funeral costs

[gordfishing]

A friend of the family recently passed, there will be a church service a cremation and a few others things, the step daughter is telling her step mother the funeral costs are $20,000.00
Too me this seems expensive , I could understand $8,000 to $12,000 but struggle with the 20 k
Anyone want to share their experiences

This same step daughter told step Mom that the funeral home needed a copy of the will which I called a funeral home and was told this was BS

[D4l3k]

The only people that need the will are usually the bank (if they are going to unfreeze and distribute assets according to the will), a probate lawyer, or a executor

Usually the bank freezes all the assets and only allows payments for the furneral home without probate or a solid will supplied by the executor

Is the step daughter the executor? Why is she making overly expensive funeral aggranements?

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by D4l3k

The only people that need the will are usually the bank (if they are going to unfreeze and distribute assets according to the will), a probate lawyer, or a executor

Usually the bank freezes all the assets and only allows payments for the furneral home without probate or a solid will supplied by the executor

This is very untrue.
Banks have claim to whatever they hold as secured creditor, but do not freeze accounts. They also have no need to see wills. The Executor will share as directed but only people named in the will are entitled to see it.
Banks have nothing to do with distributing assets.

I have seen funerals under $4000 if cremated. $20g is extremely extravagant.

[D4l3k]

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

This is very untrue.
Banks have claim to whatever they hold as secured creditor, but do not freeze accounts. They also have no need to see wills. The Executor will share as directed but only people named in the will are entitled to see it.
Banks have nothing to do with distributing assets.

I have seen funerals under $4000 if cremated. $20g is extremely extravagant.

All my mother in law's bank assets where immeditally frozen when the executor told them she passed away. These were accounts solely in her name. They demanded the will and death cert and took weeks to unlock the funds for the executor while they verified everything was in order

This was with RBC
During the time RBC was verifing everything the family started fighting about the assets in the frozen accounts and lawyers got involved.

RBC would not disclose any dollar amounts in the accounts until the will was processed so people started thinking there was hundreds of thousands sitting on those accounts

Certain family members made claims about the will being illigitimet and nothing got distributed for over a year because of it, what a mess it was

Much of the family does not speak anymore, it has been almost 10 years since then, so maybe it has changed now

My experience has been that banks most definitely freeze accounts when people pass away

[Sloughsharkjigger]

My father passed 10 years ago... emotions run high and tradition may run the decisions.

Traditional burial... the final cost was 22k.

The significant costs were the casket, the vault, the plot, transportation, head stone and after service meal ($35/per person x around 125 people).

It adds up quick... Dad would have said no way but like I said emotions may say other wise.

All the best for you,

[skidderman]

My mother passed two years ago. She was cremated. The urn was $900, many are much less. Total cost all in was roughly $8000. Could have saved more. We didn't need the funeral home to attend the service & grave site just to carry an urn. If one is spending more than this one is certainly being ripped off.

[airbornedeerhunter]

People are nuts. My mother died last year, my sister and I stayed completely amicable about everything. My Aunt was the executor and my Brother in law did all the financials as he is a CA. There was not a cross word spoken, no accusations, no fighting, nothing. Once all her affairs were put in order, debts paid and assets liquidated we split the remaining funds down the middle and that was that.

As far as costs go, 20K is outrageous and is beyond extravagant. We did the whole thing for barely 5K as per her wishes. Even that is robbery IMO. Back in the day they waked people in their homes and put them in a pine box and planted them-end of story. People have to have the big Godfather, Vito Corleone style send offs these days and then wonder why they spend years paying off their loved ones funeral costs.

Funeral homes do not ask to see wills!!!

My Grandmother is in her mid nineties, she has already said no wake, cremated and planted with my Grandfather. Cheapest route possible. no frills.

It shouldn't cost 20K to stick someone in the ground.

[roper1]

Both my parents, couple years apart, Funeral home needs to see who the executor is, so arrangements aren't just done by whoever feels they should. The executor gets the most say, flowers, songs, casket, etc.

Banks obviously freeze everything, the executor disperses whatever funds are left after income tax, expenses & probate if necessary, to whom the will declares, unless contested.

9-10 for Mom, little bit more for Dad, FWIW.

[Pathfinder76]

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

This is very untrue.
Banks have claim to whatever they hold as secured creditor, but do not freeze accounts. They also have no need to see wills. The Executor will share as directed but only people named in the will are entitled to see it.
Banks have nothing to do with distributing assets.

I have seen funerals under $4000 if cremated. $20g is extremely extravagant.

This is wrong as well.

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by chuck

This is wrong as well.

Which part exactly?
Any secured creditor that holds title to assets will be notified by the Executor.
Dad died without a will, nothing frozen by the bank.
Mom died with a will, nothing frozen.
Sister died with a will, nothing frozen.

Maybe you guys are doing something wrong, are you making the bank the executor for some reason?

[Pathfinder76]

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

Which part exactly?
Any secured creditor that holds title to assets will be notified by the Executor.
Dad died without a will, nothing frozen by the bank.
Mom died with a will, nothing frozen.
Sister died with a will, nothing frozen.

