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Old 03-20-2019, 03:19 PM
stuckincity stuckincity is offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Calgary
Posts: 2,315
Default 'Poison Pen' Letter

Someone sent me this by snail mail, just got the letter today.

Its old as the hills, but was it one of YOU GUYS that sent it to me............???

The Reverend Elton Jones Rescue Mission

"Dear Mr. [My Last Name]

Perhaps you have heard of my nationwide campaign in the cause of Temperance. Each year in the last fifteen I have made a
tour of Western Canada, delivering a series of lectures on the evils of drinking
On this tour, I have been accompanied by my friend Clyde
Linton. Clyde, a young man of good family and excellent background,
is a pathetic example of a life ruined by excessive indulgence in
alcohol.
Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the
platform, drunk, wheezing, staring at the audience through heavy,
bleary, blood-shot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose,
passing gas, and making obscene gestures to the ladies, while I pointed him out
as an example of what over-indulgence in alcohol can do to a person.
This winter, unfortunately, my dear Clyde passed away and I require a replacement.
A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you would be available to take Clyde’s place on this summer’s tour?

Yours in faith,

[signed]

The Reverend Elton Jones"
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Old 03-20-2019, 04:08 PM
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Red Bullets Red Bullets is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: central Alberta
Posts: 12,627
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That's funny. So when are you going on tour? haha
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This country was started by voyagers whose young lives were swept away by the currents of the rivers for ten cents a day... just for the vanity of the European's beaver hats. ~ Red Bullets
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It is when you walk alone in nature that you discover your strengths and weaknesses. ~ Red Bullets
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Old 03-20-2019, 05:45 PM
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Habfan Habfan is offline
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 1,721
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Classic ! I think I might use that on a couple friends.
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Old 03-20-2019, 08:03 PM
Dmay Dmay is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Elk Point, Alberta
Posts: 924
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I'm in.....$20.00/day if ya can supply enough Alberta Premium to keep me drunk!

My word....I been workin all these dam years when an opportunity like this is available?
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