding an outlet might be helpful

True

And remember, Fear is just Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment

[buckbrush]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

And remember, Fear is just Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment

Wow! That hit me. I've never thought of it like that before but in most cases it is true...

[1899b]

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

True

And remember, Fear is just Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment

That is so awesome...

[amosfella]

Look up Jordan Peterson on Joe Rogan about diet on you tube. You may find an answer there.

[bloopbloob]

Anybody had any contact with Matt, since 8:07pm last night? That is his last posted activity on here. I sent him an unanswered PM last night, I know others have pm'd as well. Been checking activity all day, and nothing.... This hits close to home and I genuinely care about your well being Matt!