Funny/Ackward Moments...

TreeGuy · #1 10-01-2018, 11:53 PM

Seeing as how hunting is once again off the table for me, let's have a bit of fun.

About 15 years ago, my little brother was about to pop the question on his beautiful bride to be. He had an amazing weekend in Banff planned, but with one ask.

Could we babysit their new kitten?

"No problem!" was my immediate reply.

Problem.

Kitty just had surgery and wasn't recovering so well.

The big night arrives. The happy couple deliver their 'first born' with a long list of instructions. No problem...

The happy couple departs. Leaving their sickly baby cuddled up on my lap. No problem...

At approximately the six minute mark upon their happy departure, kitty looks me square in the eye and promptly DIES!!!

@#$^^!!!!

Mrs Tree is a cat lover. She instantly looses her s#it! This is less than helpful.

Mind reeling, the only thing I can immediately think of is CPR.

With a heroic swoop, I swing dead kitty into position and begin blowing into it's nose and applying compersions.

Kitty came to life! It friggin' legitamatly came back!

He then sneezed in my mouth, looked me square in the eye and !@##ing died again. Further efforts were unsuccessful.

So at this point, I'm stuck with an incredibly upset wife, a stressed out bro and a dead cat in my lap. And people complain about Mondays!

Not the best way to begin a weekend....

Then the phone rang. "How's Gus?"

"Gus is doing just fine."

They are long since happily married, with three beautiful children. Poor Gus hasn't been mentioned once until tonight. I'm not so sure the SIL is over it. LOL!

Tree

Weedy1 · #2 10-02-2018, 06:16 AM

Sounds like a real catastrophe.

Dewey Cox · #3 10-02-2018, 06:32 AM

You've got to be kitten me.

CaberTosser · #4 10-02-2018, 08:07 AM

Back when I was a bachelor I used to run my first house as a shared accom rental to help pay my bills. My tenants were my best friend and his older sister who even used to babysit me back when we were really young. My buddies girlfriend had gifted me a kitten that was still very young so it was getting all over as kittens do. My female tenant was doing some laundry one day and might have had to warm up one load that was in the dryer so that it would fold better, turned out kitty had gotten in there when the door was ajar and it did not survive the ride, being a gas-fired dryer it didn’t stand a chance. The girl was traumatized, so I only mentioned that the laundry was ‘kitten soft’ to others

. Of course those clothes needed to be washed again. The SPCA people can give a pretty dirty look when you’re dropping off a dead kitten for cremation with such a story.

Albertadiver · #5 10-02-2018, 10:30 AM

Anyone remember the time that TheFisherManGuy needed some delicate assistance related to a piercing?

Sooner · #6 10-02-2018, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albertadiver

Anyone remember the time that TheFisherManGuy needed some delicate assistance related to a piercing?

That poor guy was in distress and now he will go down in AO infamy. I remember that thread.

Big Bull · #7 10-02-2018, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Albertadiver

Anyone remember the time that TheFisherManGuy needed some delicate assistance related to a piercing?

LOL, yes. I was a moderator then, and gave him until sunrise to get it resolved, as the the thread was getting pretty hilarious!

6MT · #8 10-03-2018, 09:05 PM

Ackward?

Stinky Buffalo · #9 10-02-2018, 10:31 AM

Tree, your story reminds me of this scene from "The Office":

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Cox

You've got to be kitten me.

You owe me a new monitor and keyboard.

Coffee! Spewed EVERYWHERE!

Redneck 7 · #10 11-29-2018, 03:36 AM

There’s some great stories in here, oh man I’m still laughing at some.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewey Cox

You've got to be kitten me.

This right here had me laughing so hard I thought I was gonna wake up the house hold.

huntinstuff · #11 11-29-2018, 02:49 PM

Had dated this girl a couple times and we were headed for supper and drinks one evening

She asks if a co worker of hers at the hospital can come along. Apparently she had been engaged, it ended horribly, the guy was a total dink, and she needed a night out. I thought sure why not. Poor thing

We walk in and there she is......my ex-fiancé.

Twisted Canuck · #12 11-29-2018, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

Had dated this girl a couple times and we were headed for supper and drinks one evening

She asks if a co worker of hers at the hospital can come along. Apparently she had been engaged, it ended horribly, the guy was a total dink, and she needed a night out. I thought sure why not. Poor thing

We walk in and there she is......my ex-fiancé.

Hahaha, always good when you get confirmed as a dink!

That reminds me of the card I gave to my daughter to give to her boyfriend...

