Depression. - Page 3

827rotax · #61 02-14-2011, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MK2750

It started for me in my mid teens. My mom was dieing from cancer and I became the center of the universe for all around. It seemed strange at first, all of the attention I received, but by the time she passed away a couple of years later I had become a master at wallowing in the misery of it all.

A full blown alcoholic by the time I was twenty the blues became so habitual I had forgotten what normal was. I traveled from province to province on this crazy roller coaster of mood swings. I was always able to maintain a good job and had some wonderful relationships, but inside of me was this knowing that something bad was about to happen. If it didn’t happen soon enough, I would cause it. The cycle would be complete and I would start all over again.

There then came a time when I was thirty that I came to the sad realization that I had no one left to blame.

That was nearly twenty years ago. My kids (11 and 16) have never known that pathetic soul I left there in that dingy hotel room.

I will not bore you with the details of recovery as each of us must find our own way. I will tell you that 90% of the battle is won the moment you admit you have a problem. No, life has not become a bed of roses and yes there are still days when I look to the heavens for a little support, but it does get better everyday.

I had taken much more than I had ever given to this world. The deficit left me feeling emptier with every morsel I grabbed in selfishness. In giving I found peace.

“Anyone who seeks his own happiness will not find it. But those who seek the happiness of others will find happiness in all they do.” – a transliteration of the words of Jesus from Mathew 16

I wish you the best of luck and please remember that misery is truly optional.

Great story, thank you for sharing. Although some of the details are different the feeling is very much the same. There are things that stem back to my teens that i never really delt with as well. I look forward to this journey more each story I read. When you do start to look back you see what you have left behind and realize what you could have done different. The thought of feeling and living again gives me so much hope for my future. Thank you, very nice of you to share, as all have.

moose maniac · #62 02-14-2011, 07:11 PM

hey bud i went through periods of depression it can seem pretty bleek at times i went to my doctor he put me on effexor it took a while put i would have to say it really helped me.DO NOT GIVE UP IT WILL GET BETTER GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR ASAP

bb356 · #63 02-14-2011, 07:20 PM

EVERY poster has given some very good advice !!! Just guessing ROTAX but this little ditty might give you a smile !!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1DNlsUPL_4

greylynx · #64 02-14-2011, 09:30 PM

After reading every post, I figure that depression is like busting your arm.

You bust your arm, you go to a doctor to fix it.

If you don't fix that arm, you are creating long term hurt on yourself.

Depression is the same.

Do what Randy says, and keep that appointment.

SonnyJ · #65 02-14-2011, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greylynx

After reading every post, I figure that depression is like busting your arm.

You bust your arm, you go to a doctor to fix it.

If you don't fix that arm, you are creating long term hurt on yourself.

Depression is the same.

Do what Randy says, and keep that appointment.

Dude you are way off with the busted arm thing.
With a busted arm you know what the problem is and you know what the cure is..
With depression you may not know what the problem is and you may not know what the cure is..but yeah..seek help..

MKD · #66 02-16-2011, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 827rotax

Thank you all so very much for the PM's and all the advice. I have called the health link and will follow their advice. The thought of leaving my daughter without a dad kills me, but the thought of being here without her kills me also. I am very low and sad right now, I know I need help. I know that putting this on a forum may not be the best choice but I really needed someone to listen.
Thank you all again.
Dennis

No matter what your address is Dennis your daughter will always need you!
Glad you sought help!

Tuc · #67 02-16-2011, 09:45 AM

You guys are awesome. The Lord works in misterious ways.

827, I hope you are feeling a little better. Hang in therte bud!

yamaha 1 · #68 02-16-2011, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tuc

You guys are awesome. The Lord works in misterious ways.

827, I hope you are feeling a little better. Hang in therte bud!

x2 I think you guys just saved a life.

So Nova *!% · #69 02-16-2011, 11:49 AM

Well I'm just crying (really ) at least in one thing Rotax and I think alike (see sig line) I've been that depressed Have had my stomach pumped twice and the last time all my daughters were alive sure would have been nice to have someplace to get advice back then
and I love the advice that no matter what you address is your ( insert family member ) will need you
Rotax I don't know if I can lend you a hand but the hand is extended and I will help you in any way possibe

827rotax · #70 02-16-2011, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by So Nova *!%

Well I'm just crying (really ) at least in one thing Rotax and I think alike (see sig line) I've been that depressed Have had my stomach pumped twice and the last time all my daughters were alive sure would have been nice to have someplace to get advice back then
and I love the advice that no matter what you address is your ( insert family member ) will need you
Rotax I don't know if I can lend you a hand but the hand is extended and I will help you in any way possibe

