The elderly

[pikergolf]

My Father passed Jan. 22. He had dementia, and was somewhat paranoid. I cannot imagine the suffering he would have gone through had he lived through this scare. Locked away without family contact, staff wearing masks.... I am so grateful that he passed when he did. If you are a praying person, please say a prayer for those shut in's with dementia or any other condition that gives them limited understanding of what is going on. It breaks my heart to think of the fear and confusion that must be going on in some of the minds of those in homes. And maybe a thank you prayer for the staff in those places.

[waldedw]

Yes I hear you loud and clear, the MIL is in the LCC home, they have been locked down since March 20th, no visitors, she is 90 and has dementia, she gets the nurse to call us she thinks nobody knows where she is cause we don't come see her.

They were confined to their rooms so she thinks everyone else has moved out and she is the only one there, she doesn't understand about the virus, she is scared and the really sad part is we cannot go into the building to see her.

Luckily her grandson's wife works there so she has a bit of family that has access to her, we have face timed her but she doesn't understand why we can't come see her, but there is nothing we can do, it is horrible hard on the wife.

[bobtodrick]

Agree 100%. My mom had dementia and passed last year.... I think she would have been terrified.
I hope the people here who bemoan the fact they can’t go camping realize how much worse it could be.

[Burrowing Owl]

So sorry for your loss, but totally understand your concerns that it may have happened a few months later. I have a relative who is alone due to this, and is not in the least tech savvy.

[calgarychef]

Yea, it’s a bitch. I can’t imagine being locked down in a seniors home.
The one I used to work at seems to be doing things right to avoid an outbreak but **** what a way to live your last few years.

[Zip]

My mom is in a bad way with dementia right now and has been in a care home in Manitoba for a few years now, she cannot understand why I keep saying that I will visit as soon as I can, I give excuses that she will understand without saying anything about this virus, I don't want to scare her and she's pretty fragile right now. It sucks let me tell ya, as I have lied more to mom in this past few months than I did when I was a kid trying to grow up....life is never very fair, at least not right now anyway..
Sadly
Zip

[flyguyd]

Both my folks were in a long term care home. Dad had dementia as well and this would have been rough on him had he not passed away at the end of February. My mom is still in there ,i havent seen her in the flesh in almost 2 months. But with COPD she is high risk.
This has been hard on the old folks, thank goodness for I-Padsor mom would really be lost right now

[silver]

A friend of mine has his 90 year old mother in a home and he says he talks to her every day. I suggested he arrange to have her come to a window while he is on the phone. He says the staff will bring her out to a picnic table outside and he can talk to her there. They can still maintain a safe distance but have some face time.

[pinelakeperch]

Sorry for your loss

Reading some of these stories has been good for me, and is giving me some perspective. Thank you for sharing, and I wish the best for all of your loved ones.

[fishtank]

Double post

[fishtank]

Originally Posted by Zip

My mom is in a bad way with dementia right now and has been in a care home in Manitoba for a few years now, she cannot understand why I keep saying that I will visit as soon as I can, I give excuses that she will understand without saying anything about this virus, I don't want to scare her and she's pretty fragile right now. It sucks let me tell ya, as I have lied more to mom in this past few months than I did when I was a kid trying to grow up....life is never very fair, at least not right now anyway..
Sadly
Zip

It’s ok to lied with good intentions...

Hopefully things will change for the future for senior care. Anyone saw the story about that Toronto senior housing, where. The resident died in their own feces and was starving. Because the Chinese worker left them there , Made me really and sick to my stomach .

[spoiledsaskhunter]

mil is 95 and in long term care. she's been isolated for quite awhile now........recently they started putting her in a wheelchair and bringing her to the doorway area (only on nice days, of course), where the sil and a family member of her choice can socially distance and visit with her. it's sure nice for her to be able to visit, as she too, could not figure out why no one was coming to see her.

therapy for the family too.

[Sooner]

Condolences Piker. People not being able to see their elderly loved ones except through a glass door must be tough. A good family friend has went from being with his wife twice daily to seeing her through a glass door only a few times in 2 months. It is weighing on him as he was there to help her with her daily living in a nursing home.

[MrDave]

My wife works in a senior's home. You can imagine the loneliness, but she lives it. Several have already given up. Couple have died. They stop eating, brushing their hair, and some are already trying suicide. Others who are able bodied are trapped inside, unable to go for a drive or visit their spouse in other homes.

What it is doing to the employees? Well they live in fear. Fear of taking the virus into the building, and fear of bringing it home if it does. Fear of simply giving them a hug. I think the wife's worse time was when her grandfather substitute passed away and she couldn't hug him.
I'm guessing that many don't know that some of your elders become substitutes for our lacking family. Some remind us of our passed elders, some are what we wish we had in our life. My 7 year old daughter writes the odd little note with a picture to the one who fills that need for her. Strange how much those notes mean to Mary, someone my child has only gotten to know her from time talking to her in the parking lot.
I was working maintenance in an active living residence until I got crippled up. There were people living there that never seen family in the good times. The loneliness in homes is chronic. It never surprised me how many family would crawl out of the shadows when the elder died. It's like they just want to shove them away so they don't have to watch the decline.

