My brother, committed suicide. - Page 3

chauncy · #61 03-17-2018, 08:03 AM

So sorry yo hear this. My sincere condolences to you.

Sent from my SM-G930W8 using Tapatalk

Newf · #62 03-17-2018, 08:20 AM

Sorry for your loss.

leo · #63 03-17-2018, 08:24 AM

So very sorry for your loss.
Leo.

Dick284 · #64 03-17-2018, 08:24 AM

My sincerest condolences.

bat119 · #65 03-17-2018, 08:34 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss

Wolftrapper · #66 03-17-2018, 08:35 AM

Very sorry for your loss.

58thecat · #67 03-17-2018, 08:47 AM

I know you hear it and will many a time more, sorry for your loss.
The memories of hunting and fishing, enjoying time together will soon turn the tears to a smile.

scesfiremedic · #68 03-17-2018, 08:53 AM

I saw this the other day and I thought I’d share it as I think it is well written:

I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.

I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents...

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too.

If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

newguy · #69 03-17-2018, 09:03 AM

No words here. I can’t imagine how you are felling. Faith, Famility and Friends can help. This community is strong, please reach out if you need to.

Darren N · #70 03-17-2018, 09:30 AM

So sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

covey ridge · #71 03-17-2018, 10:26 AM

Fish along
When I see threads like this I never know the words to say. When I see the hurt of others I also see the many many that care.

ReconWilly · #72 03-17-2018, 10:41 AM

Very painful to read these stories.

Been through it with both family and friends.

My own mother even made a failed attempt in my early teens, my world changed that day.

May you all find peace.

A couple of video's i watch every couple weeks, maybe they can help someone who is struggling, please watch them and share.

And a picture of a brown i netted for my buddy on Tuesday, there WILL be better days.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcf5b3mENJU

https://m.youtube.com/watch?t=3s&v=hJLxJhMstrg

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i_47ehqPsLI

ctd · #73 03-17-2018, 03:16 PM

Sorry to hear. Make sure that you look after yourself, family and friends. If you or others need help make sure you reach out right away. Lots of resources out there. The biggest one is right here on this forum.

Again I am sorry for your loss.

Little red riding hood · #74 03-17-2018, 05:02 PM

Send me a pm with an email address and I'll send a donation to help cover funeral cost.

deerhunter · #75 03-17-2018, 06:50 PM

My Condolences
Lost my daughter to suicide on March 30,2007

silverdoctor · #76 03-17-2018, 06:53 PM

Don't even know what to say. Sorry to hear it. One of my siblings has made a few attempts.

roper1 · #77 03-17-2018, 08:39 PM

Condolences, friend or family unexpectedly, that is a tough one.

Gerald J · #78 03-17-2018, 09:04 PM

Fishalong,

Like so many others I want to say something but don't really know what to say. I'm in tears as I write this. I am truly sorry for you loss. Your story and that of your brother opened up the floodgates of memories. I can't believe it's been over 30 years since we lost our brother under very similar circumstances.

I don't know if you're thinking you could have helped in some way, you could have prevented it, etc., you did what you could I'm sure and you are not the one who decided to end things. Also, regarding your brother, one moment of indecision or weakness or whatever I'm trying to say does not make a terrible person!

As a guy with a fishing handle, I'm assuming you've seen the movie "A River Runs Through It". I'm reminded of the father's words at the end of the movie... "You can love completely without complete understanding".

Godspeed. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

sureshot · #79 03-17-2018, 09:10 PM

So sorry for your loss. I lost a good friend to suicide when I was a teenager back in the 80's. Nobody saw it coming as he was always so happy go lucky.

outlaw'd · #80 03-17-2018, 09:55 PM

Sorry for your loss. Condolences from my family to yours.

KUDUHNTR · #81 03-18-2018, 09:07 AM

Sorry for your loss

SHORTMAG · #82 03-18-2018, 10:59 AM

My deepest heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Words cannot convey what you must be feeling.

All life is made up of, is a bunch of memories. My greatest fear is that someday...I won't remember them at all...my parents, their relatives, my wife, kids, grandkids, brothers and sisters they fill my head and heart with only the good stuff.
We all seem to take the best ones and keep them in our hearts, but sometimes the bad ones tend to stick in our heads and consume us for a bit...some forever.
Remember and cherish the great times you had...life truly is short.
God bless you and the family...Kevin (shortmag)

Fish along · #83 03-18-2018, 12:51 PM

Thank you so much for all of your condolences, very kind replies and pms, it really does help to hear from others at such a tragic time,I see for sure that I'm not alone and that other people are dealing with the same anguish at this moment, love, care and understanding are some of the most important tools needed to try to help someone with these terrible addictions,I have to admit that I had no idea of how hard this is to overcome. This has put a whole new way of thinking about how the mind reacts to such things.I also offer my condolences to all the people on here who lost loved ones through addiction, thank you all...DAVID.

shr970 · #84 03-18-2018, 02:14 PM

Sorry for you loss

350 mag · #85 03-18-2018, 05:39 PM

That's horrible.

So sorry for your families loss.

Rockman · #86 03-18-2018, 08:44 PM

Dude, I am so sorry to hear that! I can only imagine how tough it must be to deal with. Hang in there, bro!

nube · #87 03-18-2018, 09:01 PM

Like other have said before, what can I say to help and I feel like nothing I say will help much. Hope you know people do care and we are all sad to hear of the loss like this. Things like this makes my job some of the worst days of my career. I have gone to countless number of suicides from 13-real old. It is never easy for me. The worst is dealing with struggling family when I am there. It is a tough tough thing to have happen to any family. I wish you all the best and hopefully you can find some peace and comfort somehow.

LEGZ · #88 03-18-2018, 10:46 PM

Sorry to hear this. RIP fellow outdoorsman.

wildbill · #89 03-18-2018, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fish along

My younger brother,who was one of my best friends,got into gambling some years ago and ended up going to rehab for gambling. It seemed to everyone that he'd gotten past it,until just a few days ago I got a text from a friend that he'd gone missing and that the police were searching for him,the next text I got, was that they found him,which was the next day. He had driven to a remote spot in the bush and shot himself in the head...unbelievable..So going back to a week or so before this,he'd taken out a bunch of credit cards and maxed them all out in the VLTs.I wonder how many other victims or potential victims are out there,suffering from what must be a debilitating disease.My brother was a good kid he had a good job,he had many friends,we camped, fished and hunted all of our lives. We never once in our lives had any sort of bad feelings toward each other,always positive and always protective..I guess what's really hard to understand is why he didn't say something me,which makes know that he must have been in total anguish, I'm crying now as I'm printing this.The good part is the great memories, his first big fish his first moose hunt all the camping and great conversations,which,no matter what we started talking about always ended up being a fishing or hunting discussion. I put this on here as sort of a memorial to him..May he rest in peace. Thank you AO folks for the great conversations that I can usually find on here, it keeps me well anchored .

Fish along, my heart goes out to you, your family, and, friends.
Addiction is so powerful, as is depression, hate hearing stuff like this.
Stay strong.

BloodHound70 · #90 03-19-2018, 09:03 AM

I'm glad that you have found some comfort from this forum. As I have said in the past, we may like to bicker and argue on topics like a dysfunctional family, but when one hurts we all hurt and band together. My condolences for your loss my AO brother.............

BH