Your crying??? I have been crying too,(impowering tears) but you know what I open my laptop even at work and I read this thread, I have over and over!! I cant believe the outpouring of support this board has offered me, and I am sure some others that maybe needed a look into the window of their being. An update my wife and I have talked and started some process there

Also the appointment is booked for the doctor soon and I am working to see if I can get in sooner. Also with the "rock Bottom" I feel I have hit, it has flipped the switch for me, Many great stories and of personal conflicts and victories you all have shared and the fact that it is better on the other side has inspired me to really dig deep and look at my life from early stages even into my teens. I can clearly see the pattern now and looking at I know that I have been unhappy and unhealty for a very long time, as some would say living a huge lie. I can also see me forgiving myself as the power to want a great life is calling me. I know it is early and I have a great journey ahead of me, but for once I have a goal, perspective and a willingness to want more out of my beautiful life. I have asked my wife to read this thread against the judgement of others (you know who you are, and I thank you, but I really feel it is ok and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, our call meant alot to me) because for the first time it was me telling it like it is not some bs story (A huge breakthrough for me). She too could not believe the caliber of people on this board. My hats off to you all, "today is the first day of the rest of my life" that actually means a great deal to me now. Thank you I will update after the doc and let you know if I am going to the 4th floor or not

, not!! Thank you! Thank You! Thank YOU ALL!!

827rotax · #71 02-16-2011, 03:43 PM

Oh, I wish some "antis" could see the POWER of this community, it is incredible!!
YOU ALL ROCK!!

FishingMOM · #72 02-16-2011, 04:14 PM

827

It is a relief to see that you and your wife have sat down together and talked.
Talking will definately help you through the healing process which you are now on.
No matter how dark and dismal a day may seem you know you have countless friends and like minded guys/gals who are here for you.

If you can't get into your doctor in the next day or two I would highly suggest seeing a walk in clinic doctor. This way you can get the ball rolling and request that a note be sent to your doctor. I am very surprised that when you called your doctor they didn't squeeze you in right away.

Hang in there,

Jen

densa44 · #73 02-16-2011, 04:16 PM

Way too go! Please keep us in the loop.

Slannesh · #74 02-16-2011, 04:21 PM

Getting to this one pretty late and just finished catching up.

Rotax, you got some great advice in here. It's something that happens to a lot of people and the biggest hurdle will be admitting that there is a problem and being able to honestly and objectively look at why you feel the way you do and then taking steps to make it better.

It's threads like this that keep me coming back to this forum. I love hunting and fishing as much as the next guy but i've definitely found that as i've gotten older I have way less personal tolerance for internet tough guys, but when we as a community pull together to help out one of our own that's having trouble? Well that means something.

I've seen it happen quite a few times on here and I just want to say thanks to all the guys and gals that take the time to help each other out.

Hang in there Rotax, it takes a big man to admit something like that and to seek help and I truly hope that it's the first small step to you being able to look at life in a positive light again.

827rotax · #75 02-16-2011, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FishingMOM

827

It is a relief to see that you and your wife have sat down together and talked.
Talking will definately help you through the healing process which you are now on.
No matter how dark and dismal a day may seem you know you have countless friends and like minded guys/gals who are here for you.

If you can't get into your doctor in the next day or two I would highly suggest seeing a walk in clinic doctor. This way you can get the ball rolling and request that a note be sent to your doctor. I am very surprised that when you called your doctor they didn't squeeze you in right away.

Hang in there,

Jen

Fishing MOM, My old family doctor had a history with me as he IMO handled my mom poorly shortly before she passed away last March, so i had to get in with a new guy, they are working to find me a spot sooner. My wife is a nurse and she is also seeing what she might be able to do with her colleagues.

The Fisherman Guy · #76 02-16-2011, 04:50 PM

I just saw this thread now, and read it beginning to end.

827, I admire your courage to ask for help from your peers. I don't think posting here was wrong in any way.

Tomorrow is a new day, and each day after that will bring you more of what you are looking for.

Keep us updated with whatever you like!

Gibson

FishingMOM · #77 02-16-2011, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 827rotax

Fishing MOM, My old family doctor had a history with me as he IMO handled my mom poorly shortly before she passed away last March, so i had to get in with a new guy, they are working to find me a spot sooner. My wife is a nurse and she is also seeing what she might be able to do with her colleagues.

Good Good.
Glad things are improving for you.

Tuc · #78 02-16-2011, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Also with the "rock Bottom" I feel I have hit, it has flipped the switch for me,

I'm glad to hear that, only one way to go now and thats up.

Keep us posted!

LeonH · #79 02-16-2011, 06:44 PM

I wish you all the best and good on you in asking for help, the worst possible thing would have been to keep it all inside.