Maybe you guys are doing something wrong, are you making the bank the executor for some reason?

Ken, I’m not going to go into any details, but there are several variables at play. My advice for anyone here is to go directly to the source and EVERY case is different.

[Pixel Shooter]

Ken you are wrong here. Being a long term banker and dealing with estates and trusts a bank will not release assets ie funds without proper due diligence and typically works with the executor (s). Only time money will be distributed is to deal with immediate bills ie.funeral costs. Bank has liability and can be sued if not distributed to the wishes of the deceased. If No will depending on value usually involve the courts. Probate/ assignment of executor etc etc. High value estates will have to be probated.

In respect to cost of funeral home, don’t kid yourselves these people sell when people are at their weakest and emotions are high. Turns my stomach

Originally Posted by Ken07AOVette

Which part exactly?
Any secured creditor that holds title to assets will be notified by the Executor.
Dad died without a will, nothing frozen by the bank.
Mom died with a will, nothing frozen.
Sister died with a will, nothing frozen.

Maybe you guys are doing something wrong, are you making the bank the executor for some reason?

[denpacc]

Went with Elegant Tributes in Calgary, they were miles cheaper than the big Funeral Homes and did a great job, as well as being much more personable. You should be able to do under $10000, depending on what you choose. The big companies will also nickel and dime you to death ie. charge for more death certificates etc.

[Grizzly Adams]

My wife passed away the middle of February. Still tough to take, but going one day at a time. We're not extroverted people, with a small circleof friends, so we kept it simple. Funeral costs, including cremation were less than 3500. Mountainview was very helpful, no complaints there. We rented a local hall and had a celebration of life, very intimate and the affected people attended. I decided I'd build the urn, the least I could do for her. There was a will, since I'm the surviving spouse and executor, no Probate necessary. About as simple as it could get and not a bank breaker. Everybody you deal, may want to see the death certificate and a copy of the will, including motor vehicles, that's why the funeral home supplied 15 copies, wondered why initially.

Grizz

[fishtank]

It’s way over price , call the funeral home and the basic cremation service is usually under $ 5000 some as low as $3500 in Edmonton , as for the bank accounts they will freeze asset and account if account holder don’t have a will( but the funeral home can still access the funds providing some paperwork) , if it’s a joint account and the other person have power of attorney then the other person can continue using it ( funeral cost etc... )


As mention above some place prey on people at their weakness moment and charge then what every they can get out of them , best advice to all reading this is to get your things in order. And make it less hassle for your love ones when your time comes .

[nsmitchell]

Have a look at Costco online, they sell caskets and urns. After spending way too much on my Mom's funeral expenses in Ontario, I took the time to look around and stumbled on the Costco items.

[Brian Bildson]

"best advice to all reading this is to get your things in order. And make it less hassle for your love ones when your time comes ."


These are wise words! My parents made their own arrangements over 10 years ago, and paid at that time. Mom passed away last fall and it relieved a lot of stress not having to decided what is right for her, she had made her own decisions.

Making your own arrangements is scary for some folks but what a gift for your family at a trying time.

[58thecat]

What are average burial costs in Canada?

When it comes to trying to establish average burial costs, the question is more “how long is a piece of string?” There are so many considerations related to the type of casket, casket liner, vault, cemetery plot, grave marker, etc, etc. In the case of a burial, embalming is an additional cost, plus dressing, a viewing, vehicles required, services of a celebrant and the list goes on. At a stressful time, all these questions and choices can be so daunting that the bereaved often are so overwhelmed, that the stock answer is “just do a good turnout for her”. A “good turnout” in the case of a traditional burial can start at around $5,000 but can quite easily amount to a cost of $15,000.
What are average cremation costs in Canada?

As a very general guide a cremation is likely to cost a quarter of the cost of a burial. A simple, direct cremation in Canada can start at around $600, whereas a cremation with a service, and extra disbursements (obit notice, viewing, funeral flowers, etc), may cost in the region of $4,500. As mentioned above, cremation service costs will vary depending upon your province and area. For example a low cost cremation can be obtained in some areas of Quebec for as little $587, in Vancouver for $995 and in Toronto for $1,400, whereas in New Brunswick a simple cremation can cost almost $3,000.
The cremation rate in Canada is at 65% making cremation by far the popular choice for families today.

[igorot]

Just buried my nephew last December 2017 in mountain view. His grandma did not want his remain to be cremated. It was about 24K including the plot. All the expenses was contributed by friends and relatives.

[Pathfinder76]

Originally Posted by Grizzly Adams

My wife passed away the middle of February. Still tough to take, but going one day at a time. We're not extroverted people, with a small circleof friends, so we kept it simple. Funeral costs, including cremation were less than 3500. Mountainview was very helpful, no complaints there. We rented a local hall and had a celebration of life, very intimate and the affected people attended. I decided I'd build the urn, the least I could do for her. There was a will, since I'm the surviving spouse and executor, no Probate necessary. About as simple as it could get and not a bank breaker. Everybody you deal, may want to see the death certificate and a copy of the will, including motor vehicles, that's why the funeral home supplied 15 copies, wondered why initially.

