Child custody questions

[VXBolt92]

Hey guys,

looking to see if i can find an edge here from anyone who may have delt with a similar situation, and how they haandled it.

I currentley have shared custody of my 6 yeearr old son with my ex. She is continually un employeed, and alot of evidence points to that she suffers from depression. She stay in bed all day, wont get a job, bounces from realtionship to realtionship, and is constantly moving. She also happens to miss the sports events my son is registered for quite frequently and misses all the school activities even though they will send out multiple emails to remind parents of the events. Ive been told she has been using drugs aswell. I have lots of people wwho tell me whats going on, but nobody will give me evidence or stand up in court because they are her friend or sister.

I feel she doesnt provide a stable enviroment and lacks finacial needs to support him. Laywers have told me that great unlesss i have concrete evidence id be throwing my money out the window. Social workers have told me that unless they are board only one complaint they will not investigate unless the child physical or mental capacity is directly harmed.

Im feeling frustrated with the system and feel like im letting my son down. Can anyone share something that may shed an angle i can take on this in any way shape or form that may help me get my son under full custody any into a better enviomentt?

Thanks guys

[AndrewM]

You can always call child services and they will investigate if they feel it is warranted. Can be completely ananomous as well. Document everything that you see and hear. It WILL come in handy when you go to court. Obtain as much evidence as you can. Unfortunately the system is stacked against men. Get the right judge and you may get lucky.

[AndrewM]

Also pull the attendance record at the school. If she is that bad your son may have a pile of lates or inexcused absences. Courts don’t like that either.

[Muller]

Get a court order to have your child’s mental health evaluated.
Every thing will come out.
At that point you can petition for custody.
Good luck.
It’s gona cost you.

[GMX]

I could write a book on it unfortunately after four long years of experience . My ex had 60+ criminal charges over a span of four years B&E poisson of stolen goods etc. Spent over 150 grand on my lawyer not including loss of wages a bad situation to say the least. Child counsellors helped but you need to disclose that there input may end up in court before hand witch makes finding one hard. I did everything possible to put it in my favour including changing carriers.
Keep a daily detailed journal on what she says and how your child is feeling saying and acting. Gather any evidence you can prove do what you feel is the right thing for them. I took Defecto custody of my boy and served her with papers the same day to start the custody battle.
Talk with the best lawyer you can afford it does matter if your around Edmonton I can recommend a few
Feel free to PM me anytime

[GMX]

Oh yea I have had sole custody of my son a no contact order on his mother for over five years now he’s doing great growing up to be a good person. It’s worth it!

[Ken07AOVette]

I am truly sad to say you are in for a huge battle. My wife's best friend's son went through the same thing with a drug-addicted ex and two little girls. He happened to get a very liberal judge who stood hard on the ground that the children should be with the mother even though she was selling drugs, flipped out in court many times and was reported to the RCMP for drug use, child abuse, threatening the ex, and weapons charges. Nothing changed until a sympathetic judge heard the case finally. By that time he was financially destroyed and had to declare bankruptcy. Social Services believe it or not had no teeth at all in this case. In the end he received 100% guardianship of the little girls but the cost was immense. I sat with him in court and offered advice but the problem was the liberal judge l, she just did not care at all about him everything was about the woman.

[amosfella]

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

I am truly sad to say you are in for a huge battle. My wife's best friend's son went through the same thing with a drug-addicted ex and two little girls. He happened to get a very liberal judge who stood hard on the ground that the children should be with the mother even though she was selling drugs, flipped out in court many times and was reported to the RCMP for drug use, child abuse, threatening the ex, and weapons charges. Nothing changed until a sympathetic judge heard the case finally. By that time he was financially destroyed and had to declare bankruptcy. Social Services believe it or not had no teeth at all in this case. In the end he received 100% guardianship of the little girls but the cost was immense. I sat with him in court and offered advice but the problem was the liberal judge l, she just did not care at all about him everything was about the woman.

A friend of mine had a similar situation, and was representing himself. She was very against him. So, he made a motion for her to recuse herself due to bias and prejudice. She overruled his motion. He went at it a few times to get the overrule.

Then he got the transcripts where she had shown bias, and his motion, and appealed. He had a new judge for the next actual hearing. There was supposed to be a hearing, and he went in with the appeal filing, and told the judge that there wouldn't be a hearing until appeals produced a decision.

