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Old 10-14-2019, 03:30 PM
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thirty-30 thirty-30 is offline
 
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Default Apologies to SNS2, all the others RE: my attitude

Hey,

Some of you probably won't remember me sort of flailing out of control a bit not so long back.

I really wasn't doing well and am pretty unhappy with the person that I was. Some of you will remember even farther back and I have never been the kind of person to represent himself like that.

All of the offers to pay for my club membership were appreciated, but I was able to take care of it on my own. It was a rough time but I'm back to work and everything is fine.

I've also really been working on taking control of my health for the first time in years. I quit a lot of things:

Down over 10 lbs since I started this journey .... feeling much, much more serene. At the worst of it I was smoking 2.5g of weed a day and drinking 2 liters of pepsi.

Quit soda....then quit refined sugar, used one success to build on the other.

Depression sneaks up on you if you let it and I am not that person. I think that meltdown was somewhere in the middle of all of this ... and I was really struggling and feeling terrible and again, I ask forgiveness. I haven't been well.

I'm trying to be a better me, but it all got the best of me right about then.

Thanks guys.

Artificial Sweeteners: 31 Days
Caffeine: 33 Days
Energy Drinks: 33 Days
Marijuana: 39 Days
Refined Sugar: 47 Days
Soda: 60 Days
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-Billy Currington (People are crazy)

Currently retired from hunting due to injury, but looking to get back on the wagon in 2020. Up in Yellowknife and missing my Alberta home big time.

This is the kind of thinking we are up against, vote Conservative this election!



Full Thread: https://imgur.com/a/y7RARBC

Last edited by thirty-30; 10-14-2019 at 03:42 PM.
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Old 10-14-2019, 03:36 PM
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A real man/person acknowledgees their mistakes and moves on. You just did. We are all human. We all have flaws.
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.....out of bounds.....but funny none the less!

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when a human eats another human, people act like it's the end if the friggin world. News coverage, tweets, blogs, outrage, Piers Morgan etcetc.

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Old 10-14-2019, 03:44 PM
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What's that song about all God's Children having problems ? Nothing to be ashamed about.

Grizz
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Old 10-14-2019, 03:54 PM
flydad&son flydad&son is offline
 
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Things sometimes get tough for all of us. Great to see you are coping. Don't forget that no matter where you are in this country, there is help available to you. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Stay Strong and healthy.
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Old 10-14-2019, 04:00 PM
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I truly wish you well.
One day at a time.
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Old 10-14-2019, 04:05 PM
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Glad you could come on here and bare it all for us..that takes a big person to do this sorta thing...good on you and Thanks for sharing with your AO family..we are all here to help whenever it is needed...
Glad things are looking up..
Zip
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Old 10-14-2019, 04:08 PM
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I've certainly suffered from a bozo eruption or two on here (no need to point out this as the understatement that it is ). It happens to many of us; I don't know if saying all of us would be true because there are also some very level heads on here, though I suspect they're just better at holding back on hitting enter when they've typed something that might qualify as venting. Sometimes its best to eat a Snickers and get rid of the 'hangries', other times there's lots more going on underneath like that apt iceberg comparison referring to all of the things you don't see or know about a persons life. Glad you're feeling a bit better.
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Last edited by CaberTosser; 10-14-2019 at 04:22 PM.
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Old 10-14-2019, 04:26 PM
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Twisted Canuck Twisted Canuck is offline
 
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Good for you, for taking control and doing the things you need to in order to be better physically and mentally. I think most of us here can relate to struggling in our lives, and dealing with depression. I certainly can, and had to make my own adjustments in life as well, even recently. Cut way back on drinking, and have stepped way back from social media and watching the news. Makes a person anxious and unhappy a lot of the time. I backed off on the heavy reading, political and social stuff. Been enjoying old western books (Max Brand, Zane Grey, Louis L'amour)....helps me to not get into the Spiral down. Anyway, good on you to own it, and a post up. Be well. TC
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Old 10-14-2019, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirty-30 View Post
Im trying to better me
Enough said. Wish you well and you got this.
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Old 10-14-2019, 05:49 PM
Tactical Lever Tactical Lever is offline
 
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I don't recall any misconduct or abrasiveness from you Thirty-30. Of course, as much as I like AO, I have to get away from it now and then. There is a thread or two that are perfect examples of why...

I always enjoyed your posts though, and good for you!

