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  #31  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:48 PM
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Every time I go fishing.

'don't catch any feeesh!'
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #32  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:49 PM
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Not something she said exactly-But the only time I ever heard my ex-wife laugh in 30 years was when /if I badly hurt/cut myself.
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  #33  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:54 PM
.257Weatherby .257Weatherby is offline
 
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I used to get 99% Sound and 1% advice.
Nice and quiet now...........
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  #34  
Old 01-22-2020, 03:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .257Weatherby View Post
I used to get 99% Sound and 1% advice.
Nice and quiet now...........
If you mean you moved on, that was a very good 1200th post.
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Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #35  
Old 01-22-2020, 04:35 PM
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No one admits to Go eff yourself I can't be the only one when wifey is .


Mine likes to tell me the same thing at least twice if it is about something that needs to be done or coming up. Then wonders why i'm looking at her like that on the 3rd explanation.


I also get the something is wrong with the car speech, weeks after the noise started.


Giving directions, I don't want your hand drawn map(easy as google). Let me write it out like I need to do it so I know as I go. 20 mins later I am still explaining to turn left here, turn at that street there and you will see your destination.
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  #36  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:16 PM
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I feel like just being quiet. Run mofo run
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"Me neither but it's all in the eye of the beer holder"
norwestalta

.....out of bounds.....but funny none the less!

LC

"Funny how when a bear eats another bear, no one bats an eye, but......

when a human eats another human, people act like it's the end if the friggin world. News coverage, tweets, blogs, outrage, Piers Morgan etcetc.

Go figure." -Huntinstuff
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  #37  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:25 PM
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Twisted Canuck Twisted Canuck is offline
 
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"Don't be mad, but...." And then tells me something absolutely guaranteed to make me mad.

Or even worse....

"This is just an idea, but can we...." ....which usually involves me doing a whole lot of something while getting a whole lot of advice from someone who knows virtually nothing about what it is that I am doing because she 'had an idea'......
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  #38  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Bullets View Post
His wife is the one with the beard.
what's a spouse?

do you need a tag for them...is there a season?
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Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
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  #39  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:37 PM
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Au revoir, Gopher Au revoir, Gopher is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 58thecat View Post
what's a spouse?

do you need a tag for them...is there a season?
A person could get in trouble using the term 'bag limit' in this context.

ARG
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sjemac View Post
It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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  #40  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:41 PM
Osky Osky is offline
 
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"Did you wash your hands?"

*sigh*

Osky
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  #41  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck View Post
"Don't be mad, but...." And then tells me something absolutely guaranteed to make me mad.

Or even worse....

"This is just an idea, but can we...." ....which usually involves me doing a whole lot of something while getting a whole lot of advice from someone who knows virtually nothing about what it is that I am doing because she 'had an idea'......
"This is just an idea...." omg. Ive heard that tons

Last time was "i was thinking, just an idea...."..... came home a week later. Carpet was gone and half the main floor was already hardwood.......
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  #42  
Old 01-22-2020, 05:54 PM
Beeman Beeman is offline
 
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I get "we should..." a lot. What this means is "I want you to..." the thing that bugs me is when I spend days working alone on a household project and then over hear her saying "come look at what we did". I've just started replying something along the lines of "we should do that. Tools are in the shop. Get the ground work done and I'll give you a hand standing the walls up when it comes to that. Suddenly it becomes something that "we" dont need to do right away after all.
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  #43  
Old 01-22-2020, 07:11 PM
270person 270person is offline
 
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If you get a vasectomy we can have way more sex because I won't be uptight about getting pregnant.

LIE.



Me: what's wrong. Her: nothing.
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  #44  
Old 01-22-2020, 07:18 PM
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Everybody knows this one.....

'where do you want to go to eat, dear'?

''Anywhere is fine'' then when you name the first 15 places,

no no no no no


I have a way around this!

Guaranteed winner.

When you are on the way, turn to her, and ask

'where do you think we are going to eat, dear?'

Works like a charm, EVERY SINGLE TIME!!
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.


Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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  #45  
Old 01-22-2020, 08:41 PM
operator john operator john is offline
 
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Talking Never!!

Correct me if I'm wrong
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  #46  
Old 01-22-2020, 11:22 PM
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Mark your calendars, tonite Jan.22 I got "You're Right"
Guess I'm done for the rest of the year now lol.
WDF
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  #47  
Old 01-23-2020, 02:49 AM
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"Get off of me, you're just making a mess"
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  #48  
Old 01-23-2020, 03:41 AM
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I can’t read and listen at the same time. If I’m reading posts on here and she’s talking, all I hear is background noise.

Then she gets mad that I never listen to her. Maybe she should get my attention first!
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  #49  
Old 01-23-2020, 04:36 AM
saskbooknut saskbooknut is online now
 
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Did you wash your hands - yes, Dear.
Did you lock the garage - yes, Dear.
Did you put your ....in the laundry - yes, Dear.
Where is my....? I don't keep track of your stuff, Dear.

Me -
Did you fill up the gas while you were out - Oh, does it need gas?
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  #50  
Old 01-23-2020, 05:22 AM
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waldedw waldedw is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operator john View Post
Correct me if I'm wrong

NO NO NO John, don't answer that................... it's a trap
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  #51  
Old 01-23-2020, 07:28 AM
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she called me once said, "only the bottom of the tire is flat, the top is ok"
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  #52  
Old 01-23-2020, 07:37 AM
Smoky buck Smoky buck is offline
 
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You guys pay attention way more then I do because I can’t remember anything my wife says. At least I think that is what she says but I am not sure I wasn’t really listening
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  #53  
Old 01-23-2020, 07:51 AM
fisher Gord fisher Gord is offline
 
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Fine, do what you want!!
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  #54  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:00 AM
W921 W921 is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistagin View Post
My wife - often! "Hun, my car needs gas." (She passes at least 2 gas stations on her way back and forth from work.)
Me, "How low is it?"
She, "I don't know. The red light came on a few days ago."
Me, ""
I was fueling up at the cardlock and my daughter who was about 9yo, came to the window and pointed and whispered. That girl is putting diesel in her truck.
She thought woman where not allowed to fuel up.
Really though why would she? Haha it took her 9 years to see it for the first time.
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  #55  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osky View Post
"Did you wash your hands?"

*sigh*

Osky
Feel your pain Osky.....
Drives me nuts....

BH
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  #56  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:36 AM
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“Who’s texting you NOW??”

Tree


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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  #57  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:40 AM
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oops, laggy WIFI double-tap
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  #58  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TreeGuy View Post
“Who’s texting you NOW??”

Tree
“That’s just Pat”
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  #59  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:51 AM
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Do all wives talk to you from a different room and expect you to hear it?

I've only had two they both did that
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  #60  
Old 01-23-2020, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bat119 View Post
Do all wives talk to you from a different room and expect you to hear it?

I've only had two they both did that
Yup, and they expect you comprehend it too, despite that your attention was focused elsewhere due to reading something, typing something or watching something with the speakers emitting volume between her & you. It also counts when you’re in the kitchen with the range exhaust fan on. Or in the workshop using noisy tools. Or ........
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