British humor- ABSOLUTELY POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND HILARIOUS
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>
> Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque..
> They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
> ============================================
> During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
> A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
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> Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
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> I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
> How could anyone stoop so low.
> =============================================
> I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
> balcony shaking a carpet.
> I shouted up to him, "what's up Abdul, won't it start?"
> =============================================
> A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates..
>
> He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
> Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
>
> "Are you Mohammed?" he asks.
>
> "No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that
> rises into the clouds.
>
> Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.
>
> He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
>
> "No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."
>
> Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.
>
> Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
>
> "No, I am Jesus... You will find Mohammed higher up."
>
> Mohammed higher than Jesus!
>
> The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher.
> Once again he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
>
> "Are you Mohammed?" he gasps as he is, by now, totally out of breath from all his
> climbing.
>
> "No my son.....I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?"
>
> "Yes, please, my Lord."
>
> God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
>
> "Hey Mohammed, two coffees !!!!"
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Former Ford Fan
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