The more I hear and learn, the more important gut health seems to be. I have heavily modified my diet as well due to some food incompatibilities. Found my energy going lower and lower. A few changes, as well as pharmaceutical grade supplements, and vitamins is making a real difference. And it's not just physical, and the outside, but the way you feel, and think, and has an effect on hormone production as well. Mentally, I'm feeling quicker which I didn't really expect, and my reflexes seemed to speed up to former levels as well. It's different for sure, and I'm kind of excited to see where I can end up.
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Old 10-14-2019, 06:59 PM
spoiledsaskhunter spoiledsaskhunter is offline
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good on you buddy............but please don't think you're the only troubled one here AND don't think you are alone.
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  #12  
Old 10-14-2019, 09:08 PM
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I truly hope that your life improves, it is far better to read someone admitting they have been having issues and are trying to improve your situation rather than that other way.

Heal fast, lean on shoulders when you need to. The right people have big ones you can use if needed.
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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Old 10-14-2019, 09:19 PM
krthegunslinger krthegunslinger is offline
 
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Default Tough times

We’ve all been there at one time or another. Tough times don’t last but tough people do. Glad to see your tough.
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Old 10-15-2019, 04:57 PM
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You can and will get thru it.
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Old 10-15-2019, 06:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pikergolf View Post
I truly wish you well.
One day at a time.
Same here
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  #16  
Old 10-15-2019, 07:13 PM
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First step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Takes incredible strength to do that. Good on ya!
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  #17  
Old 10-16-2019, 06:13 AM
Rastus Rastus is offline
 
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The people have a problem with are the ones who realize they have a problem, and do nothing about it. This is what I told my next door neighbor, he had a problem, corrected it with drugs and now he is alright. I do not look at him with anything that ever happened.
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Old 10-16-2019, 07:14 AM
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I wish you all the best on your journey to health. Whatever it was you gave me is water off a duck's back. All in a day's work on AO Godspeed.
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  #19  
Old 10-17-2019, 01:31 PM
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Thanks guys.

Let me tell you something about weed.

I smoked every day for 7 plus years. I was injured at the job almost a year ago and progressed to smoking every day. 2.5g vaped a day.

I was always the person who said lol weed is harmless. Smoke as much of it as you want it isn’t addictive.

Well, it’s not. Physically.

Mentally is a different story. Yes, it helped me, an ADHD insomniac get to sleep and took the edge off my life to make it easier to cope. That is it’s charm and where it’s risks are.

Over time it robs us of the ability to cope with the stresses of the world because why should we? It’s so easy to vape up, put your feet up on the sofa and pet the cat and not feel...

And you lose your coping skills and ability to deal with stress.

I am sure there will be someone post up and say it’s just a conspiracy theory and I work for the UN or something... but it’s a very big deal to me.

I am having some problems in my life again today and I am really struggling to stay sober. Today has been a really bad day.

The only thing keeping me from it is if I fall off the horse on this I will on sugar and all the other things I have quit also.

I am miserable.

It’s not physically addictive but heavy smoking over a long period of time will seriously screw your mind up.

I got it. I promise my AO brothers I am not going to relapse, I have this for me ... but I just want to make very clear feeling like this sucks.

Don’t end up like me. I see a lot of pot threads.

If you can moderate, great, use it. If it helps you medically use it. But be aware some of us can’t moderate it and it is will ruin your life like it has mine.

It’s so insidious. You give up doing the things you love and your hobbies becsuse it’s so much easier to sit and get high and eat chips. The first time something makes you feel miserable it’s easy to quash it and not feel.

It’s not physically addictive ... but it sure is physiologically.

I feel awful.

Being sober is hard.
__________________

-Billy Currington (People are crazy)

Currently retired from hunting due to injury, but looking to get back on the wagon in 2020. Up in Yellowknife and missing my Alberta home big time.

This is the kind of thinking we are up against, vote Conservative this election!



Full Thread: https://imgur.com/a/y7RARBC

Last edited by thirty-30; 10-17-2019 at 01:38 PM.
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  #20  
Old 10-17-2019, 01:45 PM
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Support groups can be very beneficial to someone trying to sober up / get straight. Do you have a support network?
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  #21  
Old 10-17-2019, 01:58 PM
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thirty-30 thirty-30 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott N View Post
Support groups can be very beneficial to someone trying to sober up / get straight. Do you have a support network?
Nope. All of my friends either drink or smoke hard and everything in the NWT is dedicated to alchohol only. I don’t ... feel right in a room with people who have hardcore drinking issues because it isn’t the same.

I feel like I minimize their suffering and can’t relate to it.

I am pretty much on my own here.
__________________

-Billy Currington (People are crazy)

Currently retired from hunting due to injury, but looking to get back on the wagon in 2020. Up in Yellowknife and missing my Alberta home big time.