My wife now sends me to the stores, because her anxiety has gotten terrible. All it takes is someone to cough and she's ready to run. She has been unable to enjoy going to spend my money, and wander around stores.

And here's the part that has been a total **** off. Her main way of de-stressing, is to enjoy the wilderness. This has been one of the things we always have done. We have spent more days wandering the bushes than most. I grew up living in the bush country. No one lived west of me in Alberta., Yet it's too dangerous to do in some minds.
For 2 months now certain people have been loudly spouting their beliefs that she should stay home and lock herself in. You will.... You know the crap that has been said. She and her co-workers have been slowly fighting for their sanity, and having people tell her she's bad. We have been isolated since this virus hit Canada, not since we were told to. During the start of the outbreak, I was going to Calgary every week for appointments and that was ok but fishing was bad.
Feel for the workers as well as the elders. Feel for the families of the workers who have to hold them while they cry. Most of all think of who's holding the elders hands while THEY cry.

[pikergolf]

Originally Posted by MrDave

My wife works in a senior's home. You can imagine the loneliness, but she lives it. Several have already given up. Couple have died. They stop eating, brushing their hair, and some are already trying suicide. Others who are able bodied are trapped inside, unable to go for a drive or visit their spouse in other homes.

What it is doing to the employees? Well they live in fear. Fear of taking the virus into the building, and fear of bringing it home if it does. Fear of simply giving them a hug. I think the wife's worse time was when her grandfather substitute passed away and she couldn't hug him.
I'm guessing that many don't know that some of your elders become substitutes for our lacking family. Some remind us of our passed elders, some are what we wish we had in our life. My 7 year old daughter writes the odd little note with a picture to the one who fills that need for her. Strange how much those notes mean to Mary, someone my child has only gotten to know her from time talking to her in the parking lot.
I was working maintenance in an active living residence until I got crippled up. There were people living there that never seen family in the good times. The loneliness in homes is chronic. It never surprised me how many family would crawl out of the shadows when the elder died. It's like they just want to shove them away so they don't have to watch the decline.

My wife now sends me to the stores, because her anxiety has gotten terrible. All it takes is someone to cough and she's ready to run. She has been unable to enjoy going to spend my money, and wander around stores.

And here's the part that has been a total **** off. Her main way of de-stressing, is to enjoy the wilderness. This has been one of the things we always have done. We have spent more days wandering the bushes than most. I grew up living in the bush country. No one lived west of me in Alberta., Yet it's too dangerous to do in some minds.
For 2 months now certain people have been loudly spouting their beliefs that she should stay home and lock herself in. You will.... You know the crap that has been said. She and her co-workers have been slowly fighting for their sanity, and having people tell her she's bad. We have been isolated since this virus hit Canada, not since we were told to. During the start of the outbreak, I was going to Calgary every week for appointments and that was ok but fishing was bad.
Feel for the workers as well as the elders. Feel for the families of the workers who have to hold them while they cry. Most of all think of who's holding the elders hands while THEY cry.

My Dad was in a good home, the staff was caring and attentive. Most importantly they were happy. It was his third home as he had to keep moving as his condition deteriorated. The last place, Masterpiece Southridge in Medicine Hat, and I get chocked up saying this, was the best. I cannot say enough good things about this place. Anyway, we have seen three places and a lot of staff, the good ones I just want to hug. You tell your wife for me, thank you and be blessed, I think about the staff in those places often. It is not an easy job, the good ones have a real rapport with the old timers, they are worth more than they make. It takes a special person for those jobs. Maybe it is because I sit at home to much, but my thoughts often drift to nursing homes in this troubling time.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Originally Posted by pikergolf

You tell your wife for me, thank you and be blessed, I think about the staff in those places often.

Tell her that from me, too, MrDave!

My son works in a home and I know he puts on a brave front, but I know it's tough to see how this affects the residents. It's tough to not know if the next time he goes to work, a person whom he developed a fondness for may no longer be there.

[Howard Hutchinson]

Indeed it is scary for these Folks. We lost Mom 5 years ago (at 80 years) to emphysema after 15 years of her struggling with it and the last 2 or 3 were horrible for her. She was always quite concerned about catching any cold...If this had come along while she was with us, it would have worried her to the Angels.

[zabbo]

Sorry for all your losses. My Mom passed 2 years ago. She was still very sharp minded, just very frail bodied. Lived in her own home with quite a bit of help from family. She would not have dealt with this virus stuff very well.

A while back I heard a wise person say, "Getting old ain't for sissies!" My days are passing faster and faster.