Quote:
Originally Posted by Zip
Dear Beet Meeter
Don't be to worried yet,as you have mentioned you are only into day 3 keep calm and stay the course. these new side effects that you speak of..turtle head,stinky breath,swelling up,praying,short steps are all part of getting better,this is only a rough patch ( withdrawls) that you are experiencing..Here are some ideas to help you get past all this..
1-Turtle Head...use some Duct tape..get the grey stuff only!
2-stinky breath...get some tic tacs,certs,brush your teeth more often
3-swelling up...maternity pants will help with the discomfort
4-praying to Allah..i wouldn't mention this part to anybody..keep it quiet!
5-short steps when you walk...try only going for short walks
Good luck with staying the course you must stay strong and things will work themselves out with this help i have provided to you.
Anne Landers
ps...green kool-aid and red beets make a brown color..now you have me worried,don't try this as trying to changing the color of your afternoon deuce with something you have read on the internet may well cause you a whole new set of problems.
pss..don't trust to much with what you read on the internet..my advice would be to wait till the weekend then get into some vodka,then things will be alittle clearer for you...
Good luck..!
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Dear Anne Landers
One week update. Went out to feed the horses this
Morning and having to take little steps, took me awhile
Thankfully the trip is a short one.
Was breaking a bale open and what
Happened next I can only describe it as
SHART!!!
The ensuing explosion scared the horses so
Bad they took off running. The last I seen of them the
Stud was trying to climb over the filly as they were going
Through the screaming barb wire Fence.
The missus was sitting at the table enjoying her morning
Cup of coffee and seen the odd coloured vapour cloud
Billowing over the barn roof, knew that my quest had
Come to its final conclusion. The gray duct tape that I
Used to contain the reconnoitring Turtle head came
Off the a very much heard and felt rip. I now know what the
Fairer sex goes thru when they wax their nether regions.
NO THANK YOU!! is all I have to say to that. Their constitution is
Definitely better than mine to have that project done.
I had stolen a pair of sweat pants off of the Neighbours
Clothes line his wife is a rather large lady and they worked in
Lieu of the maternity pants you suggested for my swelling belly.
I saved Fiddy Five Dollars at the same time. I digress
I had securely tied them with a Tree Eights piece of yellow nylon
Rope to keep them up.Turned out it worked better than I had
Intended. The sweats couldn't take the strain
And burst at the seams. I stripped, sat down in the snow, lifted my
Heels in the air and drug myself along with my hands like I seen my
Dawg do and was surprised at how well it worked to clean. Dawg
Is right on the ball with that move. While praying to Allah I had
Wrapped a towel around my head thinking that
It would make feel more connected came in handy for
Drying off afterwards. Turned out to be bonus points for me.
The temp was hovering around the -25 mark and with my load gone the
Trip back the trailer was done a lot faster as my steps were considerably
Longer.Good thing, The Boyz were no where to be seen and I didn't
Want to create another problem. You were right about ONE thing
Don't take advise from anyone on the internet. Funny thing
That is where I found you. But hay I made contact first
The deuce is going back to being my morning ritual GOD willing
Note that I have returned to my original faith. Had considered
Budda fir a while as my belly looked like his. Now that the
Ordeal is over I think I will have a shot of
Maple Whiskey
Cheers
Beet Meeter