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01-31-2015, 06:13 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Lacombe.
Posts: 2,932
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Damn opened thread again.... Uh
A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report
> that his wife was missing.
> Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping
> yesterday and has not come home...
.
> Sergeant: What is her height?
>
> Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet
> tall.
>
> Sergeant: Weight?
>
> Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
>
> Sergeant: Color of eyes?
>
> Husband: Never noticed.
>
> Sergeant: Color of hair?
>
> Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark
> brown.
>
> Sergeant: What was she wearing?
>
>
> Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t
> remember exactly.
>
> Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
>
> Husband: She went in my truck.
>
> Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
>
> Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with
> eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual
> transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the
> bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats.
> Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation,
> 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power
> outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins.
> Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point
> the husband started choking up.
>
> Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy... We’ll find your
> truck.
__________________
Legislation can not fix stupidity.
-Grizz-
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01-31-2015, 07:46 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,522
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norman
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I can't stop laughing at this.
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01-31-2015, 08:24 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Stanger
Posts: 969
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__________________
Ecclesiastes 10:2
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02-02-2015, 02:52 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,090
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Sequoia!
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02-02-2015, 09:13 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Lacombe.
Posts: 2,932
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bb356
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Love that picture.
__________________
Legislation can not fix stupidity.
-Grizz-
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02-02-2015, 09:42 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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02-02-2015, 10:53 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: WMU 334
Posts: 335
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My buck from this year
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Blaming violence on guns is like blaming obesity on spoons. -unknown.
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02-02-2015, 10:55 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Lacombe.
Posts: 2,932
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Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to load my pheasant hunting gear into the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.* There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out pheasant hunting in that crap?'
I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped hunting.
__________________
Legislation can not fix stupidity.
-Grizz-
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02-03-2015, 01:32 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 293
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Pheasant are funny that way
Hilarious Pheasant Hunting post!! Now my face hurts from smiling, but I don't think I cracked anything.
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02-03-2015, 01:33 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savage7mm
My buck from this year
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Wow - what a beast! A unique buck for sure - nice!
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02-03-2015, 01:45 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 293
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Winchester 63 1945
Very nice looking rifle. Looks like it feeds through the side of the stock, really neat. GunBroker sold one for $899.00. A little more than I can afford. I am searching for used/broken 22 cal. parts and barrels for a project gun or two, if the first one works out. Trying to learn a bit of gunsmithing to help keep winter outside.
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02-03-2015, 03:26 AM
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02-03-2015, 07:58 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 115
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joke
What did the banana say to the vibrator??? Why you shaking? shes gonna eat me!
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02-05-2015, 10:43 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,090
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Robert
Robert
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02-06-2015, 02:24 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Grandma's basement
Posts: 248
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My new in the box Coleman lantern made for the CPR in 1976. Model 639 kerosene....nice 
[IMG]  [/IMG]
[IMG]  [/IMG]
[IMG]  [/IMG]
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02-06-2015, 06:32 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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 .
__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
Last edited by Red Bullets; 02-06-2015 at 06:45 PM.
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02-06-2015, 06:37 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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02-06-2015, 06:41 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
___________________________________________
It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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02-06-2015, 06:43 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 1,002
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that lantern is awesome!
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02-06-2015, 08:23 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Lacombe.
Posts: 2,932
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary K
that lantern is awesome!
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Most Definetly.
I will contribute another joke.
-Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course; He'll shut up once you let him in.
- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
__________________
Legislation can not fix stupidity.
-Grizz-
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02-07-2015, 01:33 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,090
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Veggie Trophy Hunter
Veggie Trophy Hunter
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02-11-2015, 09:38 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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just looking....
__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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02-15-2015, 09:40 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Lost in the Barrens
Posts: 208
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Just a couple of bitches!
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Live for the hunt, prepare for the kill.
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02-15-2015, 09:52 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 193
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I have a brass ornament like that pic but it is 2 pigs! I call it makin bacon 
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02-19-2015, 06:52 PM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Schuler
Posts: 181
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02-19-2015, 06:54 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Lacombe.
Posts: 2,932
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This one is old but still makes me chuckle.
A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.
He appears to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
"What's the matter dear?" She whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"
The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."
She can't believe he has remembered. She starts to tear up.
The husband continues solemnly, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15."
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses ... the words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.
"Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?'
"I remember that too," she replied softly...
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said...... "I would have gotten out today."
__________________
Legislation can not fix stupidity.
-Grizz-
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02-19-2015, 07:24 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Red deer
Posts: 499
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A wise old owl sat on an oak,the more he heard the less he spoke,the less he spoke,the more he heard..now let us be like that wise old bird..whoops just shot him,gotta go! 
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02-19-2015, 11:03 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,628
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Its all in how you look at things.
__________________
___________________________________________
This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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02-20-2015, 08:30 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Central Alberta
Posts: 100
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Seems like a strange game. Everyone pray for the comeback of oil prices!
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02-20-2015, 12:19 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: On an agitated planet
Posts: 665
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Pure happiness: my puppy yesterday, when he found a big bone in a snow bank.
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I like the smell of Retumbo in the morning.
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