Trapper Sexually Assaulted by Beaver
 

From a well known fake news site. Just sayin.......

CANADIAN TRAPPER SURVIVES BRUTAL SEXUAL ASSAULT BY 200-POUND BEAVER

Jackhead | A Canadian trapper claims he has survived a brutal sexual assault by what he calls the “biggest beaver he has ever seen.”

Bill O’Connor, 63, was checking his beaver traps near Lake Winnipeg when a large bear-like creature attacked him out of nowhere.

O’Connor, who first thought he was being mauled by a small bear or wolverine, soon realized it was, in fact, a very large-sized beaver.

“I had never seen a beaver of this size in my entire life,” he told local reporters.

The beaver, apparently bruised by one his traps, was extremely aggressive and even managed to knock the sixty-three-year-old man unconscious before he awoke minutes later.

“I woke up, my face in the snow and gasping for hair. The beaver was crushing me with its weight and doing a humping motion on my head and neck while making a strange guttural sound. It must’ve weighed at least 200 pounds,” he recalls.

Moments later, the large-sized semiaquatic rodent eventually ejaculated on O’Connor’s head and neck, before leaving the area.

“I had warm beaver semen all over my hair, face, eyes and mouth, but man was I glad to be alive,” he said, visibly grateful.

Multiple sightings

Conservation officer, Tom McGreary, says visitors at the nearby Kinwow Bay Park Reserve have reported multiple sightings of an unusually large-sized beaver in the area.

“We have also had several reports in the area by local residents of excessively large beavers but until now it had been more of a local legend,” he said when reached by phone.

“Beavers are usually not an aggressive species unless they feel threatened or are injured, although sexual predation on other mammals, especially humans, is unheard of,” he adds.

Beavers continue to grow throughout their lives and adult specimens weighing over 25 kg (55 lb) are not uncommon.

The largest specimen ever recorded was captured in Red Lake, Ontario, in 1897 and weighed an impressive 107 kg (237 lb).

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/cana...-pound-beaver/

Trapper sexually assaulted by beaver
 

WTF!!! Now I've heard it all.

Scary stuff, maybe the trapper dropped a Viagra pill in the beaver pond by accident?

My grandpas schizophrenic brother “Rusty Gold” used to tell tales of the “King Beaver” that frequented the creek known as “Drywood” in SouthWestern Alberta, with a harem of girl beaver, some years ago, maybe there was some truth old Rusty’s story.
Personally I think would have left out some of the details had I been in the 63 yo place.

Dang ! A throw back to the dinosaur era! I,m packing up and leaving with my number five Newhouse traps in the morning , . I will be getting an AI tank full of N 2 , and plan on getting a good sample of this happy stuff ,
Now question is will he turn me on my back? God forbid! I need to see what i,m doing don,t I?
Safety Glasses with wipers
Oh yeah a bundle of fresh poplar twigs,
An onion sack for castors.
A set of fake eyes for the back of my head , ( so he cant tell if I,m coming or going)
A Go Pro
A letter to wife saying I may never see her again!
If any of you have any other ideas , let me know !

Yeah, like your name. :sHa_sarcasticlol:

That is why we never should flush pharmaceuticals .I was excited for spring beaver season now I am frightened .

Gold :)

I kept scrolling down looking for the punchline....

:sign0176:

Trapper sexually assulted
 

That's it! I'll be using my 7mm for beaver hunting from now on. Just in case...

I am speechless.....poor beaver.:)

Guys, hope snow starts to melt, appears cabin fever setting in when I read posts about Monster beaver and Big foot making love with trappers. Whats wrong with dreaming about Trumpers discarded Stormy girlfriend.

I remember reading a history article that mentioned when the train tracks were being laid near Banff in the 1880's the rail workers killed a beaver that weighed over 200 lbs..
The very first beaver I shot weighed 105 lbs.. It was nearly impossible to get out of the creek and carry up the bank. I was just a kid. Old man Shlutker told me it was one of the biggest beaver pelts he had seen. It was a few inches wider than a sheet of plywood when I boarded it. I had to use 2 sheets nailed together. Shlutker bought it for 120 dollars.

(I had to miss spell the fur buyer's name because it wouldn't print the first part of his name.)

Red what was you avg beaver size back in the day. I find a lot of over 50lbers and some yearlings not much in between but I don't tray and stack 300. Just enough for bait when they are a problem. I'm guessing that's why I am trapping the family units cause they are causing the problems. No one calls when 1 tree is taken down. Only when all of them are gone. Hahahahah

Bill

It really wasn't that long ago..back in the day. In the Late sixties is when I started shooting spring beaver. It seemed that the biggest beaver were the bachelor bucks that lived in the banks, not houses. They were much like you say... a 50 lb. average. The 50+ lb. beaver were on the creeks no one had trapped for years. Otherwise 30 to 50 lb.er's were most common with the occasional blanket beaver going 60+. These were parkland beaver.

To be honest I am always skeptical of beaver weights, Unless they are verified on a scale, My largest beaver to date was 83 lbs taken in a pond south of Markerville AB. and a 85 lbs taken near Lousanna AB.
That was a female , and the next heavy was one taken on Waskesu creek south of Red Deer . I have caught a great number in the upper sixty lbs range and quite a few in the 70 lbs range. Mostly in the Red deer river ,
My heavies were always females , and not when they were pregnant either, Any Beaver that makes me work at getting out of the river I weight.
The female rules the roost ! If she can be taken prior to the rest , it generally makes things easier . My Beaver take is near the hundred mark every year . it doesn't get easier !

sementically speaking, Beaver Fever may be the cause ... but only in Canada you say...Pity ... and for all his trouble all he got was a pearl ........

Ya around home I'd say the avg adults are the 60lbs. I haven't caught anything in the 70's yet but I don't venture out to real remote areas. I tend to do control work more than fur trapping.

Bill