The victims of suicide

[Bigwoodsman]

so sad. Suicide.

BW

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by catnthehat

EVERYBODY needs to get civil and respectfull in this thread .
That is all I am going to say
Cat

Should shut er down,

[Norwest Alta]

I can understand the physical pain that make one want to end their lives. The mental stuff I have a tough time trying to understand.

I will be honest and say when I was sick and going through my cancer treatments the thought had crossed my mind. I think it was more so that I was physically drained, sick and just wanted to give up. I had some encouragement from members here ( some I've met and others I haven't ) to keep up the good fight. With out this encouragement from my family, friends and forum friends I can honestly say I don't know if I would've made it. Those fellas and one speacial lady from the forum I give to I big high five and thanks. Life is good.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by 58thecat

Should shut er down,

No.... Thats wrong. I know it's not comfortable but its a conversation that must be kept going. If I had my way about it, it would be pinned to the top.

[Talking moose]

Originally Posted by 58thecat

Should shut er down,

Getting to be your favourite saying....

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by Talking moose

Getting to be your favourite saying....

Keep er going!

As long as we play nice...

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by Jamie

No.... Thats wrong. I know it's not comfortable but its a conversation that must be kept going. If I had my way about it, it would be pinned to the top.

Your right it's not comfortable, it's not understandable, there are no answers, only questions...why?

[sns2]

Hope is a powerful force. Lack of hope is equally powerful.

Depression is not a weakness. Treating it, in many cases, is as simple as taking a pill, getting out for some regular exercise, and it never hurts to get off the sauce too if that is a part of the problem.

[landowner]

I lost a parent to suicide at 16 , I still really appreciate the classmates who reached out and kept talking to me. I still despise the teachers and councillors who avoided me like the plague. Victims need to talk and vent , don't go silent and treat them differently.

[Tactical Lever]

A guy I went to high school with killed himself. He was a good guy, and I think it surprised everyone. He was popular, had good looks, was athletic and had a nice girlfriend. I didn't hang around with him too much, but I don't recall him ever being in trouble or in poor spirits. At least outwardly. I think it was probably a year after we graduated. Had his whole life ahead of him.

I have had the good fortune of having some good friends, and they had some depression. Young and things just didn't go their way. They confided in me, that they had thought about ending it.

I do not think I sugar coated it too much, but I gently told them that I did not approve, and they would be missed more than they knew. Pretty sure one of them would have done it at least. He had a method picked out. I believe I picked out good things about their lives, and pointed out that there was much to look forward to. Maybe not tomorrow, but things have a way of straightening out. And maybe I was able to cast some doubt on things turning out better if they ended their lives.

I'm glad I could do a little to help out.

[sns2]

Good work.

[^v^Tinda wolf^v^]

Glad to hear you got through the rough patch Jamie.

On another note,
I made my post when I was half asleep, I drank too much coffee yesterday and crashed a bit early last night. I wasn't sure I should of posted what I said but I'm glad I did if somehow it helps someone that is contemplating checking out.

I'm a tad concerned about bb as this thread seemed to get under his skin a bit.
Any hoo, I enjoyed blasting the late night zingers when I couldn't sleep with bb and I'm kind of going to miss that a bit as there ain't many night owls around here, especially with bb's character that I liked so much. For those that know him maybe check in and see how things are going with him. Thanks.

[Norwest Alta]

Originally Posted by ^v^Tinda wolf^v^

Glad to hear you got through the rough patch Jamie.

On another note,
I made my post when I was half asleep, I drank too much coffee yesterday and crashed a bit early last night. I wasn't sure I should of posted what I said but I'm glad I did if somehow it helps someone that is contemplating checking out.

I'm a tad concerned about bb as this thread seemed to get under his skin a bit.
Any hoo, I enjoyed blasting the late night zingers when I couldn't sleep with bb and I'm kind of going to miss that a bit as there ain't many night owls around here, especially with bb's character that I liked so much. For those that know him maybe check in and see how things are going with him. Thanks.

I was bs'ing him today a little and I know where you're coming from. He has his mother visiting so I didn't want to call him. Good guy and he brought a lot comedy to the forum.

