Funerals suck

Jamie · #1 08-08-2019, 10:11 AM

In a few hours I will be helping to lay to rest a wonderful kid name Wesley Birdsell. I knew him as Wes and big number 66. Wes was only of my D-Linemen with the HS football team I coach. In a few minutes I am going to get his jersey so his Mom will have a keepsake. This all feels so surreal. So out of place. I find myself very misty eyed this Am as we start to gather to say goodbye to our friend and our team mate. Some of these poor kids have not seen or felt this before. Thing is, it never does get easier.

I will take that jersey, I will fold it so neat and tidy it will look like it was new, I am taking it to a seamstress so she can gently stitch up some little marks. We should all take care of each other with the same care and compassion that I will be doing with this jersey. Why is it that we never really feel until it is to late?

He went to sleep and just never woke up. No indication of anything right now.

Wes was a good kid and was a great team mate. We all should be so lucky as to have a kid like him in our lives at some point. I know I am grateful for the small amount of time he was in mine.

Wes Birdsell "Big number 66" You will be missed.

pinelakeperch · #2 08-08-2019, 10:26 AM

I just read his obituary. Loved hockey, football, golf and the outdoors. Sounds like a good kid that I would've been friends with at 16. My heart goes out to his family and friends.

Scott N · #3 08-08-2019, 10:30 AM

Sorry to hear that, he sounds way too young to die. No parent should have to bury their child.

Bigwoodsman · #4 08-08-2019, 11:03 AM

Condolences to you and the family of this great young man.

I agree Funerals suck, I have been to three so far this year all young in my opinion.

Prayers sent to you and the family.

BW

Sooner · #5 08-08-2019, 11:28 AM

Very sad to hear. Take care Jamie, condolences to the family and friends of this young man.

Somehunter · #6 08-08-2019, 11:33 AM

My condolences to the family. Our prayers are with you.

sns2 · #7 08-08-2019, 12:43 PM

Coached lots of football teams, high school, bantam, and pee-wee, but never lost a player. Praying for all affected. Tragic.

You are doing the good thing. That jersey will be worth more than gold to that family.

Ken07AOVette · #8 08-08-2019, 01:03 PM

Deepest condolences to family and friends.

hayseed · #9 08-08-2019, 01:11 PM

Sorry to hear Jamie

Sincere condolences to everyone...

calgarygringo · #10 08-08-2019, 01:20 PM

Condolences from here as well. Went through similar with our step son in 2000 passing in his sleep from they believed to be a large seizure.

The complete bantam football team he played for all showed up to the funeral in team sweaters and they presented his to her as well. We were pretty choked up at the whole thing but says something about team sports.

Groundhogger · #11 08-08-2019, 01:47 PM

Losing someone you care about IS the biggest punch in the gut you can ever get. My heart goes out to you, and everyone close to this young man. Beautiful gesture preparing that jersey for his family too, I have a hunch it'll mean more than you could ever imagine.

I've been to 2 funerals in the last few weeks, family members of a colleague of mine..so arm's length affairs. Stark reminder that the things I stress about all day long (that feel VERY real) mean sweet f-all in the scheme of things. Funerals never get easier.

Starting in 2012, I lost my dad, my closest friend and father in law over the course of a 5 year span. That's exactly when I began to realize that you really don't get over these things, the best we can hope for is to find a way to move on. I'm still grieving those losses if I'm being totally honest, and in quiet moments...I still wish I could pick up the phone and call my dad.

does it ALL outdoors · #12 08-08-2019, 02:33 PM

Sorry to hear Jamie, and you're right, funerals DO suck. Especially these kinds.

Sat through a friends 14 yr old daughters funeral last spring, asthma took her.

Lost a lot of close people over the years but sitting through that one was just painful.

Hug the ones ya love and tell them you love them often.

Rig-Rat · #13 08-08-2019, 03:49 PM

Sorry to hear this Jamie, losing someone is tough, but a young one is that much tougher.
His mum will for sure cherish that Jersey.
Positive note as his coach, I would say you had a positive impact on his life, that I'm sure he learned from.
Take Care.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

Jamie · #14 08-08-2019, 05:08 PM

That was so hard to sit through.

My involvement with him was only on the football field. I knew his Mom through some injuries but really, it was all about Wes the football player.

All the things I remember about him are exactly what was spoke of today by his friends, his family and his long term Hockey coach. He was a authentic 16 year old who didn't change to suit the situation. He was always just Wes.

What a lovely, heart breaking service.

The sobs coming from his Mom will haunt me. That poor woman.

Taking Willy out tonight. He turns 18 tomorrow but will be on a plane to Europe early in the AM. Going to tell my Boy I love him and I am proud of him at every chance I get.

Jamie · #15 08-08-2019, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rig-Rat

Sorry to hear this Jamie, losing someone is tough, but a young one is that much tougher.
His mum will for sure cherish that Jersey.
Positive note as his coach, I would say you had a positive impact on his life, that I'm sure he learned from.
Take Care.

Sent from my SM-G973F using Tapatalk

Thanks Rig. I loved seeing all my guys there. We all sat together and talked afterwards. I put the guys in charge of coming up with something to honour him and his family for the season. A few ideas floating around that will work.
I get way more out of this than I put in. They are all my kids.

