A man walks into a confessional and says, Forgive me Father, for I have sinned . . The priest replies, What is it that brings you here?
Well, Father, I used the F-word over the weekend.
Oh, is that all? Say five Hail Mary’s and may the Lord be with you. The man replies, But I really need to talk about it. Lets have it then the priest says as he leans back on the hard wooden bench.
You see Father, I was playing golf this weekend and on the first tee, I was lining up my drive and proceeded to hit a horrendous slice into the trees.
And that’s when you cursed aloud? the Father queried?
No, not yet. As luck would have it, I found my ball and had a clear shot to the green . . . when all of a sudden a squirrel scampered out of some bushes, picked up my ball by its teeth and darted up a tree.
That must have been when you cursed?
No, because just as the squirrel had climbed to the top of the tree, a bird swooped out of the skies and grabbed the squirrel with its talons. The bird flew out of the trees and back out over the green. Then the squirrel dropped my ball from its mouth, landing 5 inches from the cup
And that’s when you cursed aloud? the priest said assuredly.
No, no . . .
The Father interjected, Don’t tell me you missed the f*****g putt?
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