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01-22-2020, 03:48 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,072
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Every time I go fishing.
'don't catch any feeesh!'
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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01-22-2020, 03:49 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,491
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Not something she said exactly-But the only time I ever heard my ex-wife laugh in 30 years was when /if I badly hurt/cut myself.
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You're only as good as your last haircut
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01-22-2020, 03:54 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Near YVR
Posts: 1,236
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I used to get 99% Sound and 1% advice.
Nice and quiet now...........
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We sleep safe in our beds because rough men & women stand ready in the day/night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.
RIP Pte Terry J Street 2nd Battalion, PPCLI, Shilo, Man. EOT, April 4 2008 Panjwayi District Afghanistan,Constable Jimmy Ng,RCMP EOW,Sunday, September 15, 2002
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01-22-2020, 03:59 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,072
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .257Weatherby
I used to get 99% Sound and 1% advice.
Nice and quiet now...........
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If you mean you moved on, that was a very good 1200th post.
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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01-22-2020, 04:35 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 9,650
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No one admits to Go eff yourself I can't be the only one when wifey is .
Mine likes to tell me the same thing at least twice if it is about something that needs to be done or coming up. Then wonders why i'm looking at her like that on the 3rd explanation.
I also get the something is wrong with the car speech, weeks after the noise started.
Giving directions, I don't want your hand drawn map(easy as google). Let me write it out like I need to do it so I know as I go. 20 mins later I am still explaining to turn left here, turn at that street there and you will see your destination.
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01-22-2020, 05:16 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Vulcan Ab
Posts: 3,871
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I feel like just being quiet. Run mofo run
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"It's like bragging that it's 10 CENTIMETERS LONG! (when really, it's 4" dude, settle down)"
Huntinstuff
"Me neither but it's all in the eye of the beer holder"
norwestalta
.....out of bounds.....but funny none the less!
LC
"Funny how when a bear eats another bear, no one bats an eye, but......
when a human eats another human, people act like it's the end if the friggin world. News coverage, tweets, blogs, outrage, Piers Morgan etcetc.
Go figure." -Huntinstuff
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01-22-2020, 05:25 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: GP AB
Posts: 16,211
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"Don't be mad, but...." And then tells me something absolutely guaranteed to make me mad.
Or even worse....
"This is just an idea, but can we...." ....which usually involves me doing a whole lot of something while getting a whole lot of advice from someone who knows virtually nothing about what it is that I am doing because she 'had an idea'......
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'Once the monkeys learn they can vote themselves a banana, they'll never climb another tree.'. Robert Heinlein
'You can accomplish a lot more with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone.' Al Capone
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01-22-2020, 05:33 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: At the end of the Thirsty Beaver Trail, Pinsky lake, Alberta.
Posts: 24,502
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Bullets
His wife is the one with the beard.
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what's a spouse?
do you need a tag for them...is there a season?
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Be careful when you follow the masses, sometimes the "M" is silent...
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01-22-2020, 05:37 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Westerose
Posts: 4,031
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 58thecat
what's a spouse?
do you need a tag for them...is there a season?
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A person could get in trouble using the term 'bag limit' in this context.
ARG
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In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sjemac
It has been scientifically proven that a 308 round will not leave your property -- they essentially fall dead at the fence line. But a 38 round, when fired from a handgun, will of its own accord leave your property and destroy any small schools nearby.
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01-22-2020, 05:41 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 604
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"Did you wash your hands?"
*sigh*
Osky
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01-22-2020, 05:43 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 9,586
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
"Don't be mad, but...." And then tells me something absolutely guaranteed to make me mad.
Or even worse....
"This is just an idea, but can we...." ....which usually involves me doing a whole lot of something while getting a whole lot of advice from someone who knows virtually nothing about what it is that I am doing because she 'had an idea'......
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"This is just an idea...." omg. Ive heard that tons
Last time was "i was thinking, just an idea...."..... came home a week later. Carpet was gone and half the main floor was already hardwood.......
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01-22-2020, 05:54 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 236
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I get "we should..." a lot. What this means is "I want you to..." the thing that bugs me is when I spend days working alone on a household project and then over hear her saying "come look at what we did". I've just started replying something along the lines of "we should do that. Tools are in the shop. Get the ground work done and I'll give you a hand standing the walls up when it comes to that. Suddenly it becomes something that "we" dont need to do right away after all.
