Funny/Ackward Moments...

[Twisted Canuck]

Ok, my odd contribution....

I was an usher at a friend's relatively informal wedding. Some friends, family there. Some guy with his son sat next to me, was a strange twitchy guy but I didn't know him. So in the middle of Preacher Man's sermon about the sanctity of marriage and blah blah....buddy next to me stands up, and starts 'prophesying' and saying he is Jesus...my friend (the groom) has this horrified deer in headlights look, Preacher Man looks stunned, eventually ' Jesus' man winds down, nobody had a clue who he was or what he said. I'm looking for the *sign* to take him for a coffee...dead silence. Then Preacher Man sort of composes himself, looks at his notes, and tries to start again. 'Jesus' son at this point has started to crawl through the feet of the wedding party....Preacher Man tries to compose himself and starts again in mid sanctify, and 'Jesus' leaps up again with an expostulation about some spiritual travesty. At this point I made an executive decision and decided to help him with the cramp he may have had in his neck, bent him a bit, wrist lock and chicken wing, and started walking him to the door...he starts leaning into me hard, shouting for his son 'Zion' (I kid you not)...so I really applied some pressure on that wrist and his neck, opened the door with his head, and helped him out.

I came back in to dead silence, then heard a little child's voice...

'Mommy, did that bad man just throw Jesus out??'.....

Yep. I'm going to hell. I know a lot of people, but so far I'm the only one who can claim to have opened a door with 'Jesus' head while throwing him out of a wedding.