TreeGuy · #80 02-16-2011, 07:49 PM

Dennis, the thoughts and prayers of 'The Family Tree' are sent your way. I tip my hat to you sir for having the balls to reach out, and hope to be able to shake the hand one day of a man of such courage.

We kind of have an unofficial rule in this house to be able to share at least one good laugh a day with each other. Goofy I know, but it works for us.

Here's a silly little clip that always cheers me up on the tougher days. (http://www.google.ca/url?url=http://...R_Zdk91UcGy-HA)

All the best on your journey. It will not be an easy one, but you'll reach your destination. NEVER forget that you have this vast and unusual collection of strangers here that support you and will do our best to help. Good luck.

crazyfish · #81 02-16-2011, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 827rotax

Thank you I will update after the doc and let you know if I am going to the 4th floor or not

, not!! Thank you! Thank You! Thank YOU ALL!!

It's great to see you still have a little sense of humour as well, keep up the positive thoughts, there will be rough days, but it'll only make you stronger in the end ! Talkin with your wife, expressing feelings here, or to someone who will listen, are all great ways to keep the goal of a healthy future on track ! keep it up !

molly · #82 02-16-2011, 09:10 PM

It is good to know that on this forum people can share almost anything, be it personal troubles or triumphs, and know that there are a lot of caring souls in Outdoorsmenland. Hats off to all of you for rallying around Rotax in his time of need!

greylynx · #83 02-16-2011, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SonnyJ

Dude you are way off with the busted arm thing.
With a busted arm you know what the problem is and you know what the cure is..
With depression you may not know what the problem is and you may not know what the cure is..but yeah..seek help..

So your telling me depression is not a medical problem, just like a broken arm or high blood pressure?

Maybe that is why people try to hide it, and are ashamed to tell any one of it.

Depression is as medical as a sore thumb. Depression should also be treated like a sore thumb, and everyone should look upon it like a sore thumb.

I see what you are getting at. Depression only happens to weak minded people. That is a big crock of horse pucky.

Like I said depression is an ailment that requires medical attention. Why do you have to make such a big deal out of it?

827rotax · #84 02-16-2011, 11:49 PM

Tree, That is one of the funniest clips ever! thanks!

Donkey Oatey · #85 02-17-2011, 09:01 AM

Thanks Tree I loved that episode. I laughed so hard I cried. Now to one up you.

From the Carol Burnett show bloopers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY

yamaha 1 · #86 02-17-2011, 09:31 AM

Tree , wow, I laughted so hard I almost wet myself...if that don't put a smile on some ones face I don't know what will....thanks, it even helped me out this morrning.

Tuc · #87 02-17-2011, 10:14 AM

DO,
I seen alot of Carol Burnetts shows back in the day but don't remember that one...Excellent!

elkchaser · #88 02-17-2011, 02:37 PM

Glad to here all the responses to you . I have had a long battle myself . With a third of my life seemed to be a dark angery place

that i was unable to see the love or good that was around me . It took a month stay in the hospital about 6 years ago . With alot of talking , proper meds & info It was the start of a better life for me and my famialy. It dosnt happen overnight & the key is to always be hounest with your doc ! ( Not all famialy doc,s know what or how to help) Find a real phyc if your not happy with your progress in a few months if you dont get one right away .Hounestly mine saved my life ! He told me that I had been given enough meds by my famialy doc to put a smile on a grizzly , but unfortantly thay caused me to become worse & slip farther han I ever had . There is so much help now & its a fight

that can be beat ! I just hope you know that your not alone & how much your needed .

IAMBREAD · #89 02-17-2011, 02:43 PM

YO DENNIS!

Remember "City Slickers" With Billy Crystal?!
Well you're like Phil Berquist, his friend who bangs the 20 year old grocery girl, loses his wife and job and all that!

But at the end of the movie he gets the super model cowgirl babe.
THUMBS UP BUD <3

827rotax · #90 02-18-2011, 08:53 PM

Update, I had a good day for myself. I was in to see the doc and got all the blood work req's I have an appointment for the work on Tuesday. He gave me a perscription for the Effxxor. I also went to see a pyschologist this afternoon. She was great, we spent the time talking about my life and my lifes direction. We talked about all things that contributed to these last few days. Going to learn how to set goals and meet them. I have another appointment for next friday. Still a long road and find myself quite angry for the last few days. I know this going to be lots of work but I am ready for this now. I am going to take each day as it comes and try to face each situation as it comes. I will keep you posted. Thanks all for the PM's keep them coming, all your stories are great and I would personally like to thank you all. You all have helped in many ways, all your thoughts and encouragement are a great source of me feeling more and more confident.