260 Rem · #16 08-08-2019, 05:29 PM

Condolences. Unfortunately life is not always fair and death plays no favorites. During the 30 years I was a principal, I attended between 15 - 20 “student” funerals. Only one died of unknown causes like Wes... others died a way too young from vehicle accidents, drug overdoses, suicides... So tragic.

threeforthree · #17 08-08-2019, 10:36 PM

Deepest condolences to family and friends.

FishOutOfWater · #18 08-08-2019, 11:16 PM

Sorry to hear of the passing of someone so young... My condolences.

As an aside, I was 14/15 when a young girl who I went to Jr. High with & lived just across the street and passed away in her sleep.
Was a mystery at first, but I'm sure the doctors figured it out and told the family.

RIP Wesley.

Jamie · #19 11-20-2019, 03:07 PM

Thats a wrap on the season. we have our wrap up dinner/awards tonight.

Wes was remembered everyday of this season. At the end of practice, the D line comes together for a quick chat and is broke down by a different guy each night. Our break down chant was "1, 2, 3 BIG SEXY... No idea who came up with that but its been that way for 4 years now.

This year, it was changed... 1..2..3.. Big Bird.

Tonight I get to introduce and explain the Wes Birdsell annual Team mate award. His Mom will be there to give it away in it's inaugural year and it really is going to a good guy.

Here is the speech..

For those that don't know me, I am Jamie Hunt and have been blessed with the responsibility of coaching our Defensive line for the past 4 years.

I met Wes 3 years ago as a grade 10 student. He so much wanted to play this game. But more so, he was just this charismatic kid who kept growing up every time I saw him. He was able to attract friends instantly, he was able to be a leader when others were falling behind. He stood up when others sat down. He reminded me why I loved this game. He didn’t play for the wins, He didn’t play for the glory of the tackles, he played for his friends, he played for the ability to cheer when a buddy did something great. He played to be a leader on a team, he played for his teammates.

The meaning of this award all became so very apparent at Wes’s memorial service. As I sat there in that over capacity chapel, I could see that Wes had that affect on everyone. The tributes read that day from his hockey coach galvanized exactly my thought pattern. Big Bird was the ultimate team mate and friend, his attitude transcended specific sports and lead to him being a influencer wherever he played. For that very special reason we as a team decided to start this annual award.

It’s a simple one to qualify for but such a honour to win. Be a good guy, be dedicated, be fun, be a leader where you can. Love your team mates and let them love you back. Thats all.. Nothing more, nothing less.

I cant help but stand here and think this is perhaps the way we should all just live our lives going forward. Perhaps the path to success in life is through those simple but effective steps. Obviously Wes was wise beyond his years and we are fortunate that he left us with such ever lasting memories and wisdom.

We are so lucky to have Wes’s Mom Nadia here to hand out this honour. Please give a warm Lams welcome for Nadia.

I miss that kid.

As for our season.. We took it all the way to City finals and lost 14-0 in a game that was still up for grabs with 3 min to go. A remarkable accomplishment and a experience I will not soon forget.

bessiedog · #20 11-20-2019, 03:15 PM

Hard time man.

Keep on with the kids. The experience can hurt some times. But bless you for spending time with them.

Honor his memory.
Smile

Bigwoodsman · #21 11-20-2019, 03:47 PM

Jamie that's a touching tribute to a great young man. It choked me up to read about him again.

Like Bessie said, stick with the kids, you're a great influence and roll model for these guys coming up behind.

BW

KegRiver · #22 11-20-2019, 05:22 PM

I have put far too many family and friends to rest. It doesn't get easier, it gets harder.

I remember when you offered to help us when we had boat trouble out in Rupert a few years back. I know you are a caring guy, a real gentleman.

I wish there was something I could do or say to make your load lighter, but there isn't.
All I can say is, I have no doubt that you were a positive presence in this young man's life. Many kids never have that.

Never doubt how much you matter to these young men.

You honor Wesley's memory with the work you do.

He will live on in his team mates memory and in yours.

There can be no greater legacy.

RandyBoBandy · #23 11-20-2019, 08:03 PM

You are a ROCK SOLID man Jamie

Jamie · #24 11-20-2019, 09:46 PM

This stuff exhausted me... Thanks for the kind words guys.
Seeing his mom and family there and her speaking might have sucked every last emotion I have right out me. I am just numb right now. I don't get how she can deal with this every day. Our family are approx. the same age and both families have run the same general path. So many commonalities. I guess I just relate to her exact situation on a high level.
What a classy and inspirational lady his Mom is.

I am headed to bed....

shawn · #25 11-21-2019, 09:18 AM

wow this thread brings back some memories of a not so good time. My football team went through the same thing when I was in junior high, after ready the post by Calgarygringo i am believe it was most likely your step son.

Jamie as a coach I have no doubt that this must weigh on you heavily as I know it did with all our coaches at the time. I still remember our head coach Ron standing up to talk at Craig’s funeral and being at a loss for words. I remember going to football practice the day it happened and watching coach Ray crying when he found out. I still remember sitting in class when my math teacher broke down crying and told us what happened and the feeling like I had just been kicked in the guts.

The incident brought the whole football team together like I have never seen any other team. Not only the football team but the whole school came together. After Craig passed it made everyone really come together as a community and I am sure the same has happened with His passing.

I offer my deepest condolences to you Jamie, his football family and of course his family.

Calgarygringo if you are reading this. I hope you and your family have found some sense of peace over years and want you to know Craig hasn’t been forgotten.