[birdee]

my sister commited suicide a year later her 18y old son did too.Give him a hug and let him know it was not his fault.Let him talk.I couldn't be there for my nephew as i was 1000 km away.His father and sister missed the sign's.

[gtr]

This has turned into something other than what was intended. Sad as I believe this was not the OP's intent at all.
A sad commentary of how things are in 2017. Something for everyone to ponder at the least. Gary.

[BPM]

I think these threads are important and I'm glad that public awareness and understanding is more out in the forefront than it used to be.

As a first responder for an unnamed federal government agency I deal with suicide on a fairly regular basis. Both "Successful and Unsuccessful" It's become dehumanizing. Its become a dark humor at times guised as a coping mechanism. Just hang in there, gave it his best shot, etc etc, but in truth, it wears on people. Do I like the sound of the air and stink when you cut off a ligature and their last breath escapes their body into your face? The absolute mess that is left behind? Making that phone call, moving the body and parts of bodies, writing descript reports. Nope, it's not fun. What's also not fun is the lasting effects, the dreams, the noises the smells that all trigger flashbacks. The inability to open up to friends and family and coworkers about it. The constant questioning about is there more I could have done, the post investigation questioning and potential (and frequent) discipline on whether or not I did everything I possibly could have when I found the victim? And the dulling of your own observations about your own friends or family and potentially overlook something in your own life that results in a friend or family member taking their life and you not seeing it and feeling like @%#$& for having not been able to do something.

We all chose our line of work and the good outweighs the bad however there are very much a lot of victims of suicide that reaches out beyond the person doing the life taking. (in case there are folks here that hate first responders police fire ambulance doctors nurses corrections etc etc and love to say "You picked the job")

Suicide is not talked out in the media, news papers etc etc, its rarely published. Heck, A friend of mine works for a railway as an inspector, and the amount of people in this country killed by trains is staggering many of you would be shocked by the numbers.

Suicide took the lives of nearly 4100 people in 2013, haven't seen the latest however it has to be substantially higher now with the economy like it is. I know in Alberta alone it's up a significant amount due to the economy and with Fentanyl out there, it's become a common means, often being written up as accidental overdose instead of suicide.

I know of several coworkers that have tried taking their own lives in the last couple years and a few more in other regions that actually did. And the same thing happens, departments send out mental health awareness emails and the news papers put a small blurb about it and then everything goes back to status quo and names and faces are again quickly forgotten.

A dramatic change in public perception is needed. Both for those to know what to look for (it can be ever so slight) and for those suffering to recognise early enough that there is help.

I am a full supporter of euthanasia for medical reasons etc, I know if I become a vegetable I'm ready to pack it in. But for the mental health aspects its so vastly deep and difficult to address. We don't want to be overly vigilant and misdiagnose someone having a bad day versus someone on the edge, but we also cant do nothing.

I couldn't care less if people think I'm not a mans man or a softy or why don't I just suck it up.

I've looked death and evil and horror right in the eyes at the 11th hour and fought for my next breath and come out the other side calm and collected and with lives saved so those opinions are not even entertained by me, but eventually we all need to look at our selves too instead of those things and make sure you're okay too. I know if I hadn't addressed things when I did I wouldt be posting on here right now either. I wasn't calm and collected once I got home, I wasn't calm and collected weeks months years later after the fact, I was simply dulling it, dehumanizing it and never resolved any of it, just another incident to bottle up and put in the ruck sack, until once day that sack was so heavy I collapsed and took it out on everyone around me. I was an absolute ****ing ******* to my family friends coworkers. I woke up angry, went to bed angry, hated people, being in public, watching the news, going for dinner, visiting with relatives. Just distant and isolative from everything and everyone. I would get angry, rage angry for absolutely no reason or the smallest thing, which was out of control for me and I got help. I don't take meds, might work for some, everyone is different, it took a lot of talking and understanding and venting and acceptance.

Get help, Offer help, Promote Help.

Otherwise you're no help.

Thanks everyone for your shared stories. They Help.

Sorry for the derail.

[RandyBoBandy]

Originally Posted by gtr

This has turned into something other than what was intended. Sad as I believe this was not the OP's intent at all.
A sad commentary of how things are in 2017. Something for everyone to ponder at the least. Gary.