This is the kind of thinking we are up against, vote Conservative this election!



Full Thread: https://imgur.com/a/y7RARBC
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  #22  
Old 10-17-2019, 01:59 PM
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I feel for you.

Honestly.

I hope you beat this problem.

Airing laundry in a forum is damned tough to do, even difficult to read.

I hope others heed your warnings.
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #23  
Old 10-17-2019, 02:02 PM
AndrewM AndrewM is offline
 
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I am impressed on how many things you have quit. Keep your head up and be proud!
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  #24  
Old 10-17-2019, 02:03 PM
AndrewM AndrewM is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirty-30 View Post
Nope. All of my friends either drink or smoke hard and everything in the NWT is dedicated to alchohol only. I don’t ... feel right in a room with people who have hardcore drinking issues because it isn’t the same.

I feel like I minimize their suffering and can’t relate to it.

I am pretty much on my own here.
Maybe time to pack up shop and head somewhere else?
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Old 10-17-2019, 02:05 PM
bobtodrick bobtodrick is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirty-30 View Post
Nope. All of my friends either drink or smoke hard and everything in the NWT is dedicated to alchohol only. I don’t ... feel right in a room with people who have hardcore drinking issues because it isn’t the same.

I feel like I minimize their suffering and can’t relate to it.

I am pretty much on my own here.
Spent many years in AA. They will accept you, no questions asked. You might have to go to a couple of different groups (hopefully is more than one where you are) to find a fit...but most groups work on the basis that an addictive personality is and addictive personality no matter what the choice of substance.
Good luck.
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Old 10-17-2019, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobtodrick View Post
Spent many years in AA. They will accept you, no questions asked. You might have to go to a couple of different groups (hopefully is more than one where you are) to find a fit...but most groups work on the basis that an addictive personality is and addictive personality no matter what the choice of substance.
Good luck.
Thanks ...

Very good point.

Also, Ken thanks as well means a lot from you.

Re: Moving?

My wife makes very good money here on a job she has held for 15 years. It’s not in the cards for awhile. We want to move to Alberta eventually but can’t do it right yet.
__________________

-Billy Currington (People are crazy)

Currently retired from hunting due to injury, but looking to get back on the wagon in 2020. Up in Yellowknife and missing my Alberta home big time.

This is the kind of thinking we are up against, vote Conservative this election!



Full Thread: https://imgur.com/a/y7RARBC
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  #27  
Old 10-17-2019, 03:46 PM
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I appreciate the thread you have started thirty-30. It is inspirational to read you are on the road to recovery. Thanks for sharing your journey?

Stay strong brother.


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  #28  
Old 10-17-2019, 05:53 PM
Mb-MBR Mb-MBR is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thirty-30 View Post
Nope. All of my friends either drink or smoke hard and everything in the NWT is dedicated to alcohol only. I don’t ... feel right in a room with people who have hardcore drinking issues because it isn’t the same.

I feel like I minimize their suffering and can’t relate to it.

I am pretty much on my own here.
Hey thirty-30, takes guts to do what you just did on this forum but if I were you I would redefine what a friend is...! Although my issues do not appear as severe as yours are, I quickly realized who my true friends were or weren't when I quit drinking 40 years ago...…..it is going to be tough, temptations will always be near and it doesn't help if your friends consume both products you're trying to avoid.

I spent many a night alone away from temptations usually in the woods just so I didn't cave. It will get tougher before it gets easier but if you hang in there you will reach a point where it gets easier...….a lot of rapids to shoot on the journey though. I did it solo...…..that is not recommended for everyone and there are support systems out there. But I firmly believed if I wasn't committed enough to quit, no support system would help me...…...I'm not saying that's right, it was just what I used to motivate me when the going got tough.

Good luck and there are huge benefits to you once you complete this journey......
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  #29  
Old 10-18-2019, 08:48 AM
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good on ya to take ownership of you and your actions...wish more would instead of pointing fingers and laying blame...hope the best for you.
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Old 10-18-2019, 11:20 AM
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Ken07AOVette Ken07AOVette is offline
 
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Mb-MBR touched on something very important.

You have to broom the toxic people. The enablers.

Your path is an extremely narrow one with what appears to be sharpened electric daggers on both sides if you fall off, held by 'acquaintances'.

This is much the same as dealing with the death of a loved one, the ONLY thing that ever helps in the end, is time. Getting there is damned tough, but looking back when later on we all realize it.

Find a smart sober clean dry person you can lean on, and just go day by day.

You can do it, we have faith in you.
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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