Grizz

I’m sorry for your loss Grizz.

[AndrewM]

Just ask to provide receipts. Funeral home should have no issue providing it again if she lost it.

Something to keep in mind for any families that can not afford a funeral. The government will pay for the basic costs. They will confirm there is insufficient funds in their bank accounts and they will pull from government CPP funds I believe. It definitely helps as funerals are expensive.

[creeky]

Originally Posted by Grizzly Adams

My wife passed away the middle of February. Still tough to take, but going one day at a time. We're not extroverted people, with a small circleof friends, so we kept it simple. Funeral costs, including cremation were less than 3500. Mountainview was very helpful, no complaints there. We rented a local hall and had a celebration of life, very intimate and the affected people attended. I decided I'd build the urn, the least I could do for her. There was a will, since I'm the surviving spouse and executor, no Probate necessary. About as simple as it could get and not a bank breaker. Everybody you deal, may want to see the death certificate and a copy of the will, including motor vehicles, that's why the funeral home supplied 15 copies, wondered why initially.

Grizz

Sorry for your loss Grizz.




Creeky....


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[pikergolf]

Originally Posted by Grizzly Adams

My wife passed away the middle of February. Still tough to take, but going one day at a time. We're not extroverted people, with a small circleof friends, so we kept it simple. Funeral costs, including cremation were less than 3500. Mountainview was very helpful, no complaints there. We rented a local hall and had a celebration of life, very intimate and the affected people attended. I decided I'd build the urn, the least I could do for her. There was a will, since I'm the surviving spouse and executor, no Probate necessary. About as simple as it could get and not a bank breaker. Everybody you deal, may want to see the death certificate and a copy of the will, including motor vehicles, that's why the funeral home supplied 15 copies, wondered why initially.

Grizz

Sorry for your loss.

[creeky]

A cremation, basic pine box, viewing, funeral celebrant, memorial service and food for 100 people cost our family $12000 at one of the bigger funeral homes last month.


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[Dean2]

After doing way too many of these in the past little while I can tell you for sure, the people at most of the funeral homes I have talked to are not your friends. They are the worst form of predatory up-sellers and outright liars I have ever dealt with. Luckily, I was not emotional when doing the arrangements because they play on your grief, sense of loss, and guilt like the master con men they are trained to be. I have no idea how they can look at themselves in the mirror.

Best way to control funeral costs is to arrange things yourself well before you pass or even within a short time of when you will. The advantage to doing it yourself is you get the service and funeral you want, not the one your survivors get guilted into by the funeral home. If you don't do it in advance get a son-in-law, nephew, grandson, or close friend who isn't direct family to go do the negotiations. I know it sounds sexist but funeral home play far less games with men than they do with women when making the arrangements. You need to get what you want but also look at it as a business transactions. Comparison shopping really pays off. Not being directly related makes it easier to keep some of the emotion out of it.

For example, Remco Memorials was less than half the price of the Funeral home for a placed Bronze Headstone. Their Urns were exactly the same and priced at 60% of the funeral home price. You can buy Urns and Caskets on-line for about 30-50% of what the funeral how wants.

Buy the plot, order the headstone you want, (Pre-paid contracts here are a bit of a risk if the company goes Bankrupt but it is cheaper to go through the monument company than the funeral home. You can buy default insurance for both the monument and the pre-paid funeral.) arrange what type of casket/urn and type of service etc you want. You can pre-pay the costs of the cremation, embalming, funeral etc at today's prices, just be sure the Funeral home is licensed for that and you take the proper precautions.

A good basic outline of pre-need funeral arrangements in Alberta.

http://www.afsrb.ab.ca/prearranging.asp

You can do a very basic cremation, Urn, one/two Urn plot and simple service for under 2,000. Basic flat Bronze Headstone is about 800 to 2,500 depending on size and amount of script. Granite stones tend to be quite a bit cheaper.

[Ken07AOVette]

Originally Posted by Pixel Shooter

Ken you are wrong here. Being a long term banker and dealing with estates and trusts a bank will not release assets ie funds without proper due diligence and typically works with the executor (s). Only time money will be distributed is to deal with immediate bills ie.funeral costs. Bank has liability and can be sued if not distributed to the wishes of the deceased. If No will depending on value usually involve the courts. Probate/ assignment of executor etc etc. High value estates will have to be probated.

In respect to cost of funeral home, don’t kid yourselves these people sell when people are at their weakest and emotions are high. Turns my stomach

Good information, thanks for that.

We never had too many issues dealing with the banks for the family wills, but they were uncontested and straight forward. They did ask for proof of death from the Hospital and signatory from the Executor. (me)

[Jack Hardin]

Funeral homes know that most people think with their heart instead of their brain in these matters, and they take advantage of that.

[Ken07AOVette]

I am very sorry for your loss Grizz. Deepest condolences to family and friends.

[sns2]

Very sorry for your loss, Grizz.

[sns2]

Funeral homes are worse than the mafia.