Originally Posted by BPM
I think these threads are important and I'm glad that public awareness and understanding is more out in the forefront than it used to be.
As a first responder for an unnamed federal government agency I deal with suicide on a fairly regular basis. Both "Successful and Unsuccessful" It's become dehumanizing. Its become a dark humor at times guised as a coping mechanism. Just hang in there, gave it his best shot, etc etc, but in truth, it wears on people. Do I like the sound of the air and stink when you cut off a ligature and their last breath escapes their body into your face? The absolute mess that is left behind? Making that phone call, moving the body and parts of bodies, writing descript reports. Nope, it's not fun. What's also not fun is the lasting effects, the dreams, the noises the smells that all trigger flashbacks. The inability to open up to friends and family and coworkers about it. The constant questioning about is there more I could have done, the post investigation questioning and potential (and frequent) discipline on whether or not I did everything I possibly could have when I found the victim? And the dulling of your own observations about your own friends or family and potentially overlook something in your own life that results in a friend or family member taking their life and you not seeing it and feeling like @%#$& for having not been able to do something.
We all chose our line of work and the good outweighs the bad however there are very much a lot of victims of suicide that reaches out beyond the person doing the life taking. (in case there are folks here that hate first responders police fire ambulance doctors nurses corrections etc etc and love to say "You picked the job")
Suicide is not talked out in the media, news papers etc etc, its rarely published. Heck, A friend of mine works for a railway as an inspector, and the amount of people in this country killed by trains is staggering many of you would be shocked by the numbers.
Suicide took the lives of nearly 4100 people in 2013, haven't seen the latest however it has to be substantially higher now with the economy like it is. I know in Alberta alone it's up a significant amount due to the economy and with Fentanyl out there, it's become a common means, often being written up as accidental overdose instead of suicide.
I know of several coworkers that have tried taking their own lives in the last couple years and a few more in other regions that actually did. And the same thing happens, departments send out mental health awareness emails and the news papers put a small blurb about it and then everything goes back to status quo and names and faces are again quickly forgotten.
A dramatic change in public perception is needed. Both for those to know what to look for (it can be ever so slight) and for those suffering to recognise early enough that there is help.
I am a full supporter of euthanasia for medical reasons etc, I know if I become a vegetable I'm ready to pack it in. But for the mental health aspects its so vastly deep and difficult to address. We don't want to be overly vigilant and misdiagnose someone having a bad day versus someone on the edge, but we also cant do nothing.
I couldn't care less if people think I'm not a mans man or a softy or why don't I just suck it up.
I've looked death and evil and horror right in the eyes at the 11th hour and fought for my next breath and come out the other side calm and collected and with lives saved so those opinions are not even entertained by me, but eventually we all need to look at our selves too instead of those things and make sure you're okay too. I know if I hadn't addressed things when I did I wouldt be posting on here right now either. I wasn't calm and collected once I got home, I wasn't calm and collected weeks months years later after the fact, I was simply dulling it, dehumanizing it and never resolved any of it, just another incident to bottle up and put in the ruck sack, until once day that sack was so heavy I collapsed and took it out on everyone around me. I was an absolute ****ing ******* to my family friends coworkers. I woke up angry, went to bed angry, hated people, being in public, watching the news, going for dinner, visiting with relatives. Just distant and isolative from everything and everyone. I would get angry, rage angry for absolutely no reason or the smallest thing, which was out of control for me and I got help. I don't take meds, might work for some, everyone is different, it took a lot of talking and understanding and venting and acceptance.
Get help, Offer help, Promote Help.
Otherwise you're no help.
Thanks everyone for your shared stories. They Help.
Sorry for the derail.
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