There were no kids involved in the matter though. Objection and overrule or sustain it is very much key. They seem to try to avoid you going to appeals by refusing a ruling, rather say 'I'll allow it", "I don't see the relevance", etc.

It can be done on your own, but it will be a lot more work, and maybe time off, but there are offices in the court to help you with the paperwork. Or you could hire just a paralegal to help you write it up. They cannot give legal advice however.

[Ken07AOVette]

The man-hater Liberal feminist Judges are horrible. I know of 2 that travel the circuits, I just cringe when we have to deal with them. Happily lately I have been dealing in Sask Provincial Court, so we do not see these 2.
They must be very happily unmarried, you know the type. "I am miserable, and unless everyone else is miserable I won't be happy".
The trouble is they are so blinded by rage or Vietnam flash backs or whatever has happened in their lives to make them habitually angry with men their court is a travesty.
And horribly unfair to men, and children.

[AndrewM]

I know it isn't easy but try to keep a level head and the most important part is have PATIENCE. Helping a couple people I know go through this, I know it isn't easy. Don't be scared to ask for help and talk with people when you need it as I understand it is painfully frustrating.

[ghostguy6]

If you can afford it hire a private investigation company to keep track of your ex. Request at least one female investigator. Judges always seem to find the testimony from a female to be more reliable when it comes to child matters. Request that the company documents any drug or violence related issues with photo or video evidence. I have been present when the judge took the matter much more seriously if the person was willing to spend their own money on the investigators.

There is a form 7 listed under the Mental Health Act (https://www.albertahealthservices.ca...-mha-frm-7.pdf) where you can go before a judge and request she be psychologically evaluated if you feel she is a harm to herself or anyone. Depression an drug use combined usually result in the form being signed even if she is not immediately a danger. If the judge signs off on it, this will be of great value to you in future cases as it proves she is not fit to look after a child.

If your child begins to show signs of depression I would have him evaluated as well. Living with an unstable parent can be very hard on a child and lead to problems down the road. You could also use this to establish a dangerous environment at the mothers house. Hopefully it never gets to this point but document any strange injuries your child receives, preferably by a medical doctor. When a doctor feels the injury could have been caused by neglect or abuse, social services deals with things much faster.

Last piece of advice I can give you is to stress that your issue is the child's welfare, safety and security. Make it a point to stress that this is not a vendetta against your ex but looking for the best from your child.

Of all the cases I have had to deal with in the past, child custody cases have always been the slowest and most painful to deal with. You must be prepared to accept this fact. Even if you can prove your ex is not fit to look after the child at the moment there is a chance she could regain custody at a later point. I wish you good luck

[amosfella]

Originally Posted by ghostguy6

Last piece of advice I can give you is to stress that your issue is the child's welfare, safety and security. Make it a point to stress that this is not a vendetta against your ex but looking for the best from your child.

Not legal advice, just observation. The judges tend to react more favorably if you say you fear that the child is in danger of harm if left in the current circumstances. Danger and harm are words they react more strongly to.

[VXBolt92]

Originally Posted by amosfella

Not legal advice, just observation. The judges tend to react more favorably if you say you fear that the child is in danger of harm if left in the current circumstances. Danger and harm are words they react more strongly to.

See thats the thing. And to respond to ghostguy6, aswell. I wish to takee custody until she recives help. I understand the importancce of a HEALTHY realtionship for my son with his mother. I just need something that is gonna resignate for her because so far everything i have tried has just failed miserablly.

[mattthegorby]

Originally Posted by VXBolt92

See thats the thing. And to respond to ghostguy6, aswell. I wish to takee custody until she recives help. I understand the importancce of a HEALTHY realtionship for my son with his mother. I just need something that is gonna resignate for her because so far everything i have tried has just failed miserablly.

Nothing to add strategically, but with your attitude you will make the right decisions for your son - and for your ex.

Your son is lucky to have you.

Matt

[liar]

i went through this over thirty years ago and it amazes me how little the system has changed . the starting point is that the woman is right and the dad is wrong so as a dad , the deck is stacked against you right out of the gate and its an uphill battle that never seems to end . even if the mother gets caught up in lies in court the judges seem to side with them . makes my blood boil just thinking about it .
i dont have any advice that you havent already read on here . i was served 12 times in ten years so get ready for a long and expensive battle . the real crime is that all the $$ spent on lawyers time taken off work is money that you dont get to spend on your family .
good luck , i hope it ends well for you .

[Xbolt7mm]

Wish you all the luck in the world, sad to hear these things