Yep..lot's of Dr.Phil's and JUDGES on here, that haven't got a clue what it takes to make the decision.

[^v^Tinda wolf^v^]

Not all is lost here, maybe our discussion will give Kurt something more to talk to the young lad about. I know I just got a little better understanding. The curiosity on "WHY" that I've had most of my life is giving me some insight from other people's story's.

I hope you are doing better with this bad news Kurt.

[sns2]

Originally Posted by BPM

I think these threads are important and I'm glad that public awareness and understanding is more out in the forefront than it used to be.

As a first responder for an unnamed federal government agency I deal with suicide on a fairly regular basis. Both "Successful and Unsuccessful" It's become dehumanizing. Its become a dark humor at times guised as a coping mechanism. Just hang in there, gave it his best shot, etc etc, but in truth, it wears on people. Do I like the sound of the air and stink when you cut off a ligature and their last breath escapes their body into your face? The absolute mess that is left behind? Making that phone call, moving the body and parts of bodies, writing descript reports. Nope, it's not fun. What's also not fun is the lasting effects, the dreams, the noises the smells that all trigger flashbacks. The inability to open up to friends and family and coworkers about it. The constant questioning about is there more I could have done, the post investigation questioning and potential (and frequent) discipline on whether or not I did everything I possibly could have when I found the victim? And the dulling of your own observations about your own friends or family and potentially overlook something in your own life that results in a friend or family member taking their life and you not seeing it and feeling like @%#$& for having not been able to do something.

We all chose our line of work and the good outweighs the bad however there are very much a lot of victims of suicide that reaches out beyond the person doing the life taking. (in case there are folks here that hate first responders police fire ambulance doctors nurses corrections etc etc and love to say "You picked the job")

Suicide is not talked out in the media, news papers etc etc, its rarely published. Heck, A friend of mine works for a railway as an inspector, and the amount of people in this country killed by trains is staggering many of you would be shocked by the numbers.

Suicide took the lives of nearly 4100 people in 2013, haven't seen the latest however it has to be substantially higher now with the economy like it is. I know in Alberta alone it's up a significant amount due to the economy and with Fentanyl out there, it's become a common means, often being written up as accidental overdose instead of suicide.

I know of several coworkers that have tried taking their own lives in the last couple years and a few more in other regions that actually did. And the same thing happens, departments send out mental health awareness emails and the news papers put a small blurb about it and then everything goes back to status quo and names and faces are again quickly forgotten.

A dramatic change in public perception is needed. Both for those to know what to look for (it can be ever so slight) and for those suffering to recognise early enough that there is help.

I am a full supporter of euthanasia for medical reasons etc, I know if I become a vegetable I'm ready to pack it in. But for the mental health aspects its so vastly deep and difficult to address. We don't want to be overly vigilant and misdiagnose someone having a bad day versus someone on the edge, but we also cant do nothing.

I couldn't care less if people think I'm not a mans man or a softy or why don't I just suck it up.

I've looked death and evil and horror right in the eyes at the 11th hour and fought for my next breath and come out the other side calm and collected and with lives saved so those opinions are not even entertained by me, but eventually we all need to look at our selves too instead of those things and make sure you're okay too. I know if I hadn't addressed things when I did I wouldt be posting on here right now either. I wasn't calm and collected once I got home, I wasn't calm and collected weeks months years later after the fact, I was simply dulling it, dehumanizing it and never resolved any of it, just another incident to bottle up and put in the ruck sack, until once day that sack was so heavy I collapsed and took it out on everyone around me. I was an absolute ****ing ******* to my family friends coworkers. I woke up angry, went to bed angry, hated people, being in public, watching the news, going for dinner, visiting with relatives. Just distant and isolative from everything and everyone. I would get angry, rage angry for absolutely no reason or the smallest thing, which was out of control for me and I got help. I don't take meds, might work for some, everyone is different, it took a lot of talking and understanding and venting and acceptance.

Get help, Offer help, Promote Help.

Otherwise you're no help.

Thanks everyone for your shared stories. They Help.

Sorry for the derail.

That's no derail. You have balls my friend, and I tip my hat to you for what you do. None of us will ever know what you face.

[purgatory.sv]

Victims of a decision.

