Child seeks 50 50 Parenting

[Smokey]

I have a child of high school age seeking equal parenting. Submitted his notice. My spouse is vehemently against it, but they are of age to do as they want.

Is it as easy as submitting notice to both parents for now. Or does he need his own council?

[jstubbs]

Talk to your lawyer.

[roper1]

Depends a bit on support agreements. They can pick parents for sure at that age. If there's a true living arrangement change, might have to re-process support payments. That's cheap insurance.......

[Smokey]

Originally Posted by roper1

Depends a bit on support agreements. They can pick parents for sure at that age. If there's a true living arrangement change, might have to re-process support payments. That's cheap insurance.......

There will be. One day the child will do as they please and we have to live with it.

I don't even care about the money. Unfortunately everyone else does because that the incentivation of family law. The kid wants true 50/50 custody.

[Grizzly Adams1]

I usually stay out of this stuff, way to complicated for a guy who never had matrimony problems, but do you want to risk alienating your child, its their valid legal judgement and rules the day ? I know a guy with 5 kids, none of whom have spoken to him for years because of marriage issues. He's a very lonely man.

Grizz

[Joes]

Originally Posted by Smokey

I have a child of high school age seeking equal parenting. Submitted his notice. My spouse is vehemently against it, but they are of age to do as they want.

Is it as easy as submitting notice to both parents for now. Or does he need his own council?

If there is a court order in place, then one of you would have to apply to the courts to have it changed unless you both agree to it and it sounds like she doesn’t. If there are no court orders in place, then let your child do as he/she wants and if your ex doesn’t like it, let her take the initiative to apply to the courts to try to get an order forcing the child to stay with her full time. And good luck to her! From what I understood from the legal advice I got when I separated- there is no age that the law states a child can make up their own mind about where to live but that a judge will usually factor in the kids wants especially when at high school age. Sorry you’re going through this. Hope it works out in the best interests of your child.

[DarkAisling]

It’s been a long time since I dealt with any custody issues here in Calgary.

Back in ‘04 when I was dealing with custody issues my son was assigned his own council by the courts.

Long story short: he wanted to live with his addict father. His lawyer fought for it, but the judge determined that my son did not know what was best for himself, as his grades were garbage and he wasn’t doing his homework.

If your son is making wise choices for himself, his desire for 50/50 should not be complicated and should be respected by the courts.

[FishOutOfWater]

Speaking as the child of divorced parents, who went through this exact process (albeit 35 years ago)...

Tell (even show) your wife, if she opposes his decision - he'll never forget it. Even if he does forgive her.

[smithy]

If he wants shared parenting, and you support his decision, reach out to your former spouse/partner and advise them of your son's wishes and request the change.

If there is no agreement, make the appropriate parenting application and also apply to have child counsel appointed for your son. He can then have a lawyer appointed by Legal Aid, who he can instruct directly, and you and your former spouse/partner will likely each be responsible to each repay half the costs to Legal Aid.

Prior to doing any of this, understand that courts are slow and expensive and that by the time it all winds through the court it may be a moot point as he will be old enough to essentially do what he wants.