Let me start of this post by saying that I completely agree with having a suitable rod for the fish you are targeting, and that it is completely unethical to fish with too light of a rod. At the same time, there are several factors that influence what is too light.
-Taper: The difference in power between the tip and butt section. Casting is primarily done with the upper sections of the rod, fish fighting with the lower. Two 4wt rods will likely have similar power (they are both 4wt rods after all), but one can have double the power or more in the butt section. Case in point, I have a fast 2wt that has way more fish fishing power than a slow 4wt I own.
-River vs stream: In rivers, fish have the current to use to their advantage.
-Fish fighting technique: Many anglers simply do not use the butt of the rod and therefore don't fight fish nearly as hard as they could with that rod. If the angle of the butt of the rod and the line to the fish is more than 90 degrees, i.e. high sticking (bending the rod in a U shape), you're not actually applying as much force as you could be to the fish.
-How the fish is being landed: Do you often fish with someone who will net your fish for you, will you be netting your fish, or will you be landing them by hand? If someone else is netting your fish, you'll be able to fight the fish with the butt of the rod right to the net. If you're landing them yourself without a net, you'll need to tire the fish out to the point that you can control it with the tip of your rod. I have a fast 4wt that can easily drag in a 16" or bigger cutt using the butt section, but then when I try to land it I'm using the tip section and I suddenly have less control over the fish.
One thing to keep in mind, is even though a 6wt can apply more force than a 4wt, there are many time when the 6wt can apply more than needed, such as smaller hooks that can bend out. An experienced angler can probably put just as much force, if not more, on a trout with a 4wt as a less experienced angler can with a 6wt.
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