Disturbing night

well I got a call last night, my friend committed suicide, he was 19. Alot of us don't know why, one of my friends who was real close to him has a few ideas but why would someone so young take there life? the way he did it was just, crazy, he cut his own throat. I cant imagine to be the people that found him. I just don't understand how something could be bad enough to do such a thing. Iv lost 4 good friends in the past 2 years and its just insane how this happens. All I can do is be there for people and pray. Just a shocking night, have not slept either. Just hard to take in I guess....Just had to speak my mind somewhat, and know the people here are kind.

[WCTHEMI]

Sorry to hear about that. Had a friend do the same thing when I was in high school. Its a huge shock and tough to deal with. Definately helps to be able to talk about it to someone.

[catnthehat]

Sorry for the loss of your friend, but there was absolutely nothing you could have done about it.
I have lost numerous friends over the years, some by suicide, and it was always the same thing " How come they didn't talk to me" or " what could I have done differently".
The answers are " because they didn't want to" and " there was nothing you could have done differently"
They had it in their mind to do that, and that's all.
All we can do is move on from there and try to keep our own lives together...
Cat

[mud slug]

sorry about you friend, sometimes thing like this happen and we can't figure them out. don't dwell on your friends suicide remember the good times you had together and the laughter, it wont take the hurt away but it makes it easier to handle. kevin

thanks guys, ya its really hard, well losing my 5th friend in 2 years. all the sudden I feel really bad for thinking I had it hard right now with now job and money and no truck. Now I feel like a ***** because obviously some people have way more problems. wish he could have done something, handled it somehow, but I guess its to late for what he could have and should have done

[TreeGuy]

Phantom, that really sucks, man! Please accept my condolances. Suicide is a strange thing that is impossible to really explain. Unfortunatlly, in the small-town settings, it seems to go in cycles.

I've lost 7 very close friends to such cowardice and all I can tell you is to not EVER blame yourself! That just makes things worse. Take care.

Tree

[Dick284]

Dont beat yourself up over things you have no control over.

Just because you see your priorities as being diffrent than your friends, dont sweat it, you just see things diffrently and prioritize diffrent, not saying that either side is correct, because everyone has diffrent priorities or sees things from a diffrent perspective.
Your trying to over compensate by the sounds of it.
The only advice possible, is grieve the loss of your friend, and make piece with yourself then get on with life.

[honda450]

Went to visit a friend of mine who never answered the door, little did I know he gased himself in the garage. Never would of thought that. Life is strange.

[Rust]

Sorry to hear that Phantom. It really sucks, I know! I don't think that something like this can ever really been understood. Keep your head up man!!!

[CaberTosser]

Sorry to hear about that, it sure makes you stop to appreciate the things you hold dear. I recall many years ago where a friend of my sisters who was quite keen on her (she just liked him as a friend) dropped her off at our house, then he went home and gassed himself with his vintage 60's Caddilac. I resented him for a quite a while for doing that to her, but alas I couldn't seek my revenge. Sometimes these people can be helped, but often it can catch everybody off guard. Don't blame yourself, but take it as a reminder to live well.

[mountainmike]

sorry to hear about your loss..........it's never easy. death is one thing, but this is a whole other thing. Most people will never understand why or how someone could ever do such a thing. Next week will mark the 16th anniversary of my father's suicide. Yep it's a tough one. I don't talk about it much, but i've been there myself.....wanting to also myself in the past. So I am one of the few that can relate or understand what someone is feeling when they make that choice. However after living through my Dad's and seeing what it did to OUR FAMILY.....I choose to seek help for myself. Talking to someone helped me so much. I believe it gave me a new begining on life. It wasn't easy but I did it.

When it 1st happen's, it's the woulda, coulda, blah, blah crap. Trust me......we all do it. There isn't a dam thing any of us can do to stop it. when they've made that choice......that's it. And we're left behind picking up the peices!!!!!!!!!!!! Silly thing is most people think that we'd be better off....My Dad did. But I will bet he never thought once about what the look on his poor children's faces would be when they happen to be the one to find HIM!!!Never mind how it will traumatize them n scare them for life. Then there's a few....I'll show them attitudes....yep the heros. The one's that make sure it's a gruesome site, for who they want to find them. Cowards.........

To all the people that think that it's an easy way out....for you maybe???? PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE AFTER MATH FOR THE ONE'S THAT LOVE YOU 1ST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk to someone get help. Call a friend. Don't be to proud to ask for help. There's always hope and 2nd chances. NEVER GIVE UP. sorry, guess I got carried away with this..........

My prayers are with you and don't hate the friend for what they have done. You may never understand the why's....most don't. Remember the best times you had with them. I just did.........was the last moose my dad shot our last hunt together........brings a smile to my face every time.

SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

Sorry for the loss of your friend Phantom . I was 17 when I went to pick my friend up from school..knew the family well, I was part of their family pretty much, so I usually just knocked, open the door and went downstairs to Joe's room. Well one thursday I found him propped on the couch with a shotgun sitting between his knees..I will never forget that sight as long as I live. His parents were staying at the cottage..I still don't know why he did, I curse his grave some days (with love)....but damn he ****ed me off


Take care Phantom!

Yes I still curse him and the way he chose to end his life and watching the others who cannot take any better then I can. It baffles me why people do the things they do. I was thinking the other day, man can things get any worse latley, no work no job, lost my place. did not expect something this tragic and something in me regrets even saying that. Wonder what he was thinking, maybe he had problems none of us friends new he had. I don't know, to many people die to young. I just hope I get to work soon as sitting around like this just makes a guy think, and right now it doesn't help. I'm just there for all my other friends and my friends family. About all a guy can do. My uncle hung himself in his basement and my dad found him, we never expected that, but the hurt people leave behind, maybe there problems are gone, but they leave friends and family scarred.

lifes a bitch

[lilsundance]

Phantom, People who are that depressed don't think straight. All they are focused on are themselves and their problems. Most see no way out of what problems they have and feel that they are dead already. Seldom, if ever, do they think about the people what have to deal with the aftermath.
I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Just focus on the good times you had with him. Mourn him, but don't let it interfere with your life.

[Sage]

Sorry about the loss of your friend Phantom. Our family's prayers will be with you.

[Okotokian]

Originally Posted by lilsundance

Phantom, People who are that depressed don't think straight.

That's my theory. I don't know that it has much to do with their situation. Some people commit suicide while others in worse predicaments work through it. I really think those that commit suicide are suffering from depression or some other malady. They can't help it. It's not thoughtlessness or helplessness. There is not much point in saying they should have thought of others. They are ill. Women seem more willing to seek help, get on medication, etc. We males, we just drink or do this (three times as often as females).

Anyway, sorry for your loss Phantom.

Sorry to hear about your friend Phantom, very unfortunate that some people see the only way out is to do something like that. Like others have said it's not something that you can control.

I had a relative of mine commit suicide a couple years ago. We weren't that close or anything but it still sucks to see what it does to the family. I guess he had some problems in his past but things appeared to be going really well,good business, loving wife, loving family but just one day decided to hang himself. Why? no one know's for sure, it's an unfortunate thing that leaves so many questions and devastates loved ones.

Bottom line is don't beat yourself up over it. There's people we all know that have passed on due to circumstances they couldn't control (cancer,accidents etc...). I'm sure they would have loved to have the life that someone else threw away.

[Jamie Black R/T]

Phantom, people have killed themselves over less than what you stated you are going through personally. Easy way out??? i guess you could call it that

its hard not to....but like the other boys said...dont try to understand it...life cant be that bad....i dont care who you are..its never worth putting your loved ones through that...EVER

sorry to hear about this dude...keep your head up and try not to dwell..focus on finding that little bro of yours a rifle and getting him out this season!!

It is sad but true that often the people who need help the most are the least likely to take it.

My condolences.

[gunslinger]

when times are tough like this i head out to a cutline or a trail or even the mountains, i get out and go for a nice couple hour walk, i look for deer trails and you might even see a rabbit or something.....its something about the smell of spruce trees and the crisp air that takes your mind off things.
my condolances and hope the future is bright my friend.

[Grains]

I too, am sorry to hear of your loss. Same thing happened with one of my friends when I was 19. It's been many years, but I still think about him often. Take time to grieve and remember your friend, but don't let it drag you down. Carry on with your own life and remember those good times with your bud. God bless.

[altaberg]

Originally Posted by Okotokian

That's my theory. I don't know that it has much to do with their situation. Some people commit suicide while others in worse predicaments work through it. I really think those that commit suicide are suffering from depression or some other malady. They can't help it. It's not thoughtlessness or helplessness. There is not much point in saying they should have thought of others. They are ill. Women seem more willing to seek help, get on medication, etc. We males, we just drink or do this (three times as often as females).

Anyway, sorry for your loss Phantom.

x2, many people though experience the suicide of a friend or close one at some point.

The majority of people who commit suicide suffer from clinical depression (or another mental illness).
It takes very little for somebody like this to fall into a black hole. Even little things that shouldn't bother anybody else.

The signs are also very subtle and are often missed by even the closest friends and family.

The only solution (and an imperfect one that doesn't always work) is to get psychiatric treatment and medication. Medication works most of the time but has problems too. There are side effects to most neuropharmaka and it can be quite problematic if you have something else (liver or kidney disease, hypertension).

I had a good friend who suffered from severe depression for 30 years. He had to take medication pretty much all the time and didn't like it because of real or possibly perceived side effects. He claimed it diminished his memory and thinking. He tried every few years to get off the medication but it just didn't work. At age 57 he committed suicide by swallowing cyanide.
Nobody saw it coming even though many of his friends and family knew about his ongoing battle with depression.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Anger and guilt are normal reactions to any form of loss too.

good luck dealing with that.


People who