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12-03-2019, 01:05 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 8,311
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teledogs
Thanks everyone for your kind words & support. It means so much! For the record I am not suicidal just quite blue. My open heart surgery was a lot more to deal with mentally than I could ever have imagined and from the records it is quite normal. I had a great session today and will beat this!! Thanks again.
Sorry for the derail...
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teledogs, you can do this! You're already on the right road by seeking out help and even talking about it here on AO. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a PM.
BW
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12-03-2019, 04:03 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lloydminster
Posts: 4,490
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teledogs
Agreed 100%
I am currently having a hard time accepting my recent health issues and going through some post surgery darkness. My life has been spared by the surgery yet I am having a hard time being happy about it. I can't explain it or fix it on my own. Going to the councillor/shrink today at 9am. Very hard phone call to make but I know I will be grateful to have the opportunity to talk and have someone listen. Please get help when you need it!
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Hey bud I hear you loud and clear, I am fighting leukemia and have been for 5 years now, it flared up big time just before xmas last year, my doctor at the cross said we will wait until first week of Jan to start treatment, had some dark moments for sure, it's normal I have adopted the attitude that it is what it is, I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, I didn't choose it but it chose me and I really only have 1 choice, do what my doctors tell me and never ever give up.
I can't allow myself to have any negative thoughts as it drains my energy, and yes some days it's dam tough, seek help from doctors, friends, or just someone that can relate, send me a PM i'll shoot you my cell number it's open to a call 24/7 if you need to talk.. seriously I mean that.
Take care and be safe
Ed
__________________
The problem we have today is that the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living.
We were all born ignorant but one must work very hard to remain that way.
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12-03-2019, 07:34 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 1,223
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Quote:
Originally Posted by teledogs
Thanks everyone for your kind words & support. It means so much! For the record I am not suicidal just quite blue. My open heart surgery was a lot more to deal with mentally than I could ever have imagined and from the records it is quite normal. I had a great session today and will beat this!! Thanks again.
Sorry for the derail...
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Don't worry about any derail, keep on keepin' on. Many people that have have life changing illness/surgery go through the same thing, this is something completely normal. One of my friends dad's that had heart surgery told me "I proved everyone wrong, I actually do have a heart and the medical records to prove it".
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12-03-2019, 08:06 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 8,494
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My step daughter went to the eye doctor in Oct 2018. Saw something he did not like. 4 days later brain surgery to remove a large tumor. Mid 30's single mom with a 10 year old.
All went very well and they got it all. But I think she is going through something similar to the OP. Lots to celebrate still being alive and requiring no Chemo from my perspective, a little boy still has his Mama, But she is angry, depressed and quite negative about the future. Her perogative-she earned the right to feel whatever she is feeling.
Her world turned upside down and head cracked open like a walnut-plum sized tumor removed and the fear she must have felt being a single Mom.
Doing well till August then grand mal seizure and now is convinced that something wicked this way comes.
She was coerced into attending a weekly Tumor support group and I think that has helped in the last few weeks.
A victory was won, but the defeat continues.
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You're only as good as your last haircut
Last edited by omega50; 12-03-2019 at 08:27 PM.
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12-03-2019, 09:28 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,650
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Quote:
Originally Posted by omega50
My step daughter went to the eye doctor in Oct 2018. Saw something he did not like. 4 days later brain surgery to remove a large tumor. Mid 30's single mom with a 10 year old.
All went very well and they got it all. But I think she is going through something similar to the OP. Lots to celebrate still being alive and requiring no Chemo from my perspective, a little boy still has his Mama, But she is angry, depressed and quite negative about the future. Her perogative-she earned the right to feel whatever she is feeling.
Her world turned upside down and head cracked open like a walnut-plum sized tumor removed and the fear she must have felt being a single Mom.
Doing well till August then grand mal seizure and now is convinced that something wicked this way comes.
She was coerced into attending a weekly Tumor support group and I think that has helped in the last few weeks.
A victory was won, but the defeat continues.