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01-22-2020, 07:11 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 6,496
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If you get a vasectomy we can have way more sex because I won't be uptight about getting pregnant.
LIE.
Me: what's wrong. Her: nothing.
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You matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared... ...then you energy.
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01-22-2020, 07:18 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,072
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Everybody knows this one.....
'where do you want to go to eat, dear'?
''Anywhere is fine'' then when you name the first 15 places,
no no no no no
I have a way around this!
Guaranteed winner.
When you are on the way, turn to her, and ask
'where do you think we are going to eat, dear?'
Works like a charm, EVERY SINGLE TIME!!
__________________
Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought.....
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01-22-2020, 08:41 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 175
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Never!!
Correct me if I'm wrong
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01-22-2020, 11:22 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Airdrie
Posts: 1,780
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Mark your calendars, tonite Jan.22 I got "You're Right"
Guess I'm done for the rest of the year now lol.
WDF
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Fuel up, go for a drive, ask permission.....If you are scared, take your mom with you
Huntinstuff
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01-23-2020, 02:49 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 2,375
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"Get off of me, you're just making a mess"
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01-23-2020, 03:41 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Blackfalds
Posts: 6,935
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I can’t read and listen at the same time. If I’m reading posts on here and she’s talking, all I hear is background noise.
Then she gets mad that I never listen to her. Maybe she should get my attention first!
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Trudeau and Biden sit to pee
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01-23-2020, 04:36 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Saskatoon
Posts: 1,592
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Did you wash your hands - yes, Dear.
Did you lock the garage - yes, Dear.
Did you put your ....in the laundry - yes, Dear.
Where is my....? I don't keep track of your stuff, Dear.
Me -
Did you fill up the gas while you were out - Oh, does it need gas?
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01-23-2020, 05:22 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lloydminster
Posts: 4,419
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operator john
Correct me if I'm wrong
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NO NO NO John, don't answer that................... it's a trap
__________________
The problem we have today is that the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living.
We were all born ignorant but one must work very hard to remain that way.
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01-23-2020, 07:28 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 583
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she called me once said, "only the bottom of the tire is flat, the top is ok"
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01-23-2020, 07:37 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 7,334
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You guys pay attention way more then I do because I can’t remember anything my wife says. At least I think that is what she says but I am not sure I wasn’t really listening
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01-23-2020, 07:51 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 240
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Fine, do what you want!!
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01-23-2020, 08:00 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 1,313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistagin
My wife - often! "Hun, my car needs gas." (She passes at least 2 gas stations on her way back and forth from work.)
Me, "How low is it?"
She, "I don't know. The red light came on a few days ago."
Me, " "
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I was fueling up at the cardlock and my daughter who was about 9yo, came to the window and pointed and whispered. That girl is putting diesel in her truck.
She thought woman where not allowed to fuel up.
Really though why would she? Haha it took her 9 years to see it for the first time.
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01-23-2020, 08:16 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 817
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osky
"Did you wash your hands?"
*sigh*
Osky
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Feel your pain Osky.....
Drives me nuts....
BH
__________________
Bad decisions make good stories.
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01-23-2020, 08:36 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 11,576
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“Who’s texting you NOW??”
Tree
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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01-23-2020, 08:40 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 19,417
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oops, laggy WIFI double-tap
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"The trouble with people idiot-proofing things, is the resulting evolution of the idiot." Me
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01-23-2020, 08:41 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 19,417
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TreeGuy
“Who’s texting you NOW??”
Tree
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“That’s just Pat”
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"The trouble with people idiot-proofing things, is the resulting evolution of the idiot." Me
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01-23-2020, 08:51 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: On the border in Lloydminster
Posts: 8,343
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Do all wives talk to you from a different room and expect you to hear it?
I've only had two they both did that
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01-23-2020, 08:57 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Calgary
Posts: 19,417
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bat119
Do all wives talk to you from a different room and expect you to hear it?
I've only had two they both did that
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Yup, and they expect you comprehend it too, despite that your attention was focused elsewhere due to reading something, typing something or watching something with the speakers emitting volume between her & you. It also counts when you’re in the kitchen with the range exhaust fan on. Or in the workshop using noisy tools. Or ........
__________________
"The trouble with people idiot-proofing things, is the resulting evolution of the idiot." Me
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