I know nothing.

I know some whom have died.

I actually know several who have made a decision.

Knowing is not certain.

You only hear when you listen.
You only hear when you listen.
You only hear when you listen.


Several post both deleted and current have pointed to the listen and or observe….

Good luck you will know it.

[Kurt505]

Well, when I posted this thread I certainly wasn't expecting it to create arguments, just awareness, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to get banned.

I am extremely thankful for people like Jamie, sns2, BPM, birdee, landowner, and many others for shedding light on their personal experiences with this.

Jamie, your story has shook me to the core. I can't imagine being there, and I hope to God I never will. I am so glad you made it through your dark days, and I'm sure what you have told us today will save someone's life, and it will save their loved ones the anguish of trying to cope and make sense of it. I don't have the words to explain how I feel about you posting your story, but what I can say is you are one strong man.

[Kurt505]

Originally Posted by ^v^Tinda wolf^v^

Not all is lost here, maybe our discussion will give Kurt something more to talk to the young lad about. I know I just got a little better understanding. The curiosity on "WHY" that I've had most of my life is giving me some insight from other people's story's.

I hope you are doing better with this bad news Kurt.

You wouldn't believe the help I've gotten from this thread, getting the courage to face the young man and offer him my help is the next big step.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by Kurt505

Well, when I posted this thread I certainly wasn't expecting it to create arguments, just awareness, and the last thing I wanted was for someone to get banned.

I am extremely thankful for people like Jamie, sns2, BPM, birdee, landowner, and many others for shedding light on their personal experiences with this.

Jamie, your story has shook me to the core. I can't imagine being there, and I hope to God I never will. I am so glad you made it through your dark days, and I'm sure what you have told us today will save someone's life, and it will save their loved ones the anguish of trying to cope and make sense of it. I don't have the words to explain how I feel about you posting your story, but what I can say is you are one strong man.

It's a hell of a edge Kurt.. I don't recommend anyone getting that far out..
Thank you for the kind words.

[Sooner]

I thought this was a very informative thread/topic and thank the OP for bringing it up. Some real life info was given and a light shed on just how one can go from being good to being in a real dark scary place in a blink of an eye it seems. I bet it has helped people already 10 fold despite some heated posts.



I don't know what went on with bb356 to get him banned but I am of the opinion he should come back. Seems like everyone will eventually have to deal with knowing someone who takes their life, opinions can get heated when a thread like this makes us remember such horrible times. I seen it affect my dad when he found his friend.

bb356 was by far a fun contributing member of this forum, even if he likes the bruins . He should be given the option to return.

Sorry for the slight derail on bb356.

To the guys who have shared their personal stories, you have helped immensely. Thank you for sharing, it must have been very hard to do.

[Albertadiver]

Reading this tonight, all I can say at the moment is wow.

I'll add more later. (Within forum rules)

[58thecat]

Originally Posted by BPM

I think these threads are important and I'm glad that public awareness and understanding is more out in the forefront than it used to be.

As a first responder for an unnamed federal government agency I deal with suicide on a fairly regular basis. Both "Successful and Unsuccessful" It's become dehumanizing. Its become a dark humor at times guised as a coping mechanism. Just hang in there, gave it his best shot, etc etc, but in truth, it wears on people. Do I like the sound of the air and stink when you cut off a ligature and their last breath escapes their body into your face? The absolute mess that is left behind? Making that phone call, moving the body and parts of bodies, writing descript reports. Nope, it's not fun. What's also not fun is the lasting effects, the dreams, the noises the smells that all trigger flashbacks. The inability to open up to friends and family and coworkers about it. The constant questioning about is there more I could have done, the post investigation questioning and potential (and frequent) discipline on whether or not I did everything I possibly could have when I found the victim? And the dulling of your own observations about your own friends or family and potentially overlook something in your own life that results in a friend or family member taking their life and you not seeing it and feeling like @%#$& for having not been able to do something.

We all chose our line of work and the good outweighs the bad however there are very much a lot of victims of suicide that reaches out beyond the person doing the life taking. (in case there are folks here that hate first responders police fire ambulance doctors nurses corrections etc etc and love to say "You picked the job")

Suicide is not talked out in the media, news papers etc etc, its rarely published. Heck, A friend of mine works for a railway as an inspector, and the amount of people in this country killed by trains is staggering many of you would be shocked by the numbers.

