Not sure how tall or what size your wife is, but Danni hunts with a remignton express 870 youth in a 20 gauge. I've shot numerous times, very light, kicks just harder than a .22, and had dropped numerous amounts of ducks with it.
Shes about 5'4" 120lbs and when she holds my Bennelli Nova it's very akward for her and heavy.
I believe when we were looking at the guns we could have also gone with an Remington 870 12 gauge with a youth stock. would probably fit her very nice and a 3" 12 gauge does not kick that hard espesially if it fits properly.
If recoil is still an issue there are very good recoil reducing pads you could put on it.
Way better to have a gun that she can actually hold and aim then one with less recoil. If she can't hit anything because the gun is too big, she will loose intrest pretty quick. IMO
Dustin
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