Has anyone ever gone through an uncontested divorce?

[CptnBlues63]

Originally Posted by gunnargsd

Wondering if anyone has experience going through an uncontested divorce? The kind where you both agree on everything and just have the paperwork filed and bam its done Just wonder what your experiences were using this method.......asking for a friend.

My divorce 25 yr's or so back was uncontested. She had already given me custody of my son just before he turned two (more like dumped him on me so she could run wild and free.......lol........whatever, I was very happy about it and raised him all alone for most of a decade) and we had been living separate for a year or so.

I didn't take anything when I left except my clothes and car. I left her in AB and moved to Vancouver. She moved back to SK shortly after that and year later when I returned to SK I told her she was going to file (you had to be living in province for a year to file) on the grounds of irreconcilable differences or I would in a year on the ground of adultery. She filed. It went through with no hassle. It's worth noting I didn't ask for child support or anything from her and since we'd already divided physical assets. It was swift and painless.

[omega50]

Like many before me I initially intended to have an amicable split to save time and expense and pain. But as we worked our agreement, her friends became Arm Chair Lawyers and started pushing her to ask for more and telling her was getting ripped off. I made the mistake of trying to be the nice guy and leaving while her and the kids continued to live in the house which I had already paid off.
So, I had the additional burden of finding a place to live at my expense-she moved in room mates-a friend and a sister and started charging them rent to live in the house I had bought and paid for. So she was generating about 2k a month in additional income and not reporting it and keeping that fact from me.

So after 5 years of this bull poop and her rejecting every offer, I sued for occupancy rent, which was the impetus for her to finally settle.

Do it right the first time.
Get a nasty lawyer and hit her hard.

[Stinky Buffalo]

Have a good friend who is going through a collaborative divorce.

All is good and fine until one party starts to get weird about it. In this case, I quite sure that she is getting bad advice from some of her friends. I think in this case she was led to beleive that she would make out a lot better than she will once the separation of assets is complete.

[W921]

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

[Tfng]

W921 it sounds like you should lean on and talk to friend. I’ve recently separated myself.

Otherwise accept it and start making a new plan. You don’t really want to be with her now anyway do you?

[AndrewM]

Originally Posted by W921

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

I am so sorry to hear this. Remember the most important people in your life need you now more than ever: your children. Be there for them. Be there together and you will get through it. Depending on your income you may be able to get legal aid. Also if she left the children you would be entitled to child support as well pending your children's age. Take it one day at a time and try to avoid looking at the everything together as it will be overwhelming. You will get through this and you will eventually look back on it as the best thing that ever happened to you.

[AndrewM]

Legally you can start a separation agreement. She could deliver you the divorce papers at any time but you need to be legally separated for a year and have child custody and finances settled before you can file for divorce. Until then you really don't have to do much if you cannot get a hold of her. Finances aren't that difficult. You write down all your assets and all your debt and split it in the middle. Inheritances and anything prior to the marriage isn't included.

[Dynamic]

Originally Posted by W921

What do you do if your wife of twenty five years suddenly leaves you and your kids without warning and won't even answer her phone?
What if you just can't believe it?
Am I going to get a registered letter from her lawyer in a year?
She is coming into inheritance.

Not knowing what's going to happen is driving me crazy with stress.
I dont want to sell off. Cash split of assets won't replace it.

Lawyer I spoke with wants $5000 just for retainer.
I can't believe this.Doesn't seem real. When it starts to feel real i can't function.

I can't live in town or on an acreage somewhere. Its about way of life and not being able to change.

Physically I can't start over. Had to postpone surgery because of her taking off.
I just can't believe it.

Sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how tough that would be. But as tough as it is remember there will be a time when you come out the other side. Feel the pain now and realize it is genuine and real but don't stay in that place too long. It will come in waves but remain strong and think about the future.

When your feeling up to it and can stay focused start finding a lawyer. I don't remember my retaining fee but it sure wasn't 5k. Even before consulting a lawyer just create a very simple hand written page and create of list of stuff you need to do. Child support, bank accounts, RRSP's, shared assets.........figure out exactly where you are now and where you need to be and the end of it. Get in the drivers seat of this situation because waiting for a letter in a year will hurt all over again. Think of it as ripping off a Band-Aid now so you can start to build a better future.

One more tip, document everything! Especially if she just got up and left you and the kids. Document and keep organized and focused! Hoping for the best for you.