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Omega I send my prayers and support. I hope the seizure is a one off and that can often be. But I know for me it is harder to take being so young and she is twenty years younger than I. I pray she can beat the tumor and the darkness it has brought to her life. Very much harder with her young one. I know for me a lot of the darkness comes from the fear of my son and wife dealing with my death, I was so sure I would die on the table. But I made it! I want to get to the point where I can celebrate that! God bless her!!
__________________
There is no God higher than truth - Gandhi
Protect the oppressed even if an enemy, never forgive the traitor especially if he is your friend
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12-04-2019, 08:33 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3,081
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Good luck Waldedw. Leukemia is nasty Blood disease. You wonder how you get Luekemia...... Yes you do have to fight it everyday. Enjoy your family, and friends. Good luck in your Treatments. Merry Xmas...God Bless.
PB43
Quote:
Originally Posted by waldedw
Hey bud I hear you loud and clear, I am fighting leukemia and have been for 5 years now, it flared up big time just before xmas last year, my doctor at the cross said we will wait until first week of Jan to start treatment, had some dark moments for sure, it's normal I have adopted the attitude that it is what it is, I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, I didn't choose it but it chose me and I really only have 1 choice, do what my doctors tell me and never ever give up.
I can't allow myself to have any negative thoughts as it drains my energy, and yes some days it's dam tough, seek help from doctors, friends, or just someone that can relate, send me a PM i'll shoot you my cell number it's open to a call 24/7 if you need to talk.. seriously I mean that.
Take care and be safe
Ed
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12-04-2019, 08:56 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 817
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On a show I watched quite some time ago they summed up the effects of suicide on a family is like a suicide bomber walking into a crowd. The people closest to you are the ones you damage the most. I have witnessed first hand the pain something like this causes. It is severe and long lasting.
It's an awful thing, and I can't for a second say I understand how people think that's the only way out, especially when kids are involved. It's a very dark place they must be in, thinking the world is better without them.
Like someone said earlier, asking for help is not a weakness. I believe it's the strongest, most brave thing one person can do. Admitting you need help.
Great thread guys and gals. My hope is maybe by reading this thread, it saves someone.
BH
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Bad decisions make good stories.
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12-04-2019, 09:49 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 24,071
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Teledogs- having never been in your shoes I can tell you that I do not know what to say to make you feel better, other than relish the fact that you are here, you have been given a new lease on life, your family and friends get to enjoy your company!
The human brain and body have an amazing resilience, but the way it heals sometimes causes such huge chemical changes in us that it throws everything out of whack.
Hell I can get emotional watching tv having just a man-flu!
Just know that there are a lot of great guys here, if you ever need an ear, hand or shoulder lean on us, we will help where and when we can.
Heal strong, Mister. Don't rush, it is a process.
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Only dead fish go with the flow. The rest use their brains in life.
Originally Posted by Twisted Canuck
I wasn't thinking far enough ahead for an outcome, I was ranting. By definition, a rant doesn't imply much forethought..... 
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12-04-2019, 10:02 AM
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AO Sponsor
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Airdrie, AB and Part Time BC
Posts: 3,001
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https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmon...alth-1.5383081
Man, it turns out this fellow was a retire veteran... Makes me so sad these men and women don't get the mental health supports they deserve. It is very much the reason I choose to support our veterans in my charitable donations in life as well as trying to do things directly for them like hosting BBQ's, raising awareness, doing food drives etc...
Please, please please, help a vet if you are ever in the position to do so. If our government can't step up when their needed, it fall onto us as a society to show appreciation and respect, but above all we must show compassion and care!
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www.urbanexp.ca
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12-04-2019, 02:59 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 65
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This is something I believe everyone should understand.
"Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky, posits that depression is the most damaging disease that you can experience. Right now it is the number four cause of disability in the US and it is becoming more common. Sapolsky states that depression is as real of a biological disease as is diabetes."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
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"Everyone in favor of Gun Control... raise your right hand." ~Adolf Hitler, 1936
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