On the cover, 'Hey, guess who just got dumped?'

Open it up and there is a little mirror inside.

She didn't think it was funny.

huntinstuff · #13 10-02-2018, 05:46 PM

......

Twisted Canuck · #14 10-02-2018, 05:52 PM

Jeeezusss.....huntinstuff, that you didn't get shot, quartered, and your head mounted on the wall...or maybe your arse, with a stick of dynamite up it....i can't even imagine the fallout of doing something like that. And you lived to tell the tale.

Bravo sir....Bravo. I knew I admired you for a reason, but we may be into worship territory at this point. My God....Bravo!

Edit: and then you delete that epic post?? Where is the sense of fair play? Dammit!!

huntinstuff · #15 10-02-2018, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck

Jeeezusss.....huntinstuff, that you didn't get shot, quartered, and your head mounted on the wall...or maybe your arse, with a stick of dynamite up it....i can't even imagine the fallout of doing something like that. And you lived to tell the tale.

Bravo sir....Bravo. I knew I admired you for a reason, but we may be into worship territory at this point. My God....Bravo!

Edit: and then you delete that epic post?? Where is the sense of fair play? Dammit!!

Oh lord i second thot it. Lol

260 Rem · #16 10-02-2018, 06:38 PM

I was 19 and had cyst growing on my left temple which Dr. Kuzyk scheduled for day surgery removal at the (Catholic) hospital in Vergreville. Zero hour comes and a nun/nurse starts my prep. “Strip and put on this gown”. (I thought stripping was a bit more than required but what do I know about sterile environments at 19.). “I see you didn’t remove your shorts, please take them off!” (Hmmm I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable but comply.). “ Get up on the table and pull up the gown so I can shave you!!” (That’s it, I’m ready to bail when the Doc walks in and says “What’s going on here?” ... The Nun looks at the poorly scribbled order sheet ... turns beet red ... and exclaims “Oh no, I thought it said “remove cyst from left testicle” .

huntinstuff · #17 10-02-2018, 07:00 PM

Im in Cabo San Lucas with my partner Heath

We decide one day to sit by the pool and use the swim up bar.

I develop this theory that the spiced rum is watered down, so I propose that I consume more than my normal, just to test my theory. Heath says go to it. She promises to watch over me. Sorta.

A few hours later, Im sitting poolside with my feet in the pool, having my 16th spiced rum and coke.

I feel two hands on my left shoulder, rubbing coconut sunscreen on me. Oh man, Im loving this.

Then, I feel two hands doing the same on my right shoulder. .......

I open my eyes and see this 20 something girl who doesn’t look vaguely familiar. I look over and theres another one. Must be friends. Smiley, wearing bikinis properly. Friendly as hell.

I look over and Heath is on a lounger about 30 ft away, shades down, and shes watching this. Im looking back at her like “hey, I thought it was you”

Heath puts her shades back on, shakes her head, and reclines. Totally abandons me in a dangerous foreign country in the company of aggressive strangers.

huntinstuff · #18 10-02-2018, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 260 Rem

I was 19 and had cyst growing on my left temple which Dr. Kuzyk scheduled for day surgery removal at the (Catholic) hospital in Vergreville. Zero hour comes and a nun/nurse starts my prep. “Strip and put on this gown”. (I thought stripping was a bit more than required but what do I know about sterile environments at 19.). “I see you didn’t remove your shorts, please take them off!” (Hmmm I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable but comply.). “ Get up on the table and pull up the gown so I can shave you!!” (That’s it, I’m ready to bail when the Doc walks in and says “What’s going on here?” ... The Nun looks at the poorly scribbled order sheet ... turns beet red ... and exclaims “Oh no, I thought it said “remove cyst from left testicle” .

Whoa!!!!!

xxclaro · #19 10-03-2018, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 260 Rem

I was 19 and had cyst growing on my left temple which Dr. Kuzyk scheduled for day surgery removal at the (Catholic) hospital in Vergreville. Zero hour comes and a nun/nurse starts my prep. “Strip and put on this gown”. (I thought stripping was a bit more than required but what do I know about sterile environments at 19.). “I see you didn’t remove your shorts, please take them off!” (Hmmm I’m starting to feel a bit uncomfortable but comply.). “ Get up on the table and pull up the gown so I can shave you!!” (That’s it, I’m ready to bail when the Doc walks in and says “What’s going on here?” ... The Nun looks at the poorly scribbled order sheet ... turns beet red ... and exclaims “Oh no, I thought it said “remove cyst from left testicle” .