Suicide took the lives of nearly 4100 people in 2013, haven't seen the latest however it has to be substantially higher now with the economy like it is. I know in Alberta alone it's up a significant amount due to the economy and with Fentanyl out there, it's become a common means, often being written up as accidental overdose instead of suicide.

I know of several coworkers that have tried taking their own lives in the last couple years and a few more in other regions that actually did. And the same thing happens, departments send out mental health awareness emails and the news papers put a small blurb about it and then everything goes back to status quo and names and faces are again quickly forgotten.

A dramatic change in public perception is needed. Both for those to know what to look for (it can be ever so slight) and for those suffering to recognise early enough that there is help.

I am a full supporter of euthanasia for medical reasons etc, I know if I become a vegetable I'm ready to pack it in. But for the mental health aspects its so vastly deep and difficult to address. We don't want to be overly vigilant and misdiagnose someone having a bad day versus someone on the edge, but we also cant do nothing.

I couldn't care less if people think I'm not a mans man or a softy or why don't I just suck it up.

I've looked death and evil and horror right in the eyes at the 11th hour and fought for my next breath and come out the other side calm and collected and with lives saved so those opinions are not even entertained by me, but eventually we all need to look at our selves too instead of those things and make sure you're okay too. I know if I hadn't addressed things when I did I wouldt be posting on here right now either. I wasn't calm and collected once I got home, I wasn't calm and collected weeks months years later after the fact, I was simply dulling it, dehumanizing it and never resolved any of it, just another incident to bottle up and put in the ruck sack, until once day that sack was so heavy I collapsed and took it out on everyone around me. I was an absolute ****ing ******* to my family friends coworkers. I woke up angry, went to bed angry, hated people, being in public, watching the news, going for dinner, visiting with relatives. Just distant and isolative from everything and everyone. I would get angry, rage angry for absolutely no reason or the smallest thing, which was out of control for me and I got help. I don't take meds, might work for some, everyone is different, it took a lot of talking and understanding and venting and acceptance.

Get help, Offer help, Promote Help.

Otherwise you're no help.

Thanks everyone for your shared stories. They Help.

Sorry for the derail.

Your story is so true for many, I know a few right now we are dealing with, patience and time, this can be frustrating at times for those who help, it is tiring and does put a strain on you which negatively affects you, your family etc...patience and time, perseverance.
Hope things work out for all, hate standing there asking...why?

[waterninja]

I know people who have commited sucide and I also know people who have gone through periods of deep depression. There is quite an ongoing debate right now in Canada about people suffering from severe chronic pain. Seems like recent govt. policies are forcing these people to consider suicide as a viable alternative to chronic pain. Very sad.
What I don't understand is why BB was banned from the forum. He was making clearer points pertaining to this thread and I must have missed the post where he became obnoxious. His arguments were to the point and made more sense then the OP who made a lot of rambling statements and seemed to be trying troll for an argument with him.
I can only guess that the post was deleted, or that things went sideways in the PM's.

[waterninja]

Just listened to a program on CHED yesterday where a Doctor ran a very successful project to deal with depression and suicide in a school. He reported that they reduced the number of students thinking about suicide to 0, and that they also had great success helping students deal with depression. Cost was about 150.00 per student, and Doctor is trying to get funding to set up more programs.
Whether or not all the claims are accurate, I can't say, but this is a Doctor highly regarded in his area of expertise and he is trying to get more projects up and running.

[Vacation]

I have lost too many friends to suicide in my younger years. One of whom we had the chat months before. After high school we freely spoke of how we both felt lost and things were rough and had considered a way out. I told him its an easy out, the living suffer, its cowardly and hurts so many. Problem is sometimes it feels like the only way to end the pain. I think the best thing is to discuss it, don't shy away. Its real. Best to speak of these things.

[Stinky Buffalo]

I truly appreciate this thread - having lost several friends/acquaintances over the years, it's something that never gets easier to see happen.

Those of you who shared your experiences - your courage to share is inspiring. You may never know whom you have helped by your contribution to this thread.