Lol ol Doc Kuzyk! Was he a grouchy old bastard back then? I dealt with him at Veg Ford several times, he could be a real PITA sometimes..

BloodHound70 · #20 10-03-2018, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by huntinstuff

......

BOOOOOOO!!!!

Dam Randy I didn't see this in time!!!!
What did I miss???

BH

hayseed · #21 10-03-2018, 05:22 PM

I say BOOOOOOOO on Ken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what dreams are made of..... well for some... or most ... well me...

303carbine · #22 10-03-2018, 06:58 PM

A friend of mine went in for the usual prostate exam procedure, after it was over, I asked him, "well, how'd it go?
He said, "my tonsils are fine".

huntinstuff · #23 10-03-2018, 08:19 PM

Christmas party for my partner 25 years ago

Im late. Shes already there. I see her talking to some guy at a table. She gets up and leaves the table before I can get there. So, I sit in her chair to await her return.

“Hey buddy, that seat is taken” says the guy at the table

I say “yeah I saw that”

He says “well i will be in that before the nights over”

I have an internal chuckle to myself. I never get mad at that crap. Ive always believed that no one “steals” your girlfriend or wife. Your girlfriend or wife leaves willingly. I digress.....

So my partner returns but goes to the bar first. Buddy boy gets up and follows her. I watch as he puts his arm on the small of her back. She gently removes his hand. Im still seated. She still doesnt know I’m there....

He does the hand thing again and she turns and I see her face. It’s that STOP IT look.

I get up. As he walks toward me I obtain his arm and the rest of his body follows me outside.

I gave him a short snowbath. I went back inside and he stayed outside for a bit

I walk to the table where my partner is sitting with this lady. We get introduced. She tells me she was late and had just arrived, and that her husband was supposed to meet her but she hadnt seen him yet

My partner says what does he look like ?

I ask the lady if she works with my partner. She says “oh im her supervisor “

Then this disheveled drowned rat lookin sob walks in.......tan colored suit btw.....

Its her husband. They left abruptly.

My partner says “did you just get here”?

Yup

Told her the whole story about 6 yrs ago

huntinstuff · #24 10-03-2018, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hayseed

I say BOOOOOOOO on Ken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what dreams are made of..... well for some... or most ... well me...

Ken should have

Then added $1000 to her bill lol

DisplacedCaper · #25 10-11-2018, 09:13 AM

Awkward eh. Wait until you hear this!
4 years ago my first son is born. My wife was a contractor with no mat leave. So after 2 months goes back to work because I’m off on parental leave. It was tough but had to do it and I took ALOT of pictures to help. Halloween comes, and I bought a little infant minion costume for my little buddy

So I get a shower Halloween morning, he’s in his bouncy chair in the bathroom, then I proceed to give him a little bath when I’m done. Take him in his room on his change table and dry him off and I had his costume there all ready to go. I was pretty excited for his first Halloween lol. Put it on him and he was as adorable as a 2 month old baby can be in a minion costume.
Grab my phone sitting on the end of the change table take a pic and send it to the group chat with my wife, my mother, and her mother. Put my phone down take him in my room and get my Gru costume ready.
I hear my phone ringing. So I run to grab it and I say what did you think? Isnt it awesome! And she’s roaring laughing, and asks did you look at it?
I said yeah he’s adorable, it fits great!
She seriously said...look again! I need to call my mom and tell her to delete the conversation. I hope she hasn’t opened it yet. She’s at work. And hung up.
So I look, and there in the bottom right corner, in a little space between the bottom of the pic and the edge of the change table...is my wedding tackle. Hanging there. Sent to my mother in law and mother! Uuuugh
Yup. Sent a d*%# pic to my mother in law.
Flew back east to her place for Xmas. Very very awkward.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ken07AOVette · #26 10-11-2018, 09:44 AM

yep, I LOL'd

TreeGuy · #27 11-29-2018, 02:09 AM

This one just came to mind for some reason...

Several years ago, a bunch of us were assembled at the local pub shooting pool. Mostly friends and some casual acquaintances from the block.

After several rounds in for everyone, I made an off colour remark about pig farms.

Oops!

A lady with us who was a wee bit drunk absolutely lost her mind! Physically attacked me, which of course brought her husband into the fray along with Mrs Tree, then the whole gang.

Once the dust settled, I learned that her sister’s remains were discovered on Pickton’s property. I apologized profusely afterwards but....